Dining with The Powerful [Proverbs 23:1-3]

1When you sit down to eat with a ruler,
Consider carefully what is before you;
2And put a knife to your throat
If you are a man given to appetite.
3Do not desire his delicacies,
For they are deceptive food.

Proverbs 23:1-3 outlines unique circumstances – the rare instances when you may be invited to eat with someone powerful.

When we recall the context of many of these proverbs, this makes sense, as Solomon was writing to his son, who would have been a prince, and would have had numerous opportunities to eat with other rulers.

If we ever find ourselves in similar circumstances, the rules still apply.

dining


When you are invited to dine with a ruler or prominent figure, be mindful of your conduct and avoid any missteps that could jeopardize your standing.

Solomon advises in Proverbs 23:1-3 to consider carefully what is set before you and govern your appetite accordingly.

Don’t go crazy and make a fool of yourself because you are excited to be dining with the prestigious.

Recognize The Power of the Host


Your host, being a ruler or person of power, is not your equal.

Considering the context of the historical time in which this Proverb was written, if the ruler was offended, he had the power and means to harm the person causing the offense.

And in some parts of the world this still happens.

Treat the ruler with the respect and deference his position demands.

Avoid any behavior that could be seen as presumptuous or disrespectful.


Discipline Your Appetite


It’s easy to overindulge when presented with a spread of incredible foods that you’ve never been able to experience before.

However, Solomon illustrates the principle of self-discipline by putting a metaphorical knife to your throat to curb your desires.

Enjoy the meal, but do so in moderation.
Keep your wits about you.
Excess can lead to saying or doing things you’ll regret.

Be wise in public.

That’s the essence of this Proverb.

Beware of Deceptive Foods


The rich foods set before you may be tempting, but they are described as “deceitful meat“.

Outwardly appealing, they can inwardly harm you if consumed without discretion.

Drunkenness, gluttony and the loss of self-control are dangers.

These vices result from a lack of discipline at the basic level.



Prioritize your host’s good opinion over momentary pleasure.

Choose a good name rather than riches – in this case, caloric riches.


Maintain Your Integrity


When you are eating with authority figures, you represent yourself and potentially others.

Manage yourself with self-discipline.

Maintain a good reputation with your host – don’t jeopardize it through lack of discipline.

Enjoy the meal, but keep your wits about you.

Wisdom and self-control are essential when you are invited to eat with people of power.

Proverbs 12:1-2



Proverbs 24:1-2 explains a a key aspect of human behavior—envy—and offers practical wisdom identifying its dangers and contrasts it with the path of righteousness.

Because it’s not just that we envy people. sometimes we envy them for the wrong things.

Envy itself is wrong.

But layer on top of envy the fact that we are envious of evil, and we have have a serious problem.

Proverbs 24:1-2 (NKJV)

1 “Do not be envious of evil men, Nor desire to be with them;
2 For their heart devises violence, And their lips talk of troublemaking.



Warning Against Envy


This passage teaches a fundamental principle: the worthlessness of envying sinners and longing for their seemingly carefree and prosperous lives.



It’s a reminder to resist the temptation of abandoning our religious and moral principles merely for the allure of worldly pleasures.

We will always want to improve things and for life to be better, but when we start to believe the way to get to that better life is through sin, we are treading a Dangerous road.



Those thoughts will eventually produce action.

The envy of the sinful life leads to resentment towards a moral life and increased desire to life the life of the world.

This in turn makes it much more difficult to follow the commands of God, because now our motivations are working against us.

envy


Reasons for Caution


Envy is not merely a harmless emotion; it carries deep risks:

  • Sinners’ paths lead to destruction, not just for them, but for everyone around them.
  • Their minds hold intentions that are evil and lustful, this is shown by their speech filled with evil and their plans to do wrong – as the Proverb teaches.
  • Despite any sensation of success or happiness, their actions and intentions will inevitably lead to their downfall.



Wisdom in Disassociation


The practical teaching of the Proverb is to separate ourselves from the ways and speech of the wicked.



Get away from negative influence.

This theme is repeated over and over again through the biblical narrative.

We have to recognize the harmful nature of this envious behavior so we can safeguard ourselves from dishonor, harm, and a life of sin.

This disassociation is not about judgment but about protecting our moral integrity and upholding righteousness.



Righteous Anger


Rather than envy, righteous anger towards the sin of the wicked should be the attitude we employ to help resist sin.

Note that we focus our anger on the behavior – the sin itself.

The lessons from Proverbs 24:1-2 is even more profound in the digital age.

The digital age exposes us to images of success and happiness, and create envy all around.

The business model of social media is built on envy and emotionalism.

But the Proverb writer reminds us to focus on a life of righteousness, steering clear of envy-induced nonsense.



Practical Steps:

  1. Contemplation: Take time to introspect and identify the roots of envy or unrighteous, non-productive comparison in your mind.
  2. Thankfulness: Cultivate a habit of gratitude to appreciate your blessings and reduce envy.
  3. Anger Response: When confronted with envy, choose to respond with righteous anger towards sin or with a calm understanding rather than resentment.
  4. Curate Your Influences: Be mindful of the media and social circles that may fuel feelings of envy and work to surround yourself with positive influences.

Proverbs 10:11

“The mouth of the righteous is a fountain of life, but the mouth of the wicked conceals violence.” 

Proverbs 10:11



The Righteous Mouth: A Fountain of Life

The proverbs frequently include vivid imagery to help teach a point.

The imagery used in this passage is of a “fountain of life” and it describes the life-giving nature of the words spoken by the righteous.

A fountain provides the water the quenches thirst and sustains life. The words of the righteousness have the power to build and to uplift those around them.



But beyond mere encouragement, the words of the righteous must also address evil with boldness.

The righteous person’s words are not empty platitudes – they actually mean something and teach valuable lessons.

The righteous don’t pollute the air with empty, mindless words.

Their speech is seasoned with salt, giving grace to those who hear (Colossians 4:6).

Proverbs 10:11
Photo by Matheus Bertelli on Pexels.com



The Wicked Mouth: Concealing Violence



In contrast, the proverb warns that “the mouth of the wicked conceals violence.

While the righteous speak life, the wicked use their words as instruments of destruction.

The wicked attempt to hide their intentions behind smooth words and flattering speech, but their words ultimately reveal the darkness that lives within their minds. 



The Impact of Speech

Proverbs 10:11 teaches us that our words carry heavy weight and can have far-reaching consequences.

The words we speak have the ability to either breathe life into those around us or to deal wounds that may take years to heal.

The book of James repeats this idea in the New Testament that the tongue is like a small fire that can set a great forest on fire (James 3:5). 

Our words have the power to build up or tear down, to encourage or discourage, to bring healing or cause harm.



Guarding Our Speech

Therefore, it’s imperative for us to exercise control in our speech.

We must be intentional about allowing only words that are positive, truthful, and life-giving to pass our lips – but also not missing the opportunity to boldly address evil and sin.

This requires a constant vigilance over our minds, for as Jesus taught, “out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks” (Matthew 12:34). 

Our words will reflect what is kept in our minds.

The Contrast of Desires: Proverbs 10:3



Proverbs 10:3 identifies a contrast between the desires of the righteous and the wicked.


“The Lord will not allow the righteous soul to famish, but He thwarts the craving of the wicked.”


The Righteous Soul Is Sustained


Like most proverbs, it comes in two contrasting lines. The first part of the proverb tells us that “The Lord will not allow the righteous soul to famish.


This teaches us that those who walk in righteousness, aligning their lives with God’s ways, will never lack true sustenance.

It’s unclear is this passage is talking about physical, spiritual or emotional sustenance.

Other passages confirm that if a Christian will concentrate first on God, physical needs will be taken care of [Matt 6:33].

But we also know that God provides for the other human needs we have if and when we seek Him first [Isaiah 26:3-4].

The righteous soul is sustained by the Lord, who provides for their deepest needs.



Just as a loving parent ensures their child is nourished, God cares for those who seek Him.

This promise may be brought to mind when hearing the words of Jesus, when He said, “Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied” (Matthew 5:6).


The Wicked’s Unfulfilled Cravings


The contrasting line of the proverb states that God “thwarts the craving of the wicked.



The wicked, those who reject God’s ways and pursue their own evil desires, will find their cravings ultimately unfulfilled.

Whatever it is that they want and desire, even if they get it, they won’t have what they need for eternity.


The word “thwarts” implies that God actively opposes and frustrates the wicked’s cravings.

This is not a vindictive act but is actually merciful. God seeks to redirect their minds toward the only thing that matters in this life– a relationship with Him.


The Contrast of Desires


This proverb teaches us the contrast between the desires of the righteous and the wicked.

The righteous seek after that which is eternal, aligning their minds with the will of God.

Their desires are rooted in wisdom, and as a result, they find what they truly need – and walk into eternity prepared.


On the other hand, the wicked are driven by cravings that are ultimately self-destructive.

Their desires are rooted in the temporary pleasures of this world, leading them down a path of sin and, eventually, eternal punishment.


Righteous Living


Proverbs 10:3 is a reminder of the importance of righteous living and the futility of pursuing evil desires.

It teaches us to align our minds with God’s ways, knowing that He will provide for our needs – assuming we also do the work in our own lives.


If we can discipline ourselves to seek after wisdom and righteousness, we position ourselves to experience better long term outcomes physically and spiritually than the wicked.

Reaping the Thoughts you Sow



Thinking creates either positive or negative spirals.

There is no way around this.

Positive thoughts lead to more positive thoughts and vice versa.

This places a tremendous responsibility on us to control our thinking not only for the benefit of the present moment but also for the downstream effects that our thoughts will have on us.

We will reap the thoughts we sow.


There is no doubt about the reality that thoughts lead to actions. “We become what we think about”, as Earl Nightingale so frequently stated.

Therefore, we should take the management of our thoughts seriously, not letting our minds run rampant.

If we will eventually act in accordance with the way we think, then we have a responsibility to control the way we are thinking now.



Thought Control



Scientists are learning that while we may not be able to keep out intrusive thoughts by simple willpower, we can crowd out negative thoughts by consciously introducing other thoughts.

The conscious mind can only hold so much information at once in our working memory. Some think this is roughly “7 chunks of information”.

Whatever a “chunk” may be is up for debate, but the point is that our working memory is limited.



Therefore, if we want to get rid of negative thoughts, the most effective way to do this is to crowd them out with positive thoughts.



Since our thoughts can be consciously controlled, we have a major role to play in controlling the downstream actions that result from those thoughts.

We may not always have a good grasp on controlling our emotions [though we should work on it], we can always take the reins of our minds.



Scriptural Support



Philippians 4:8 – “Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things.”


2 Corinthians 10:5 – “Casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ.”


Colossians 3:2 – “Set your mind on things above, not on things on the earth.”


Proverbs 23:7 – “For as he thinks in his heart, so is he.”



These are the foundational passages that teach us that we are what we think, that our thoughts influence who we are and what we do, and that we have a responsibility to control our thinking.



I. Thoughts Are The Seeds




A. Seeds


We plant seeds in the mind just like farmers plant seeds in the fields.

They will only harvest the crops they plant.

If they plant corn, they will reap corn.
If they plant tomatoes, they will only reap tomatoes and so on.



Even so, we will only reap the fruits of the thoughts we purposefully sow.

Sometimes we reap more thoughts, but eventually we reap actions.



If we want to reap positive thoughts and actions later, we have to deliberately sow positive thoughts now.

Start when it’s inconvenient.

Start planting seeds when you don’t want to.

Identify the thoughts you want to have and start deliberately thinking about them over and over until it becomes natural.

Plant high quality seeds if you want to reap high quality fruits.



B. The Power of Thoughts


Our thoughts will eventually grow and develop into our actions.

Just like seeds will eventually grow into their full form.

If we don’t want to reap negative thoughts and actions later, we have to control our thoughts when they are small seeds.




II. The Mind Connection




A. Conscious Control



What goes into the mind can be consciously controlled.

We control it by maintaining a constant and steady awareness or what we are thinking.

We start by just observing our thoughts.


Sometimes just by observing our thoughts will help them become more disciplined.



We must mindful of the thoughts we entertain. Whatever thoughts stay in the mind takes root and have time to grow.

Once a thought is grown, it is much more difficult to remove.

B. Developing Positive Thoughts


Take time to consciously plant positive thoughts in your mind.

You may find yourself thinking “I wish I wouldn’t naturally think X”, or “I want my mind to be like Y”.

You can mold your mind so that it thinks the thoughts you want automatically.

This takes a long time, but it can be done.

Identify all the different thoughts you want to have.

Write them all down.

Then take a dedicated amount of time each day, even 5-10 minutes is enough to meditate on those thoughts.

Think those thoughts over and over.

Visualize instances in which you want these thoughts to naturally arise, and see yourself thinking these thoughts in the situation.

Practice having good thoughts in peace so you increase the likelihood of having them during stress.



C. Weeding Out Negative Thoughts

In a similar way, we have to eliminate negative thoughts – especially the ones that arise automatically. The same way we practice introducing positive thoughts,we have to practice eliminating negative thoughts.

This starts with identifying those negative thoughts, specially the ones that seem to repeat over and over.

The problem with these thoughts is that they arise automatically before we are aware of them.

And before we can control them, they have spiraled out of control and damaged our attitude.

First, we identify the reoccurring negative thoughts. Once they are all written down we have to come up with an alternative thought for each one. This new alternative thought will be the one we use to replace the negative thought.

Next we have to increase awareness of our thoughts and identify the negative thoughts as soon as they surface.


III – Intentional Thought Control




We have to be intentional about the thoughts we allow into our minds.


Consistency and Repetition:

We have to be consistent with their practice for it to have any lasting or outsized effects on our life.

Our automatic thoughts are so deeply embedded in the way we think that it will take an extended period of time to change.

To change thoughts is to change entire habits and patterns of thinking.

The Key, then, is to stick with change until the change sticks.

Only then can we rep the benefits of our thoughts instead of suffering the consequences of negative thinking.

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