Included at the bottom of this page is the protocol for dealing with three types of hypocritical Christians.
“Better is open rebuke than hidden love.”
Proverbs 27:5
“As for those who persist in sin, rebuke them in the presence of all, so that the rest may stand in fear.”
1 Timothy 5:20
“The rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother.”
Proverbs 29:15
“Do not reprove a scoffer, or he will hate you; reprove a wise man, and he will love you. Give instruction to a wise man, and he will be still wiser; teach a righteous man, and he will increase in learning.”
Proverbs 9:8-9
“Those whom I love, I reprove and discipline, so be zealous and repent.”
Revelation 3:19
Three problems have arisen because of the ways people interpret the teaching of Jesus about hypocrisy.
One
No one corrects anyone in the Church because they are afraid of being hypocritical, thinking that they themselves must first be perfect before they can criticize anyone else.
Two
Individuals have acquired the classic “You cannot judge me” attitude, and assume that everyone has some form of hypocritical trait which prevents them from passing any judgment.
Three
People think that they have no beams at all and are therefore free to criticize and rebuke anyone they want.
Let’s break down each of these reasons.
1 – The fear of rebuking and criticizing hypocritical brethren has been a longstanding fear in the Church. The results of this became apparent in the last sixty years with the baby boomer generation and the”no spanking” parenting movements.
Congratulations, not disciplining children resulted in the worst generations to exist.
Men must take the offensive position and correct the wrongs they see in others. We do not have to be flawless to point out flaws. The teaching of Christ seems to point at people who are rebuke others for the same sin that they themselves are engaged in. A drunkard rebuking another man for drinking, for instance.
2 – The world has confused the idea of “judge that you be not judged” with the fallacy of “do not judge at all”. We judge people by our very nature, it is not something we can avoid. Humans are constantly making judgements about our fellow-man based first on how he looks, and secondly on how he acts. We do judge other men, and the reality is that we are allowed to do so. The text simply says that the standard we use to judge others will be used to judge us. There is difference between not judging entirely and using a fixed standard to judge which we also apply to ourselves. Are we measuring up to our own scrutiny?
3 – Some individuals have come to think they are perfect. They are hypocritical, stupid and know nothing. This unfortunately tends to be older women first. Older men maintain a close second place followed by middle-aged women and lastly middle aged men. Young men and women who think they are perfect are simply classic narcissists. It is almost impossible to deal with any of these toxic types.
The purpose of the teaching of Christ is to guide us towards being more self-aware of our own behavior.
We need to conduct thorough examinations of ourselves, taking inventory of our character and of where we fall short. Through this we can begin to improve on these weaknesses which improves our character overall. Through years of this focused application and the teaching we may wake to find ourselves significantly improved from our earlier state. Then others come us for advice and guidance on how to improve their own lives and weaknesses.
Correct the self first, then correct others.
Application
Dealing with the Three Types of Hypocritical Church Members
One: People who are afraid to rebuke others want to be liked, and no one likes the man who rebukes others. This is simply human nature. These people must be instructed on how to deliver a rebuke that does not seem like a rebuke.
The difference between a rebuke that a man will take to heart and a criticism that will cause you to be hated by the man is all in the delivery. The delivery must be tailored to the personality of the person you are speaking to.
Aggressive, egotistical types need an aggressive criticism, because they understand that type of power.
They must be withstood to the face as Paul addressed Peter in front of the whole Church. Peter was a strong, extroverted personality type that would respond best to that type of address.
Quiet introverted people need to be taken aside and spoken to quietly.
An open rebuke would do infinitely more harm than good to the introvert. This is seen with the teacher Apollos in Acts 18. Apollos taught boldly, but he only knew the baptism of John. Priscilla and Aquila took him aside and taught him the Way of God more accurately.
While the scripture might seem to indicate that Apollos was a strong personality type (he taught boldly/refuted vigorously the Jews in public) it seems less likely that he would become a “learned man” as an extremely extroverted person.
To become a “very learned” or eloquent man and one who can debate vigorously requires a great deal of time spent alone in study. Lecturers, professors and people who engage in debate tend to actually be introverts much of the time. Therefore, it seems that Apollos was likely an introvert who would respond better to quiet admonition and instruction rather than a public address.
Tailor the delivery of your rebuke/admonition to the personality of the individual you are speaking to and you will have a much greater chance of being heard.
Two
People who think the Text says “you cannot judge me” are narcissists who only see what they want to see in the scriptures. They want to live their own life in the way they desire and still sneak into heaven at the end. This type of individual is usually a young person, as you will rarely heard older people tell you not to judge them.
It is extremely difficult to instruct this type of individual because they are likely the result of lax parenting. The primary way to get your message across to them is to first strengthen your relationship with them. People deal better with criticism when it comes from someone they have a relationship with and when the delivery is properly tailored to their personality type. Open rebuke does little for those individuals, they will just hate you for embarrassing them. Be strategic in your approach.
Three
The classic narcissists who think they are perfect need open rebukes. They have constructed a false self-image that needs to be shattered.
The old need to remember they are not perfect.
Relationship is not necessary here, for these people also think they themselves can criticize others without having a relationship with them. They need to understand their own position and they need to be instructed as to why their criticisms of others are not taken to heart. They are the Medusas who must be shown their own reflection. Give them a taste of what they give out, because they have forgotten what their reflection really looks like.
Some will humble themselves and repent, others will simply find another church that will tolerate their narcissism. In this way you have purged you assembly of these self-absorbed, hypocritical parasites and judged with righteous judgement.
