Men pride themselves on being stoic. Men consider themselves masculine when they can control their emotions and reactions in all settings, public or private. Modern culture is trying to undo this by telling men that “it’s okay to cry” or to “get in touch with your feminine side”. This feminization of men is not a change for the better. Feminization does not help men deal with dark moments.
While it is usually not a good idea to Repress emotion, is is vital for men to Suppress emotion and desire. A man must Suppress his sexual urges in society. A rapist is an example of a man who has stopped attempting to control those urges and gives into them completely. It is important for a man to suppress and redirect his anger and violent thoughts. A murderer is an example of a man who has given up on trying to control or redirect his anger.
Suppression of emotion is not simply important for men, it is vital to the function and survival of society.
Man grows his ability to suppress and control his emotion by experiencing moments of darkness.
For most modern men, the moments of “darkness” are nothing compared what men in the past have dealt with. A man might get stuck in traffic for a few hours and have to spend extra money somewhere and call that moment “dark”. While men of the past charged into storms of lead, staring into the face of death without flinching. Nevertheless, every dark moment is important, not matter how intense or feeble is may seem. Because without the darkness, we can never fully appreciate the light. Without the darkness, we can never improve our ability to control our emotions and thoughts in difficult situations.
The process of becoming more masculine or improving the ability to handle darkness is a process without a final destination, like many of the skills men can build.
Modern culture exclusively thinks in binary, black-or-white terms. This two-sided, simple thinking is not the case in reality. Just as someone who has trained his body for two years is in better shape than someone who has not trained his body at all. And he who has trained for five years is in better shape than he who has trained for two years. So also men become more masculine and stoic on on a gradient scale based on what darkness they deal with and for how long they deal with it.
“Small” moments of darkness improve the man who has not endured many dark moments. But that same small, dark moment may do nothing for the man who has experienced years of darkness and is mentally strong. There are levels of masculinity that can be trained and improved just like men train and improve their physical strength.
When you experience a dark moment, do not be discouraged, for those dark moments are strength training for your mind and emotion.
You improve your mental strength and resilience by enduring those moments that seem to last forever and bring nothing but pain and suffering. You grow your ability to handle greater adversity by handling small adversity. No man should be made fun of because he strains against a small dark moment. Just like no man should be mocked because he just began to train his body and strains to list 50 pounds. You improve by handling yourself in those small situations and by controlling your emotions in the small details of life.
How do you react when you get stuck in traffic for a few hours?
What is your reaction when you lose a little money in the stock market or on a bad purchase?
How do you react when you break something in your house?
These are small details that do not matter all that much in the grand scheme of life. But these are also events that bother the majority of men.
You must improve your ability to handle adversity with strength and power – This is done by elevating your perspective, removing yourself from unnecessary emotion and changing your thinking. This can only be done through practice during small moments of darkness.
Know that without dark moments, we cannot hope to improve as men. Just as a muscle will never increase its strength or endurance until it is pushed beyond the levels of its current ability, so also we will never improve our mental and emotional control unless we experience dark moments that are beyond our current ability to handle.
Darkness is the strength training of the mind.
The next time you experience darkness, do not be discouraged, but be excited because you are now improving your mind.
Conduct yourselves like Men.