Compare and Evaluate Yourself – Improvement

Comparing ourselves to others often does not do much good unless we have the correct mindset about it. This applies especially to women who tend to compare themselves to other women to see how they “measure up” against the standards. For men it tends to be slightly different. When men compare themselves to other men, it is for constructive reasons, and this makes comparison valuable. 

“Not that we dare to classify or compare ourselves with some of those who are commending themselves. But when they measure themselves by one another and compare themselves with one another, they are without understanding.”

2 Corinthians 10:12

“A dispute also arose among them, as to which of them was to be regarded as the greatest. And he said to them, “The kings of the Gentiles exercise lordship over them, and those in authority over them are called benefactors. But not so with you. Rather, let the greatest among you become as the youngest, and the leader as one who serves. For who is the greater, one who reclines at table or one who serves? Is it not the one who reclines at table? But I am among you as the one who serves.”

Luke 22:24-27

“Examine yourselves, to see whether you are in the faith. Test yourselves. Or do you not realize this about yourselves, that Jesus Christ is in you?—unless indeed you fail to meet the test!”

2 Corinthians 13:5

When men compare themselves to other men, they are usually comparing themselves to the best in the world. 

Musicians compare their skill to the best musicians in the world. 

Writers compare their work to the best writers. 

Athletes compare themselves to the best in their favorite sport and so on. 

This comparison is performed so men can see what exactly it is that the professionals are doing in their training so that they cannot imitate them and try to get those results as well. In this way, comparison is highly valuable.

Comparison becomes a detriment when we start judging our self-worth based on how well we stack up compared to the professionals. This is where women tend to go wrong in their intra-gender comparisons, and why social media is such a detriment to their self-esteem. 

Some men realize that they are not as skilled as other men and conclude that they are not valuable.

This is not the way comparison should work. There is only a small minority of men who think in terms of self-worth, and they need to learn to reject this impulse. Comparison and evaluation are tools to help us improve ourselves, not objects of self-punishment that should make us feel worse about who we are. 

It is true that our income is based primarily on our skill level and the demand of the market for that particular skill. But our intrinsic worth is not defined by our skill level. We will not waste time telling you that you are special, because most likely you are not. “Special” is what moms tell their kids they are even if their kids are average at best. Your soul makes you valuable, it does not make you special. Everyone has a soul. Therefore, having one does not make you special.

Even though you are not special, you do have value, and you can improve that over time by gaining practical, marketable skill. 

We improve ourselves by imitating the masters of our chosen craft. We want to play guitar like the greats or play sports like the legendary men, we do not want to learn and train like average performers. Therefore, comparison is necessary in order to take inventory of our weaknesses and progress and to make sure that we are staying on the path of improvement. What comparison should not be is a pity party where we cry because we are not on the same level as other great men. Comparison should be about extrinsic skill, not about intrinsic worth. 

Mantra

Compare, correct, grow. 

Application

Compare your skills to other great men, not your individual value. When you compare yourself to a master of a craft, all you should be doing is evaluating your current skill level based on a reference point. Therefore, eliminate any conflations of skill and self-worth that you may have in your mind. 

Skill does not equal self-worth, though skill does equal marketplace worth. Mentally separate marketplace value from intrinsic value.

You must take a detached, stoic look at where you are currently so you may improve. Learn skills, techniques and mindsets from the professionals. They achieved success in their field based on a specific formula, so you must copy that formula and try it out for yourself. While that formula  may not work for you exactly, you have the option to tweak it slightly and try it again. Change the formula to suit your individual skills and weaknesses. 

First, find a master of the craft that you want to imitate, he can be spiritual or worldly.

As we have mentioned before, you need to have secular role models when it comes to work and career because most men in the church believe they are virtuous for being mediocre in the workplace or in their personal skills. 

Examine everything the master does with extreme focus. If he is a world class guitarist, examine the smallest things such as the angle of his fingers on his right and left hands. How does he hold the pick and transition from string to string? How high above the fretboard do his other fingers rest? How is his posture and leg positioning? What types of breathing patterns does he employ? Does he look at his right or left hand, or is he able to play without looking at the instrument at all? How does he blend skill with emotion? What does he do to control excess string noise? What is his training regimen? These are just a few of the questions you must ask about the master. Dive into the smallest details and master them because those details will add up to make all the difference in the world. 

Once you have answered all the questions you can think of, start applying the knowledge that you have learned one technique at a time.

Test the methods of the master and by doing so you will learn whether his techniques are idiosyncratic or universal. If they are unique to the master, you must adapt the skill into something suited better for you personally. If they are universal, you can transfer those skills directly to yourself. 

Focus on one skill at a time, never try to lump half a dozen skills into one practice session. Maintain focus on the one skill until you have raised it to an acceptable skill level. This is called Periodization of Training. One a skill is mastered, move on to another skill. The accumulation of small masteries will be what makes you great in your chosen field. 

Conduct yourselves like men.