Author

“God is Calling Me” – No, He Probably Isn’t

I – Thesis statement

Many people claim the following, “God is calling me to do this,” but the subjective nature of interpreting emotions resulting from prayer leaves them open to total deception because they do not have empirical evidence for who or what is “calling” them or what “calling” actually means.

What even is “calling”? I think it’s simply a desire to do something that people try to justify with vague divine approval.

“God’s calling me to major in Liberal Arts” – no, you want to major in Liberal Arts because it’s not as objectively difficult as physics and you want an easy degree.

II. Understanding the Phenomenon

Who makes this statement?

People who are looking to justify a choice or course of action [usually that they have already made up their minds about before God ever “called” them] by linking that action to divine approval.

It is a good way to immunize oneself to the majority of pushback or argumentation. Because who is going to come up to them and say “God’s not calling you”? It’s an unassailable position. To attack their decision is to attack the calling of God.

What do they mean when they say “God is calling me”?

They usually mean that they feel some sort of internal emotional push to take some action. They have no objective, empirical evidence of God’s calling [and they almost certainly can never support their claim through scripture], but nonetheless, because they felt the warm-and-fuzzies in their little hearts, they assume it’s God.

What do they truly mean?

When people make a statement like “God is calling me”, they mean that they decided what they wanted to do and are looking for external validation that cannot be questioned or opposed.

“I came to this decision after a lot of prayer and study” is another statement often used. And for most people, this is not true – they come to a decision first, and then try to validate that pre-made decision through “prayer and study“.

“God is calling me” is mere emotionalism in 98% of cases.

The claim that a person is being singled out by God in order to do something is silly. The only way God speaks to anyone in this modern day is through the scripture. No one is getting a special message. There is not a man alive receiving a new revelation of any kind.

Therefore, unless a position is rooted in scripture, it cannot objectively be said to come from the mind of God.

And that is the case with these statements. They cannot objectively be said to have originated with God.

But the average religious person doesn’t let a lack of empirical evidence stop them from having their opinion!

And understand, unless one is engaging in tactical prayer, the ability to definitely know God’s answer is reduced. Therefore most people are left with their own subjective interpretations of God’s answer to their prayer.

“God, should I take this job or not?” After this question, they wait but hear no answer. Then they feel some kind of emotional feeling telling them “Yes, you should take the job”. And from that they assume “That must have been God”. But the reality is they engaged in a subjective interpretation of a prayer they offered.

That is an example of a personal bias affecting the interpretation of prayer. The person already knew they wanted to take the job. They had the desire ahead of time [“I wanted to do this anyways, so lemme just slap a ‘God is calling me’ on there to justify it”].

If you want to know how to ask a specific prayer and know without a doubt if it was answered, look no further than the example in Genesis 24.

III. The Subconscious Mind at Work

A. Much of what we learn and think goes below the surface of our minds into the unconscious areas. Much of our behavior is automatic – we call this habit. So during prayer, it may be that we already have a thought or a desire that we want to have fulfilled and it dives below the surface of our mind.

During or after prayer, when we ask God to “tell us what to do”, emotions bubble up. But these emotions are not from God, they are the results of thoughts and desires that already exist in the recesses of the mind – and they are the perfect tool for an individual to justify his own decision to himself.

But note that in that example, there was no interference or action from God. All of it happened within the mind of the individual. But he will be more than happy to attribute it to God because that “Locks the decision down” and “God agrees with me” – who is going to argue with God? Especially when He is agreeing with me!

Avoid letting personal desires, wants, fears or motivations influence the interpretation of prayer. There is nothing tactical or objective about that behavior.

IV. The Temptations of the Devil

Most Christians understand that one possible source of temptation is the Devil. Most people are not tempted by the devil, they are tempted by their own desires [James 1:13-15].

Understand that one of the best tools the devil has in his arsenal is our own personal desires. He does not have to waste time directly tempting each one of us. He has set up “investments” of sorts within most people that allow those people to continually sin because they are at war with desires and often lose.

The Devil can, directly or indirectly, tempt people using the tool of desires and wants.

So tell me, based on that information, if you cannot prove objectively that God is the one calling you, then how do you know that “calling” is not the devil?

And the answer is that most people will never know. They do not know if God or the devil is talking to them. That is the severe downside of lacking objective measures when speaking about what God is or is not calling one to do.

And because of the subjective nature of the interpretation of prayer for most people, the Adversary can exploit this and turn it to his advantage.

If some desires come from the devil, and you make a decision based on some of those desires that you mistake for “God’s answer” to your prayer, you mistake God’s calling for “The Devil’s Calling” and you lack any objective way to distinguish between the two.

And some may try to argue that “Well God’s calling me to be a preacher/minister! How can you say that is from the devil?” I happen to know that the devil can turn anything to his advantage. He may be more than happy for you to be a minister because now you will be in the perfect position to cause division in a church, fragment it, alienate people, cause a lack of growth in the church, or a plethora of other options. To severely damage the spiritual growth of a church, the devil just needs weak people in leadership positions.

1 John 4:1 – “Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits, whether they are of God; because many false prophets have gone out into the world”.

V. Lack of Concrete Evidence

As we continue to mention, confusing God’s calling with personal emotions is the key way that people become confused about what God is or is not calling someone to do. It’s confusing because for most people, “God’s calling” lacks concrete evidence. You may say “Well, there is never any way to know for certain what God’s answer is”, but I think that is also untrue. Go back and look at the example in Genesis 24 – that is a highly specific prayer. It guarantees that there will be no confusion about the answer due to its specificity.

The problem is most people do not want to pray this way because it means you will know for certain what the answer to the prayer is. It crystalizes God’s answer, making it perfectly clear. If you pray in a specific manner, then you know what “No” looks like. And that is scary. We would rather keep it vague so we can try to interpret the answer to prayer based on our emotions.

Therefore, prayer has to be approached specifically, with critical thought, and then we need to analyze what we believe is the response to the prayer by cross-referencing the Word of God.

Why is that important?

Because if “God is calling me to do something”, and that ‘something’ goes against the teachings of the Bible, I can quite effectively rule out God as the source of my answered prayer and information.

God will never call an individual to sin.

For example, God doesn’t call people to leave their spouse for any reason other than that which is authorized in Matt 19.

If a biblical position cannot be backed up with scripture, it is likely an incorrect position.

By mistaking internal thoughts, feelings, and desires for God’s word, you get the Catholic Pope initiating the Crusades. That wasn’t a win for the “God is calling me” team. Nor was it a win for Christianity as a whole, because people still love to point that out as a “horrible thing Christians did in the name of God [even though the Pope and catholicism shouldn’t be confused with Christianity – they are different]. God did not initiate the Crusades – it was the choice of a flawed man.

VI. NKJV Bible Verses as Cautionary Guidance

Ephesians 5:15-17 ~ “See then that you walk circumspectly, not as fools but as wise, redeeming the time, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be unwise, but understand what the will of the Lord is”.

The Bible is a book encouraging discernment among people. Random decisions and choices made on emotional bases are not wise. Most people approach God, approach His word, and pray without discernment of what the will of God is. God’s will is clearly outlined in scripture, and He has one main objective: “not willing that any should perish but that all should come to repentance” [2 Peter 3:9]. All of His actions, His complete will converges on this very statement.

And therefore, objective measures and rational discernment are required rather than internal emotional sensations when attempting to understand the will of God.

Beyond Motivation: Bridging the Gap between Intentions and Action

Have you ever felt motivated but didn’t actually take action? I can give you an example of this kind of motivation right now.

Have you ever been very motivated at 7:00 PM for all the great changes you were going to make in your life….tomorrow?

How is it that we can be so very motivated at night, and then that motivation evaporates in the morning? We never end up taking action at night, because we are too excited about all the great action we will engage in tomorrow.

“Yeah tomorrow I’m gonna wake up at 5:00 am, workout, eat, start writing my book, and finally get my life together!”
Average Guy

But tomorrow comes, that motivation has already faded into the night, and we are left with the same habits we had before. Only now there is nothing pushing us on to take action. So we fall into laziness and do nothing.

The point of that analogy is simple: to illustrate that it is possible to feel motivated, but not act, which is essentially a massive waste.

A. The Limitation of Motivation

Motivation is not enough to achieve the goals you want. Because it is an emotion, and like any other emotion, it fluctuates constantly. Additionally, as an emotion, it serves to propel you toward action. Therefore, emotions without subsequent actions are meaningless. They are empty. They represent a violation of the individual’s responsibility to use emotions properly for a constructive endeavor.

II. Recognizing the Illusion of Motivation

A. The Illusion of Productivity

If you let the emotion of motivation get the better of you, it can feel like you accomplished something when in fact you accomplished nothing. You feel good before you actually get started working! You get the sensation that you are working effortlessly towards a goal. But the problem is that you are getting nowhere. You are just basking in the sensation of motivation.

Many Christians do the same thing. They bask in their emotional experiences without actually using those em emotions for something productive. Or they make the critical error of believing that the quality of their faith is somehow reflected by the quality of their emotions. So in chasing non-stop positive emotions, they miss many key elements of truth in scripture.

Constantly being able to feel a sense of motivation without acting actually leads us to complacency. Because we enjoy the feeling of motivation instead of acting, and we do this day after day after day. Every night we get motivated and fired up, and every morning we fail to follow through. Some might think of this as progress, as “getting the mind ready for change”, but it is the equivalent of spinning our wheels.

B. The Opportunity Cost of Motivation

Motivation actually exists as an opportunity cost. While we could be spending our time actually making progress towards our goals, instead we are spending time just feeling motivated. We are basking in the feeling without any forward movement. This comes at a cost. Actionaless motivation is not free. We are missing out on time to actually make meaningful progress towards goals that matter to us. This is the opportunity cost of motivation. [And this is the opportunity cost of marriage].

Many are aware of the laws of motion, that an object at rest stays at rest until acted upon by an outside force. Well while we are feeling all nice and motivated each evening without actually moving towards our goals, we are actually building inertia against us. We are remaining at rest, and rewarding ourselves emotionally for remaining at rest, making it even more likely that we will remain at rest in the future.

Unfortunately, we build the habit of rewarding ourselves for staying still. Because it feels good to be motivated, yet we don’t act. So in a way, we are emotionally rewarding ourselves for inaction. This is a problem. Actions that are rewarded get repeated. It’s already easier to do nothing than something, so we should not be making a special effort to reward ourselves for doing nothing.

III. From Motivation to Action

A. Self-Awareness

The first step to change is always awareness.

You cannot fix a problem if you don’t know it exists. In order to start to shift from basking in motivation without action to making meaningful progress, you have to admit there is a problem, admit there is something that needs to change in your life.

High-level athletes or employees often undergo the process of a “needs analysis”. This is where the demands of the sports or jobs are analyzed, and the athlete/worker themselves is analyzed to determine a few things. One is what are the demands of the sport/job, and the other is where the athlete/worker is, and what they need to improve.

You can perform one of these on yourself.

1. What are the traits you need to have in life?
2. Where in the process of developing those traits are you?

For a basic start, it can really be as simple as that. Know where you are and know where you are going. But do not get overly bogged down in the emotion of motivation.

Here is a link to a free needs analysis that goes beyond the sample I’ve provided here.

B. Actionable Goals

The problem with so many of the goals people make is that they refer to a Person’s end-state or the result. They leave out the key piece – the system that produces that result.

Goals are excellent because they tell you where to go, but you have to further analyze how to actually get to that goal. What are the stepping-stone actions that need to be taken in order to get where you want to go? Without identifying those actions, goals are irrelevant. So what if you want to get to Iceland – if you don’t have a map with your route laid out, you might as well guess which way to go and start heading that way.

Smaller actionable steps also reduce the friction for actually getting started. This is key – because what limits many people in their behavior change process is too large of a goal, or too large of a habit step.

They begin with too much ambition relative to the amount of discipline they have.

Make your action steps so small that it is almost impossible not to start. Then you get the ball rolling. Once the ball is rolling, it is significantly easier to keep it rolling – based on that same law of motion we mentioned moments ago.

C. Establishing a System of Accountability

As much as it pains me to say, you may need accountability in order to override your lack of motivation. Yes, I have written before that it is critical to develop strength alone, that accountability is overrated, that accountability is a crutch.

I stand by all these statements, but sometimes people are so weak, so far behind the starting line that they have to look for extrinsic motivation. As I’ve also written, I believe that motivation should be generated from within. This is key because you cannot always count on those around you.

You may not always have someone there to help you. External sources of motivation will not always be there. But you can always count on yourself. And if you can learn to generate that motivation from an internal place, or to develop the discipline that allows you to act no matter what your motivation may be, then you are infinitely more powerful.

But at times it helps to have accountability. Again I emphasize that this is generally a remedial process. It is like a rehabilitation protocol. People who have surgery or get injured are extraordinarily weak and require precise amounts of training and rehab in order to improve and heal, and they require crutches and other assistive devices.

They are not expected to remain in that condition, in fact, they are expected to rapidly improve. They are expected to leave their crutches behind. Just like the average person should not overly or for too long rely on accountability for his strength.

IV. Building Habits and Consistency Over Motivation

A. The Power of Routine

Where motivation fails, habits will sustain you. The best and worst part about a habit is that it puts behavior on autopilot. That is why it is up to you to decide what habit to engage in. This is critical.

Your habits form your character as well as your future skills. Build them with intentionality. Never build a habit or set a goal because someone else wants you to, or because someone else has that goal. Set your own goals. Forget everyone else. You will never have motivation if you take other people’s goals without giving a thought to what you want.

Habits bypass the need for motivation. Get them started and then they will get you started. You will have goal-oriented behavior on autopilot.

B. Action

Your plan of action has to be structured. You need a strategy. Identify your end state, then identify the sub-goals needed to carry the strategy to fruition.

C. Discipline and Persistence

The emotion of motivation fluctuates. Your discipline ensures you continue to act despite your emotions. And your habits support your discipline. Better habits reduce the need for discipline, but discipline pushes you when your motivation fails. Force yourself to act despite how you feel. Start with small actions and build up from there.

V. Progress over Perfection

A. Perfectionism

The perfect is the enemy of the good. So many people live beneath their true potential because they are perfectionists. This prevents them from taking the majority of the action that they are capable of taking. They are so scared of being less than perfect that they forget to act!

Perfectionism is a type of cowardliness. The perfectionist fears what others think, so they do little or nothing instead. The perfectionist only takes the actions that they have little to no choice but to take.

Accept that not everything will be perfect. But by doing so you will act more. By acting more you will get better. Then your “good” will be better than the perfectionist’s “perfection”, simply because you practiced more.

Focus on incremental improvement. Do not worry about the end result.

B. Small Wins

Worry about incremental progress and small improvement. This builds momentum and allows you to improve consistently. Allow yourself to be proud of small victories. Small victories fuel your long-term motivation in the end.

Do not concern yourself too much with motivation. It comes and goes. Sometimes it shows up on your doorstep, other times you won’t see it for a week. Concern yourself with taking action, developing habits, and working on parts of your life that matter to you.

Forget what everyone else wants for you. forget what your parents and grandparents want. Forget what your wife wants. Be excellent for you first – then everyone around you will benefit.

Desire – Lust: Are Desires Wrong?

Lust is a desire that is dwelt on. It goes beyond normal thinking, and beyond normal desires. Because we dwell on it, it grows exponentially more powerful until it overpowers us. That is the very nature of lustful thinking.

Desire itself is okay – but roots of desire that lead to evil are to be stamped out with ferocity. That’s one of the lessons we learn in James Chapter 1. Sin is a result of a desire that has been resting in the mind for so long that it’s taken root and grown. It is literally conceived like a child, and it’s growing into sin. And that sin, in the end, brings about death of a spiritual nature.

“You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell.
Matt 5:27-30

We have physical desires for a reason.

They push us to take action. The problem, however, comes when we spend too much time desiring something that is outside of God’s moral law. As much as men in the religious world tried to deny it, God has a set of regulations for behavior for his people. One of these is about avoiding adultery and lustful thinking.

Lust is adultery lacking only in opportunity, as Matthew Henry would say in his commentary. This is where most men live – no opportunity, but also no control over their own minds. Many men think that they are faithful to their wives, that they are loyal, but they are not. They simply have no choice but to be faithful and loyal because they have no opportunity or options to be unfaithful. I recently heard it said this way in a short video clip online, “drop your man outside the Playboy mansion and see how loyal he is then”. [Of course, you have to add that these women would somehow magically be attracted to the average churchgoer male, who is in most cases, unarousing by default – but that is beside the point. ]

Because for most Christian men, it’s not about loyalty, it’s about opportunity. And most men simply aren’t attractive enough to give themselves sexual access to options that they then have to resist. Meaning, there are no women who want to have sex with him. So they are not faithful, they are involuntarily loyal. They are “incels” but in married form.

Going back to lust – Lust is a desire that is dwelt on and approved by the mind, or at the least not resisted. This is different from having a desire and warring against it.

Christians live a life of self-denial. This means there must be some desire to deny, implying there is desire. Desire itself is never the problem. It is what we do with the desire that is the problem. Or if we feed the desire until it is a raging inferno, that is also a net negative. Even if you can make the argument and rationalization in your own mind that a raging desire is not a sin, you can at least see how it would be a disadvantage to have to war against that kind of desire. So your goal should be to avoid building it up to that level in the first place. And you do that by directing your thoughts toward other matters.

When it comes to the biblical model, we have one morally approved source of sexual access if we are married [which itself is an incredible sacrifice]. If we are unmarried we have no source of approved sexual access. That makes early unmarried life very difficult for men. Because most men have a massive amount of sexual energy that they then have to do something with. And I’ll tell you right now, you need to reorient that energy somewhere else. If you simply try to repress it, it will force an outlet. And with upwards of 70% of Christian men admitting to viewing pornography, I would say it’s forcing an outlet.

This war of sexual discipline requires us to plan strategically in advance. You are going to have a desire for other women who are not your wife, whether you are married or not – it’s all about what you do with it.

And I suggest you take that energy somewhere else. Literally, get up and go somewhere else when you start generating that powerful sexual energy. You do not want to be spending excessive time, or anytime at all, around women you find sexually attractive. That puts you in a losing position at all times.

Most men understand this logically. Even some high-level executives or men of success will talk about their principle of not having a meal, or being alone with any woman who’s not their wife. They usually take a lot of heat for this and get made fun of, but these men understand the male sexual nature. They understand that the sexual nature is a war with the rational mind. And that one should never voluntarily place himself in a position where he’s going to have to engage in that war because it’s difficult, and Sexual Energy can very easily overpower the rational mind if it is stirred to an excessive degree.

Remember, Desire itself is not a sin. If it is, what then is temptation? Isn’t Temptation just a form of desire? Of being pulled towards something that God has placed the divine stamp of disapproval on? Temptation cannot be sin because then Christ would have committed sin since he himself was tempted in all points as we are yet without sin [Heb 4:15].

The biblical distinction is very clear, Temptation and sin are separate. Temptation is the thing we war against. And we have temptations because we have desires, and there’s no getting around this. It’s just a question of what we do with the desire, and how we tamp it down.

We can be tempted and pulled by desire, but we must avoid letting it marinate in our minds. What sits in the mind inevitably expresses itself in action. If you are constantly meditating and focusing your mind on having sex with other women, you will be in a position of weakness. You will have programmed your mind through hours upon hours of visualization to believe that sexual activity with a multiplicity of women you are not married to is morally okay.

I am certainly not going to try to tell you not to have sexual energy, or not have sexual thoughts. I’m telling you to reorient those thoughts and direct them somewhere else. While you’re unmarried, and even while you’re married, You should find an outlet for those sexual energies. That is your masculine Divine energy, do not waste it on women or in fantasy. Because you can use that energy to make yourself a success in the physical world.

And of course, I argue that you should first do this for yourself, making yourself your own mental point of origin, because when you improve yourself everyone around you benefits. When you focus on yourself, and make yourself better, and make decisions that would be for the betterment of you, it’s not selfish unless it damages those around you. In fact, it’s the opposite of selfishness because it improves the lot of all those around you. The best thing you can do for those around you is to make yourself your mental point of origin and focus on yourself.

Again, this only becomes selfish if it damages those around you.

But you have to understand that this almost always improves the situation of those around you far more than you would ever be able to improve their situation by concentrating directly on trying to improve their situation.

The biblical model for handling lust is very severe. Christ moves from teaching on lust to teaching about hell. Why? Because Lust is one of the sins and desires that requires a reminder of severe punishment. We cannot always motivate ourselves with happy fluff. We will not motivate ourselves to do well with exclusively positive fuel. In fact, we need some fear and anger.

Christ does not teach “great is the reward for those with a pure mind” or “heaven will be more fulfilling than these desire of the flesh could ever provide”. He avoids this because it wouldn’t be enough to compete with the lust of the flesh. Heaven in fifty years or sex right now? Sexual energy and the urge of the moment are likely to win.

The complete counsel of God demands teaching on Hell.

It is motivating. We need to appreciate the fact that it is highly motivating and use it. When your rational mind is unable to overpower your sexual nature when you are tempted by sexual sin, you must conjure up the fear of Hell and the hatred of sin. These are some of the Practical tools for overcoming lust.

Become angry at your sin. Develop a hatred. Pray to the God of War[ Ex15:3] for strength and hatred.
Never be alone with a woman who’s not your wife. Your Sexual Energy will be at war with your rational mind. And that’s not a battle you want to engage in. The enemy is very strong, avoiding whenever you can.
Motivate yourself with reminders of punishment. When you’re being sexually tempted, the idea of Heaven’s not going to motivate you. Because the immediate pleasure of today is infinitely more tempting than the potential of unknown pleasure tomorrow.
Get clear in your mind about the practical consequences of adultery. You are risking your wealth, family, and future to have sex with a woman you are not married to. If you are unmarried, the risks are lower, but they are still present in the form of disease and pregnancy. But besides those two things, [which are the primary motivators most fear-mongering Christians use to talk about abstinence], you must be more concerned with the consequences from God.

Christians in Government

As Christians, we believe that God is sovereign over all things, including the governments of the world. In Romans 13, Paul writes that earthly rulers are appointed by God and are to be obeyed, except when their commands conflict with God’s commands. This means that government, at all levels, is an institution ordained by God and should be respected and engaged with as such.

That does not mean the governmental institution is beyond criticism. Just like we can critique marriages that do not follow the pattern God set [one man + one woman for life], we can also criticize the government when it does not follow the commandments of God.

Christians are called to be salt and light in the world. Jesus tells us in Matthew 5:13-16 that we are to be a blessing to the world and to let our light shine before others, so that they may see our good deeds and glorify God.

This includes being involved in the political process and using our voices to demand righteousness. We have to do this because the standard for justice and righteousness comes from God and the Bible. Without the knowledge of that standard, how will the government, ordained by God, Approved by God, be able to act in accordance with the will and justice of God?

No one else is going to push Christian values besides Christians. Therefore, Christians have the just responsibility to involve themselves in politics and push those values.

One of the reasons that the government exists is to protect citizens, punish wrongdoing, and reward good behavior. As Christians, we are called to love our neighbors as ourselves and to do good. By participating in the political process and fighting to shape the policies and laws that govern our communities, we can help ensure that our government can fulfill its God-ordained role of promoting the values of God and righteousness.

That is truly the main point, working to change government and policies so that the result is God-approved law.

It is also not moral to just do nothing, to ignore the political arena and hope everything works out for the best. We are required to be active in making a positive impact in the world. This includes being engaged in the political process and working to bring about positive change in our communities and beyond.

Even though God always works things for the good [Rom 8:28] and has all things under His control, that does not excuse us from taking action.

God having everything under control has never excused His people from taking action.

God was in control when Israel crossed the Jordan into the promised land, but you don’t see the children of Israel saying “Well, God is in control so we don’t have to do anything. We can just chill and He will take care of us”. No, they had to obey the word of the Lord even though He had all things under control. And this included taking action and going to war, against the pagan inhabitants of Canaan.

1. Promote biblical values and principles through your voting.

Many of the issues that come before governments at all levels have moral and ethical implications. Morals and ethics can only be understood from a religious perspective as God is the source of the moral compass within us all. By getting active in the political process, Christians can advocate for policies that embody biblical principles, such as the sanctity of life, the importance of family, and the value of hard work and personal responsibility which each coincide with the avoidance of socialistic policy.

2. Defend your religious freedom with your vote

As Christians, we have the right to freely practice our faith and share it with others. That is not the case across the world and will not permanently be the case if Christians continue to choose to bury their heads in the sand instead of vote. Being involved in the political process guarantees that we can work to protect this freedom and ensure that it is not infringed upon by government policies or legislation.

3. Someone must hold politicians accountable

And they must be held accountable according to a higher moral standard that comes down from the mind of God in His scriptures. Christians can use their voices and their votes to hold politicians accountable for their actions and to ensure that they are working in the best interests of their constituents.

Christians are called to be salt and light in the world (Matthew 5:13-16).
Being involved in the political process is one way to be salt and light in the world.
Therefore, Christians should be involved in politics, government, and elections.

The government exists to protect citizens, punish wrongdoing, and reward good behavior (Romans 13).
Christians are called to love their neighbors as themselves and to do good to all people (Galatians 6:10).
Therefore, Christians should be involved in politics, government, and elections to help shape policies and laws that promote righteousness, promote the punishment of wrongdoing, and provide protection for citizens.

Furthermore, it is not moral to do nothing and hope everything works out for the best. Therefore, Christians should be involved in politics, government, and elections to actively work toward bringing about change in the world.

Monogamy Revisited – Natural or Not?

I have written before about monogamy.

I gave two views on monogamy: one view states God designed men for monogamy and the other is that men are promiscuous by nature and that they must harness and manage their sexual urges for the betterment of humanity and for the betterment of their own spirituality.

For years I have held the position that men are not wired for monogamy.

Male biology does not seem to be wired for it.

We seem to crave sexual variety and quickly grow discontent with our singular source of sexual access. Granted, mere biological optimization speaks neither for nor against the morality of something. Much of Christianity wars against our nature. Man’s biology seems to naturally pull him towards promiscuity. But one new perspective is that this nature is merely the result of no mental discipline.

It is worth performing a thought experiment and analysis on, though I still believe that men are not purpose-built for monogamy.

It seems to me that both men and women have internal wars they have to fight against their own very nature in order to be obedient to God. Men resist the urge to spread their sexual seed as far and wide as possible. And women resist the urge to constantly trade up, or they try to reorient their thinking to find Christianity attractive [not arousing] and value those traits in a man.

There are also eexceptions to each: there are women who look for variety in partners and men who look to trade up. Exceptions don’t disprove the rule.

I think one of the places I have gone wrong before in writing about monogamy is not separating man into his different drives. I do not believe we should think of monogamy as something that man as a whole is or is not wired for. What I mean by this is that man has multiple layers.

The libido of man is not optimized for monogamy. If a man is trying to remain sexually disciplined – his biology will be warring against him. The Coolidge effect and subsequent experiments are demonstrative of that reality.

There is no way for one singular source of sexual access [a wife] to compete with a variety [multiple girlfriends/pornography] of novel sources in a one-to-one comparison.

Again – we are speaking strictly of the amoral male libido in this circumstance. When the question is simply about sex and sex drive, men are wired to want multiple partners. This is something that Christian men have to discipline themselves against in order to manage.

The spirit of man is optimized for monogamy. Now the higher mentality of man may want to be monogamous. Maybe this is natural, maybe it is the result of feminine-centric society indoctrinating him about “Soul mates” and other common myths, it is difficult to truly tell.

I think when the higher mind of a man competes with his libido, most libidos will win. The discipline to manage themselves is simply not present in most men. I believe I’ve read before by another author that “biology trumps conviction”. I believe that statement – which is why environmental control is so critical to any form of discipline.

Want to be monogamous? Create an environment that supports monogamy. Because your biology is doing you no favors.

This is the bedrock philosophy of why men shouldn’t be alone with women. And I think men and women in general cannot be friends. Why would a man have to avoid being with other women if he were naturally monogamous? The answer is: he isn’t. And if a man was alone with a woman, his biology would be waging total war against his conviction, and it would be difficult to see who would come out the victor.

The best-case scenario is to never engage in those battles. This is done by environmental control. Do not trust in your character, trust in habit and environment.

On Mental Training

If you never provide a child with any direction, he will grow up to be an uncivilized man. If you never train a dog, it will grow up to be disobedient and feral. Could it be that men are the same way with regard to sexual training and discipline?

Perhaps men actually are designed to be monogamous, but they lack training and direction with regard to sexual discipline. They have never been given any direction on how to manage their sex drive. Men receive no training on how to handle their own physiology or use it productively in order to be successful in the world.

And it is no wonder. Because what do men in the church know about this? They have obviously failed on the front of sexual education for young Christians for generations.

You have two basic types of men in the church. These are opposing extremes, and they are certainly not all there is, but they are the most glaring examples.

The unfaithful man acts on every sexual impulse he has and eventually relinquishes his religion and goes into the world or finds a church tolerant enough to ignore the bible’s teaching on marriage and accept his adulterous lifestyle.
And on the other side, you have the castrated beta male. These are the men who come out of the womb without testicles. They are subservient to females, pedestalize them, and mindlessly self-sacrificer to the vagina gods in order to receive their good favor. This man loves to tell you about how “rewarding” and “fulfilling” his marriage is, despite observable evidence to the contrary.

The former makes up about 20% of the church and the latter makes up the remaining 80% – with a few combinations or hybrids existing as well.

What would a man look like if he was actually trained from his youth to manage his sexual impulses? Or better yet, to convert them into success? That would be a rare breed of man. He would not fall into any of these two categories.

But there will never be any type of training like that because what religious man knows anything about sexual discipline? Most religious men either have no sexual access, or babble on about sexual purity one minute and are masturbating to pornography the next minute. Have any of these men seen the heat of the sexual battlefield, claimed victory, and lived to tell the tale?

The majority of men who are masculine and high value commonly fail to save sex for marriage. So we cannot listen to their advice – they lost their war. Those who are beta males are the ones we want to avoid imitating our actions as well if we are interested in avoiding sexless marriages.

But men could be built better [regarding sexual discipline] from a young age, no one can deny this. One of the problems is far too much feminine influence at the expense of masculine influence. When kids spend all day around mom is it any wonder when they start acting like mom [even the sons]?

Men could be raised and trained to manage their urges, channel their sex drive and transmute it into something better. Convert it into a drive for success until it can be used morally, based on the principles of the Bible, within marriage.

I always hesitate to make comments about “biblically correct sex” because there is no way to talk about it without looking and sounding like a loser. Probably because the only people who talk about it are losers on the scale of masculinity.

However, I can acknowledge the fact that men are likely built to crave sexual variety, but then required to sacrifice that drive for the sake of Christ.

Notice that this is not a sacrifice made for the express benefit of women. Christ has asked us to do something difficult – limit our sexual relationships to one woman for life.

That’s not easy. That is not a light request. That is a heavy request and a painful sacrifice. It’s not a sacrifice made directly for women – it is a sacrifice made directly for God. And it is something that is difficult to reason through, especially at the height of a sexual urge that you have no religiously justified outlet for if you are a single man.

This walk of faith comes at a cost to your pleasures. The Bible tells us that sin is pleasurable [Heb 11:25], anyone who says otherwise is lying to you. The sins of this world are very enjoyable to engage in. And to give them up for Christ is a major sacrifice.

It is a sacrifice because we want those pleasures badly, we are built to crave them, yet we must deny ourselves. And we are left to hope that trading all the pleasures on earth will be worth the pleasures of heaven. It doesn’t matter how good heaven is made to sound by your preacher, that is still a hard trade for a 19-year-old guy at the height of his natural testosterone production trying to stifle a sexual urge or hide his erection while sitting in a church pew.

How about instead of continuing to say “Well it’ll be worth it. Heaven will be worth it. Marriage will be worth it. Everything will make sense”, we start to accept the fact that the trade is difficult. It is just difficult. It may very well be true that marriage is “worth it”, whatever that may mean, but that does not mean marriage is any less of a sacrifice and a risk [professional, financial, social, sexual, emotional, psychological] for a man – especially in the 21st century.

Closing

Job said that he made a covenant with his eyes never to look at a woman lustfully. What kind of mental training does that involve? Sure, we could sit around and argue all day that Job did not have the same temptations and pressures that men today have. Many modern women are walking advertisements for sex, and we can always point fingers and say Job had it easier. But the reality is that this man set rules and regulations for the proper use of his own mind. There were certain ways that it was to be used and certain ways that were not allowed. He likely passed this training on to his sons as well.

We should work to replicate the mind of Job, the man who imposed complete control on his own body. And if we work to train ourselves and to train our sons from a young age, perhaps they will be in a better position than most Christians. Because while the people in the church want to sit around and pretend like sex does not exist, their sons are already learning more about sex from school and the internet than they could ever expect.

The difficulty in managing sexual drive demands better sexual education in the church. Again I note that most men do not know anything about sex. They know little about purity and warring against urges successfully because women find the majority of men unattractive and low value, and these men will never have to struggle to attain their purity. But perhaps if there is the one in a million man who is high value but sexually disciplined – he could teach men how to manage and redirect sexual impulses.

Page 14 of 84

« Previous 1 … 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 … 84 Next »