You Don’t Have to Miss Being with the Church



The Separation of Emotion and Obedience



There’s a pervasive assumption within Christian circles that in order to faithfully serve God and fulfill His commands, you must feel a longing for fellowship, for worship, or for obedience.

Many of us grow up being taught and thinking that a lack of emotional drive signals a deficiency in our faith, and that God expects not only our actions but also our emotions to align perfectly with what we are doing.



However, the Bible does not support this notion.

While emotions can be a helpful companion to our actions, they are not a prerequisite for faithfulness.

The Bible commands the right attitudes and right actionsnot the right emotions.

God commands us to be obedient, regardless of how we feel at the moment.



What matters most is what you do, not how you feel about doing it.

You don’t have to long to be with your brethren, nor do you have to emotionally connect with every aspect of Christian living in order to do what’s right.



Attitude vs. Emotion: What the Bible Actually Commands

First, we must understand the distinction between attitude and emotion. They are not the same thing.

Emotions are usually involuntary and spontaneous reactions to our circumstances [though you can learn to control them to an extent], attitudes are deliberate mindsets and decisions we make about how we think and act.



God commands attitudes, but nowhere in Scripture are we commanded to feel specific emotions.

If you think you find a command in scripture to feel a certain way, look closer and make sure it’s not about cultivating an appropriate mindset – more often than not this will be the case.




For example:

Philippians 2:5 (NKJV):Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus.

• The command is clear: Let this mind — a specific way of thinking and attitude.

This passage doesn’t command us to feel something, but to manually develop a specific mindset modeled after Christ.

John 14:15 (NKJV):If you love Me, keep My commandments.

• This isn’t about feeling an emotional surge of love. It’s about obedience.



Loving Christ means acting in accordance with His will, not necessarily feeling a particular way.



You prove that you love Christ by doing what He says, not by feeling a specific way.

1 Peter 1:13 (NKJV):Therefore gird up the loins of your mind, be sober, and rest your hope fully upon the grace that is to be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ.”

• The command here is to prepare your mind — an actionable decision to focus on godly thinking, not an emotional feeling.



These verses reveal an underlying them of the Bible – that God is much more concerned with what we do and how we think than what we feel.

Attitude and obedience matter; emotions, while they may be present, are secondary and not commanded.



Obedience Is Not Dependent on Feeling

The clearest biblical example of the separation between obedience and emotion is Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane.

In Matthew 26:39 (NKJV), Jesus prays, “O My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from Me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as You will.”

Here, Jesus feels horrible negative emotions – dread, anxiety, fear, anguish – emotions that are entirely human, but He chooses to obey regardless of those emotions.



His feelings did not determine His course of action.

This is a key point. Emotions do not negate the responsibility to obey.

God never requires us to feel like obeying; He simply requires that we do it.

Similarly, you don’t need to feel an emotional longing to be with your brethren or to serve in worship.

The absence of such feelings doesn’t disqualify your faithfulness.

The Bible is concerned with doing the right things with the right mindset.



Longing for the Church: A Command or a Choice?

Many cite examples from Paul, who often expressed a longing for his fellow Christians.

Take, for instance, Philippians 1:8 (NKJV):For God is my witness, how greatly I long for you all with the affection of Jesus Christ.



However, Paul’s expression of emotion here is descriptive, not prescriptive.

He isn’t commanding all Christians to feel the same longing he does.

His emotional attachment to the brethren reflects his personal experience, but nowhere does the New Testament demand that we feel the same.

We are commanded to love one another, but biblical love is action—it’s serving, supporting, and obeying God’s commands to benefit others.



The Command to Love Is a Command to Act


In John 13:34 (NKJV), Jesus says, “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another.”

Here, love is commanded, but love in biblical terms is not defined by emotional attachment.

Biblical love is seen in action—in serving, in humility, in sacrifice.

This idea is supported by 1 John 3:18 (NKJV):My little children, let us not love in word or in tongue, but in deed and in truth.”

Love, in this context, is about what you do, not what you feel.

If you obey God’s command to love by serving your brethren, you are fulfilling His command, whether or not you feel a surge of emotional longing to be with them.



Potential Counterpoints and Rebuttals

1. Joy and Rejoicing Are Commanded

Some might point to verses like Philippians 4:4 (NKJV):Rejoice in the Lord always. Again I will say, rejoice!” and claim that this commands an emotion—joy.

However, the command to rejoice can be understood as an attitude of deliberate focus on spiritual blessings, not an emotion that arises spontaneously.

This is further clarified in 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 (NKJV):Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.

The focus here is on adopting a grateful mindset and keeping a focus on God, regardless of circumstances.

Rejoicing and being joyful are descriptors of mindset, not emotion.



2. Godly Sorrow for Sin

Others may point to 2 Corinthians 7:10 (NKJV):For godly sorrow produces repentance leading to salvation, not to be regretted; but the sorrow of the world produces death.

This highlights that sorrow can have a place in repentance.

However, godly sorrow isn’t necessarily an overwhelming emotional experience.

It’s an awareness of sin, a change of mind, and a decision to turn away from sin.

While emotion can be involved, the act of repentance is about changing behavior, not being overtaken by feelings.

Though in practice, I find it much easier to experience godly sorrow than to experience positive emotions.

If you concentrate your mind on what sin cost the Godhead, what it cost Christ on the cross, it often leads to negative sensations that generate repentance.

The key, again, in this passage is about the repentance.

We can hav godly sorrow all day long, but if we aren’t repenting – chancing our actions – it means nothing.



Attitude and Action Are Enough

In the end, you don’t have to feel an emotional longing to be with your brethren to obey God’s command to gather together. That’s just Pharisaical teaching in the modern world.

The Bible emphasizes obedience and right attitude—those are within our immediate control.

We as Christians are expected to act with the right mindset, to serve with intention, and to do what God commands, regardless of how we feel.

Emotions may follow, but they are not a requirement for faithfulness.

You don’t need to feel a surge of desire to attend worship or serve.

What matters is doing it with the proper attitude of reverence and submission to God.

God is more concerned with what you do and how you think than how you feel.

Conclusion

The idea that emotions are essential to obedience is simply not biblical.

God commands right action and right attitude, not emotional experiences.

You don’t have to feel an emotional longing to serve God, be with your brethren, or worship.

What matters is that you do these things, with the right mindset, regardless of how you feel.

Conduct yourselves like men.

Obey God’s commands, focus your mind on what is right, and let your actions speak louder than any fleeting emotion.

The Long-Term Effects of Sin



Sin is not merely a theological concept; it has tangible, long-lasting consequences that ripple through our lives and the lives of those around us.

Adultery is one of the most prominent examples.

But there are plenty of sins that cause devastating outcomes in people’s lives, both personally and communally.

When God commands us to stay away from sin, it’s not so He can burden us with arbitrary law.

His law is for our own protection – protecting us from the long-term consequences of sin.




The Ripple Effect of Sin

Sin doesn’t stop once the sin is committed.

Sin is an action that has a ripple effect.

It spreads and it grows.




Consider the sin of dishonesty.

A man who lies to protect his reputation may weave for himself a web of deceit.

Initially, he may feel a fleeting sense of relief that he protected his reputation, but over time, the burden of maintaining that lie becomes unbearable.

Relationships suffer; trust erodes.

Once he is discovered, friends and family begin to see him as untrustworthy, leading to isolation and loneliness.

The long-term consequence?

A life devoid of meaningful connections and a reputation destroyed.

What started as a small sin had long-lasting, painful consequences.





Another example is drug abuse.

What begins as a casual indulgence often spirals into addiction, affecting not only the individual but also their loved ones.

Families are torn apart, careers are jeopardized, and health deteriorates.

The initial thrill of escape gives way to despair and chaos, leaving behind a wake of destruction that can take years to mend if it doesn’t end with the drug user in the graveyard.



Real-Life Consequences of Sin

Take the generic story of the successful businessman who succumbs to greed.

He began cutting corners, prioritizing profit over ethics.

Initially, his company flourished, and he enjoyed massive profits.

However, when the truth emerged—his fraudulent practices were exposed—he losses everything: his business, his reputation, and ultimately his family.

The long-term effects of his choices were catastrophic, illustrating how sin can lead to ruin.




Visualizing Consequences: A Tool for Spiritual Growth

Understanding the practical consequences of sin is crucial for spiritual development.

One effective exercise is to visualize the potential outcomes of your actions before you engage in them. This requires foresight—a skill that can be honed with practice.




Exercise: 

  1. Before making a decision that could lead to sin—whether it’s indulging in gossip or succumbing to temptation—take a moment to pause.
  2. Close your eyes and envision the aftermath.
  3. Picture how you would feel after committing the act: the guilt, the shame, the potential fallout on your relationships and your spiritual health.




Ask yourself:

Will this decision bring me closer to God or further away?
What will my life look like in six months if I choose this path?

This mental exercise not only cultivates self-awareness but also reinforces your commitment to living a life aligned with your values.



Social Pressures And Staying True to Your Values

Moral ambiguity reigns supreme in the modern world, which makes maintaining personal convictions an uphill battle.

Society worships behaviors that contradict biblical teachings, leading many to feel pressured to conform.

Consider the young professional who finds herself in an environment where gossip is rampant.

She knows it’s wrong but fears being cast out of the group if she doesn’t participate.

This pressure can lead her down a path she never intended to take—compromising her integrity for acceptance.

Many Christians make this very error.

To navigate these challenges successfully, it’s essential to establish a strong foundation rooted in your values.

Surround yourself with like-minded individuals who encourage you to uphold your beliefs rather than compromise them for social acceptance.




Practical Steps:

  1. Identify Your Values: Take time to reflect on what truly matters to you spiritually and morally.
  2. Seek Support: Build relationships with individuals who share your convictions; they will provide encouragement when faced with temptation.
  3. Practice Assertiveness: When confronted with social pressures, learn to assertively express your stance without fear or apology.



Conclusion: The Weight of Choices

The long-term effects of sin extend far beyond immediate gratification; they shape our lives in profound ways that can lead us toward destruction or growth.

We have to understand these consequences, visualizing potential outcomes, and navigating social pressures with conviction, we empower ourselves to make choices that align with our faith.

Understand: every decision carries weight—choose wisely. In doing so, we not safeguard our spiritual well-being and also contribute positively to our communities and relationships.

Be wary of the long-term consequences of sin.

The Pursuit of Wealth [Proverbs 23:4]

Do not overwork to be rich;
Because of your own understanding, cease!



Proverbs often talk about money and man’s relationship to it.

Proverbs 23:4 talk about the foolishness of the relentless pursuit of wealth at the expense of everything else in life.

Solomon warns against the obsession with riches, teaching us that at the root of understanding is the knowledge that overworking for riches is no optimal.

overwork


Recognize the Futility of Greed


The pursuit of wealth can easily become an all-consuming endeavor. It can become an idol in the heart.

Solomon’s instruction to “labor not to be rich” teaches us not allow the desire for money to dominate our lives.

Wealth can provide comfort, and it is a valuable tool, but it should not be our ultimate goal.

Understanding this distinction is crucial for maintaining a accurate perspective on life.


Focus on Valuable Goals


Instead of fixating on accumulating wealth, redirect your energy toward pursuits that bring lasting value.

Maybe it’s investing in relationships, personal growth, or service.


The Dangers of Overworking


Solomon’s warning also highlights the dangers of overworking in the relentless chase for financial gain.

While hard work can be honorable, it should not come at the expense of your health, relationships, or spiritual well-being.


Practice Generosity


One of the most effective antidotes to the greed that Solomon warns against is generosity.

By sharing our resources with others, we shift our focus from accumulation to service.

If we recognize the futility of greed, focus on goals, trust in God’s provision, and practice generosity, we can lead improved lives, represent the faith, and live honorably.

Dining with The Powerful [Proverbs 23:1-3]

1When you sit down to eat with a ruler,
Consider carefully what is before you;
2And put a knife to your throat
If you are a man given to appetite.
3Do not desire his delicacies,
For they are deceptive food.

Proverbs 23:1-3 outlines unique circumstances – the rare instances when you may be invited to eat with someone powerful.

When we recall the context of many of these proverbs, this makes sense, as Solomon was writing to his son, who would have been a prince, and would have had numerous opportunities to eat with other rulers.

If we ever find ourselves in similar circumstances, the rules still apply.

dining


When you are invited to dine with a ruler or prominent figure, be mindful of your conduct and avoid any missteps that could jeopardize your standing.

Solomon advises in Proverbs 23:1-3 to consider carefully what is set before you and govern your appetite accordingly.

Don’t go crazy and make a fool of yourself because you are excited to be dining with the prestigious.

Recognize The Power of the Host


Your host, being a ruler or person of power, is not your equal.

Considering the context of the historical time in which this Proverb was written, if the ruler was offended, he had the power and means to harm the person causing the offense.

And in some parts of the world this still happens.

Treat the ruler with the respect and deference his position demands.

Avoid any behavior that could be seen as presumptuous or disrespectful.


Discipline Your Appetite


It’s easy to overindulge when presented with a spread of incredible foods that you’ve never been able to experience before.

However, Solomon illustrates the principle of self-discipline by putting a metaphorical knife to your throat to curb your desires.

Enjoy the meal, but do so in moderation.
Keep your wits about you.
Excess can lead to saying or doing things you’ll regret.

Be wise in public.

That’s the essence of this Proverb.

Beware of Deceptive Foods


The rich foods set before you may be tempting, but they are described as “deceitful meat“.

Outwardly appealing, they can inwardly harm you if consumed without discretion.

Drunkenness, gluttony and the loss of self-control are dangers.

These vices result from a lack of discipline at the basic level.



Prioritize your host’s good opinion over momentary pleasure.

Choose a good name rather than riches – in this case, caloric riches.


Maintain Your Integrity


When you are eating with authority figures, you represent yourself and potentially others.

Manage yourself with self-discipline.

Maintain a good reputation with your host – don’t jeopardize it through lack of discipline.

Enjoy the meal, but keep your wits about you.

Wisdom and self-control are essential when you are invited to eat with people of power.

Proverbs 12:1-2



Proverbs 24:1-2 explains a a key aspect of human behavior—envy—and offers practical wisdom identifying its dangers and contrasts it with the path of righteousness.

Because it’s not just that we envy people. sometimes we envy them for the wrong things.

Envy itself is wrong.

But layer on top of envy the fact that we are envious of evil, and we have have a serious problem.

Proverbs 24:1-2 (NKJV)

1 “Do not be envious of evil men, Nor desire to be with them;
2 For their heart devises violence, And their lips talk of troublemaking.



Warning Against Envy


This passage teaches a fundamental principle: the worthlessness of envying sinners and longing for their seemingly carefree and prosperous lives.



It’s a reminder to resist the temptation of abandoning our religious and moral principles merely for the allure of worldly pleasures.

We will always want to improve things and for life to be better, but when we start to believe the way to get to that better life is through sin, we are treading a Dangerous road.



Those thoughts will eventually produce action.

The envy of the sinful life leads to resentment towards a moral life and increased desire to life the life of the world.

This in turn makes it much more difficult to follow the commands of God, because now our motivations are working against us.

envy


Reasons for Caution


Envy is not merely a harmless emotion; it carries deep risks:

  • Sinners’ paths lead to destruction, not just for them, but for everyone around them.
  • Their minds hold intentions that are evil and lustful, this is shown by their speech filled with evil and their plans to do wrong – as the Proverb teaches.
  • Despite any sensation of success or happiness, their actions and intentions will inevitably lead to their downfall.



Wisdom in Disassociation


The practical teaching of the Proverb is to separate ourselves from the ways and speech of the wicked.



Get away from negative influence.

This theme is repeated over and over again through the biblical narrative.

We have to recognize the harmful nature of this envious behavior so we can safeguard ourselves from dishonor, harm, and a life of sin.

This disassociation is not about judgment but about protecting our moral integrity and upholding righteousness.



Righteous Anger


Rather than envy, righteous anger towards the sin of the wicked should be the attitude we employ to help resist sin.

Note that we focus our anger on the behavior – the sin itself.

The lessons from Proverbs 24:1-2 is even more profound in the digital age.

The digital age exposes us to images of success and happiness, and create envy all around.

The business model of social media is built on envy and emotionalism.

But the Proverb writer reminds us to focus on a life of righteousness, steering clear of envy-induced nonsense.



Practical Steps:

  1. Contemplation: Take time to introspect and identify the roots of envy or unrighteous, non-productive comparison in your mind.
  2. Thankfulness: Cultivate a habit of gratitude to appreciate your blessings and reduce envy.
  3. Anger Response: When confronted with envy, choose to respond with righteous anger towards sin or with a calm understanding rather than resentment.
  4. Curate Your Influences: Be mindful of the media and social circles that may fuel feelings of envy and work to surround yourself with positive influences.
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