Adultery: Ignored in Christianity?

“He who commits adultery lacks sense; he who does it destroys himself.”

Proverbs 6:32

“You shall not commit adultery.”

Exodus 20:14

The Modern Church is almost to the point of ignoring the tremendous evil of adultery. If you find a Church liberal enough, you can maintain your adulterous relationship and still feign “Christianity” while clapping along to “Light the Fire”. I call these the “Adulterer’s Haven Churches”.

The man who cheats on his wife answers many questions about his individual character. He has shown that he has no integrity. He has behaved like a savage. 

Adultery is not the way of Men, it is the way of impassioned boys who have no control over their penises and accompanying passions. 

Here is a philosophy about adultery you will not hear about in many places: If you cheat on your wife, you don’t have the right to tell her. No, you do not deserve to tell her.

Answer me this: why would you confess to her what you have done? Don’t use the common lie of “it’s the right thing to do”; it isn’t.

If you tell your wife what you have done, all you are doing is alleviating yourself of the guilt you feel inside, and simultaneously breaking the heart of your wife.

You would only confess to get rid of the guilty feelings inside, making that “confession” and completely selfish maneuver. You don’t deserve to tell her, you deserve to go to the grave carrying your guilt alone. 

Do not commit adultery. It was a simple command. The sexual needs of man have been manipulated by the world to create many great evils, adultery being one of them. We cannot sit around and pretend that having multiple sex partners is not a temptation, because it is. This is another problem with the classic teachings you hear from people. They pretend that being chaste is  desirable, yet give no real, living reasons why chastity is good. Their own lives don’t represent the benefits of chastity, therefore no one will care what their mouth has to say about chastity. Who wants to listen to the miserable married guy who has sex once a year talk about the benefits of chaste conduct?

You must be a man and learn to redirect these sexual desires. We’ve talked about it before: convert all negative emotions into constructive endeavors. You must do this in order to survive the onslaught of temptation in the world.

Mantra

Keep your penis in your pants.

Application

This is simple, do not commit adultery. Yet every time we are commanded to do something, we instantly want to break the rule. This is human nature and the tendency for free will to move towards evil. As with all evil, adultery begins with thoughts of the mind. Thoughts become reality if given enough time to develop. “Desire when it has conceived brings forth sin” (James 1:15). 

You have to win this fight early. You must give no mental ground to the Devil. The second an evil thought enters the mind, you must crush it instantly, and then redirect your mind to some other kind of work. These thoughts have no place in your mind. 

You cannot be friends with other women.

I know this is an extreme stance to take and many will disagree with me. It can be difficult to accept this, and it is okay if you choose to ignore it. Just know that in this case, I am an extremist. And when it comes to sexuality, extremism is the high ground, and it is the safest path. 

Friendship can become sexual in an instant, especially if you have been in a prior relationship for some time and the fire has died down. The new person seems extra funny and exciting. You start to think she is more than just a friend, that she is interested sexually. You start noticing her body more. The slide down the slippery slope begins. Eventually you are thinking about and visualizing having sex with her. At this point you have gone too far (Matt 5:28). 

The reason Christ tells us not to think about having sex with women is because He knows that “Thoughts Become Things”.

Thought becomes action. Action becomes a habit. Christ the neuroscientist knew that we cannot tell the difference between imagining sex and actually having sex.

You cannot even get to this point in your relationships with women. Do not be alone with women. I would urge you to consider avoiding all contact outside of evangelism. Be honest with yourself, look in the mirror and you will know why you interact with women. Very few men talk to women unless they have an angle. 

You have to understand yourself as a man. Your sex drive will get you into a massive amount of trouble if you are not extreme about controlling it. 

I am a lover of freedom, but the way I govern my body should resemble a totalitarian dictatorship. You must declare martial law on your body. You must rule your body and mind with an iron fist.

Be a man; Do not have sex with someone who is not your wife. 

Conduct Yourselves like Men.