I want to share with you some simple tools I am using to become more sociable. One of these tools is active listening.
Active listening is the practice of fully paying attention and engaging with another person when they are speaking. It involves not just hearing the words being said, but also understanding and empathizing with the speaker’s perspective. That involves lifting your perspective from your own mind and trying to look at issues from the perspective of others.
If this is done in a discussion, it does not need to be done for the purpose of being a soft, mushy, spineless individual who stands for nothing. You are not viewing things from multiple perspectives for no reason. You are trying to avoid being one-sided in your thinking. And you are training to be multi-dimensional in your thinking. Active listening is a way to expand your viewpoint to allow you to be more strategic in social situations as well as in your life.
Active listening is an essential skill in any relationship, whether it’s with a friend, family member, colleague, or romantic partner. It helps to build trust, develop a better understanding of issues, and manage conflicts. Here’s how you can improve your active listening skills and put them into practice in your daily life.
What is active listening in practice?
Active listening goes beyond just hearing what someone is saying. It involves actively engaging with the speaker, using verbal and nonverbal cues to show that you are paying attention and interested in what they have to say. This includes things like:
1. Maintaining eye contact
2. Nodding your head
3. Asking clarifying questions.
Some key elements of active listening include:
- Giving the speaker your full attention.
- Avoiding interrupting or talking over the speaker.
- Restating what the speaker is saying to show/check that you understand.
- Asking open-ended questions to encourage the speaker to expand on their thoughts.
- Expressing empathy and trying to see things from the speaker’s perspective.
How to improve your active listening skills
Improving your active listening skills takes time and practice. Here are some ways you can get started and expand on the key elements listed above:
- Pay attention to your body language and nonverbal cues. People will give you much more of their story with their body language. You do not have to read tons of books or take courses to understand this. Use your humanness to communicate with people. Trust your intuition. Look to see if they are comfortable or not. Where are their eyes moving? Make sure you are facing the speaker and maintaining eye contact, as this shows that you are engaged and interested. Avoid crossing your arms or looking at your phone, as this can signal disinterest.
- Practice mindful listening. This means focusing on the speaker and the conversation at hand, rather than letting your mind wander or multitasking. If you find your mind drifting, try taking a deep breath and refocusing on what the speaker is saying.
- Avoid interrupting or talking over the speaker. It’s essential to let the speaker finish their thought before jumping in with your own response. If you do need to ask a question, make sure to do so after the speaker is finished. It is okay to pause after someone finishes speaking. you do not have to jump into a conversation response immediately. Give yourself a few moments to think after the person completes their statement. Not only will you demonstrate that you were listening and not thinking about what you were going to say, but you will calm yourself down if you are anxious and allow yourself time to formulate a complete thought based on the complete thought of the other person.
- Restate what the speaker is saying. This helps to show that you are paying attention and understanding what they are saying. You can do this by repeating back key points or paraphrasing their thoughts in your own words. Then if you misunderstood anything the speaker was saying, you give him/her a chance to clarify and restate their thoughts again so you are both on the same page. You may be discussing or arguing about something, and this tool allows you to argue about the same idea. Many people waste hours fighting because they did not define terms properly or they did not take the time to understand the opponent’s position fully. You do not have to end up agreeing with them, simply understand what they are actually saying instead of what you think they are saying.
- Ask open-ended questions. These types of questions encourage the speaker to expand on their thoughts and ideas, rather than just giving a one-word response. Examples might include “Can you tell me more about that?” or “What do you mean by that?”
- Practice empathy. Try to see things from the speaker’s perspective and put yourself in their shoes. This can help you better understand their thoughts and feelings and respond in an understanding way [“I understand how you must feel”]. Again, you do not have to do this in order to chang your whole outlook and perspective. you are trying to expand your thinking. Understanding the opposite side in a discussion allows you to be a complete thinker with multiple dimensions.
Starting small with improving your active listening skills
Improving your active listening skills doesn’t have to be a daunting task. Here are some small steps you can take to get started:
- Practice active listening in daily conversations. Whether it’s with a colleague at work or a friend at a coffee shop, take the opportunity to fully engage with the person you are speaking with.
- Make a conscious effort to put away distractions. This might mean silencing your phone, closing your laptop, or stepping away from the TV.
- Set aside dedicated time for conversations. If you know you’ll be having a difficult or important conversation, make sure you have enough time to fully engage with the speaker.
- Take breaks to process what you’ve heard. If you’re having a long or complex conversation, it’s okay to take a break to process what you’ve heard and gather your thoughts.
Practical ways to use active listening in real life
Active listening is a skill that can be applied in a variety of different settings, from personal relationships to professional ones. Here are a few practical ways you can use active listening in your daily life:
- In personal relationships: Active listening is essential for building strong, healthy relationships with loved ones. It can help you better understand and support your partner, friend, or family member, and can also help to resolve conflicts and miscommunications.
- In professional settings: Active listening is an important skill in the workplace, as it helps to build trust and understanding with colleagues and clients. It can also improve your ability to collaborate and work effectively as a team. It can also help you navigate the workplace and manage power dynamics with skill.
- In conflict management: Active listening can be a valuable tool for resolving conflicts and misunderstandings. By fully paying attention and trying to understand the other person’s perspective, you can more effectively address and resolve issues.
Conclusion
Active listening is a valuable skill that can improve your relationships, manage conflicts, and enhance your professional and personal interactions. You can build trust, foster understanding, and create more meaningful connections by fully engaging with and understanding the speaker. Whether you’re just starting out or looking to fine-tune your active listening skills, the above tips and techniques can help you get started
