The Bible teaches us to “bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ” (Galatians 6:2). The Bible instructs us to support and lift each other up through the struggles and trials of life, especially as we walk through the narrow path of faith.
Ideally, this is what should happen within the church.
We should be able to confess our sins to one another, offer genuine support, and grow together in our shared struggles.
But in reality, the modern church doesn’t quite work like that anymore.
Instead of support, too often, we face harsh judgment—even from fellow believers.
This brings up a critical point: you have to be very careful who you share your burdens with.
In the modern world of convenience, ease, and superficial connection, especially within the church, it’s far too common to find judgment even when you are confessing sins like the Bible instructs.
And this is a tragedy because it undermines the very thing we are commanded to do—to help each other overcome sin.
Why People Don’t Confess Specific Sins
Consider this: when was the last time you saw someone confess their sin in a church service or a Bible study?
If you pay close attention, you’ll see that most confessions are vague at best.
You’ll hear things like, “I’ve been struggling recently” or “I’ve been a bad example,” but rarely does anyone name their sin specifically. Why?
Because people know that the moment they become specific, the judgment becomes specific.
And specific judgment is far more painful than general judgment.
People have run the numbers in their minds and come to a conclusion: it’s safer to keep their confession vague.
If you confess in broad strokes, you might receive a vague disapproval from others.
But if you name your sin—really name it—you run the risk of being torn apart by the very people who are supposed to help you heal.
Instead of receiving help, people fear they’ll be seen as evil despite the fact that they are in the process of repenting.
This is the sad reality in many churches today. People are so afraid of being judged and criticized by their fellow Christians that they would rather keep their struggles to themselves—or, at best, speak in vague, non-specific terms.
As a result, they miss out on the opportunity for real help and support.
The power of specific confession lies in its ability to connect you with those who have faced the same struggles.
But that connection rarely happens because most people stay hidden in vagueness.
The Church and Unrighteous Judgment
The Bible teaches that we are to judge righteously (John 7:24), yet unrighteous judgment is rampant within the church.
People don’t confess their sins because they know all too well what awaits them—a self-righteous, condescending response that offers more criticism than support.
How tragic is it that within the body of Christ, the very place where we should find forgiveness, we instead find judgment?
Christians fear their own brethren more than they fear the sin they’re struggling with.
And that fear leads to a silence that keeps people bound to their sins.
Confession, which is supposed to bring freedom, is now viewed as a potential death sentence—socially and spiritually.
The Solution: Confide in the Right People
So, what do we do?
Do we abandon confession altogether?
Do we stop bearing one another’s burdens because the risk of judgment is too high?
Absolutely not.
But what we must do is be strategic. You can’t share your deepest struggles with just anyone. You have to be selective about who you confide in.
You need to find people who have struggled with the same sins and have overcome them.
These are the people who will understand what you’re going through and can offer practical advice and spiritual wisdom. They won’t judge you because they’ve been in the same pit themselves.
Confession and accountability are critical parts of the Christian life, but they must be done in ways that allow for people to actually want to confess and follow through with confession.
And sadly, the collective church doesn’t provide the spiritual safety that it should.
We aren’t built for collective confession in this modern era where judgment is more common than spiritual support.
So instead, look for one-on-one opportunities.
Find someone you trust, someone who has struggled as you are struggling, and confide in them privately.
This person may not be the person sitting next to you in the pew. They may not even be in your immediate circle. It may take some effort to find them, but it’s worth it.
These are the people who will help you bear your burdens and fulfill the law of Christ in the way it was intended.
A Practical Solution: Anonymous Confession
One possible solution to this problem is an anonymous system within the church, where people can confess their sins without the fear of judgment.
In this setup, people could take on a pen name and anonymously share their struggles with others who have faced similar sins.
This way, you can connect with people who truly understand what you’re going through, without the fear of being condemned by the broader church body.
Anonymity offers the safety people need to be honest.
Over time, if trust is built, those anonymous relationships could become in-person, private partnerships of accountability.
But even if they remain anonymous, the connection can still provide the support and advice needed to overcome sin.
The goal is to facilitate repentance and transformation, and if anonymity helps that process, it’s worth pursuing.
The End Goal: Genuine Repentance
At the end of the day, the purpose of confession is to repent and change behavior in obedience to God. The church should be a place where people can do that without fear.
But if the church isn’t that place, then we need to find other ways to bear one another’s burdens.
Whether through one-on-one confession or anonymous support, the goal remains the same: to help each other overcome sin and live faithfully.
Unfortunately, in many churches today, the collective body isn’t capable of handling confession the way it should.
We judge too harshly, and we show too little kindness when people actually try to obey the commands of God.
Until that changes, we must be cautious about who we share our struggles with. We must seek out those who will lift us up, not tear us down.
It’s a sad reality that we can’t fully trust the church to bear our burdens, but that doesn’t mean we give up on the biblical command to support one another.
We just need to be wise in how we do it.
Confess to the right people, bear one another’s burdens, and keep your focus on repentance and obedience to God—not on the approval or judgment of men.
Choose Wisely Who You Confide In
The church is supposed to be a place of healing, grace, and restoration. But too often, it becomes a place of judgment and fear.
This reality forces us to be cautious about who we share our struggles with.
Confession is powerful, but only when it’s done in the right context.
Be careful who you confide in.
Look for those who understand your struggles, who have been through the same battles, and who can offer you the help you need to overcome.
And if the church body can’t handle collective confession without judgment, consider alternative ways—like anonymous systems—where people can safely seek the help they need.
In the end, the goal is the same: repentance, obedience, and faithfulness to God.
But to achieve that, we need to bear one another’s burdens without tearing each other apart.
Only then can we truly fulfill the law of Christ.
