The book of Psalms contains a psalm of Moses. Embedded in that psalm is one of the most practical and sobering verses you will find in scripture. It teaches us a very important lesson: that your days are numbered.
“Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom”.
We know factually that we are going to die. Our days are numbered. This life is quickly coming to an end. And it goes faster the more life that we live. Each passing year is faster than the last.
What this verse actually teaches us is to remember that we are mortal. This is also the ancient stoic technique of meditating on our mortality. And by meditating on the fact that we will soon die, we act in a wise manner in our daily lives.
Think of individuals who have life-or-death events happen to them. What happens to those people?
Suddenly, seemingly out of nowhere, they have the clarity that they have lacked for the last twenty years. All of the nonsense of daily life melts away, and only what is important remains.
These people suddenly overcome problems they never had been able to defeat before, and sometimes they have lasting character changes.
You do not need a life-or-death situation to happen to you for you to gain this same perspective. All you have to do is remember that your days are numbered.
Remember that this life is quickly coming to an end, just as quickly as it began.
All that matters is the fact that you were created by God, and you have to find a way to make yourself acceptable to Him. You have to find a way to become right in His sight. You will not do this through works of your own merit. No, but He saves you and does all the work for you. You will not be able to justify yourself, but you can find justification and clothe yourself with it through God.
So in your day-to-day life, remember the fact that life ends. Do not place too much emphasis and importance on the physical parts of this life. Though they are important, and we do have to live here on earth, this is not where we are staying permanently. Therefore live each day as if it were the last day, and you will behave with much more wisdom.
Number your days, and gain a heart of wisdom. Act with that same wisdom every day, as long as you live and you will have an easier time maintaining the correct perspective.
Learn the way to make yourself right with God through the process of salvation:
16 Simon Peter answered and said, “You are the Christ, the Son of the living God.”
17 Jesus answered and said to him, “Blessed are you, Simon Bar-Jonah, for flesh and blood has not revealed this to you, but My Father who is in heaven. 18 And I also say to you that you are Peter, and on this rock I will build My church, and the gates of Hades shall not prevail against it.
While reading this passage of scripture in the Bible, many people come to the conclusion that Christ was talking about the gates of hell not prevailing against the church itself. Many believe this meant that no matter what would happen throughout history, the Church would always be alive and well.
But as we look through history, we can see that there were some very dark and disturbing periods where there seemed to be very little emphasis placed on faith. Especially when it came to religion as structured in the Bible.
Catholicism and other various man-made and man-influenced versions of religion would come to light and cast shadows on the truth found in the Bible. Many kinds of difficulties would face the church from persecution to false doctrine.
All of that to say, when Christ talks about the gates of hell not prevailing against “it”, what He was likely talking about is the actual building of the church, not the church itself.
“It” = building of the church.
Meaning that hell itself would not be able to stop the building of the church. Christ would build his church, and hell could not stop the building of that church. Once the church was established, hell would be a continual war with the church and everything it stands for throughout all of time.
The gates of hell are constantly trying to claim members of the church and dragged them back there. This is why every attempt at evangelism, every attempt to live in the truth and to resist evil and obey the commands of God is to lay Siege to Hell itself.
We are pulling Souls from the mouth of hell and helping them to see the care and concern of their creator.
The purpose of this brief article is to help you realize what is meant in this passage of Matthew 16:18. Nothing could stop the building of the church, it was coming whether the Gates of Hell liked it or not. And now that is here, you need to be a part of it. If you want salvation, you have to walk through God’s process of salvation.
You have to hear the word of God, knowing that Christ came to Earth and lived a sinless and perfect life, that he died on the cross for your sins and was raised from the dead after being buried in a tomb for three days.
So then faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God.
You must believe that this story is true. This can be the most difficult of all the steps. There are events and happenings in the scripture that are difficult to believe, but if you want salvation you must believe them.
For with the heart one believes unto righteousness,
Then you need to change your actions, which is what we call repentance. This has almost nothing to do with emotions, and essentially everything to do with your personal actions and changing the way that you’re living your life. Repentance is a change of action not a change of emotion. You can change your emotions without changing your actions and change your actions without changing your emotions. Ideally, you change both, but if you can only pick one, change your actions.
You have to confess that you believe the Bible story, confessing that you believe Christ did what He said He did, and what the Bible work words him doing. And you have to confess this in the presence of witnesses.
and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation.
Then you must be baptized in water that symbolizes the blood of Christ. As long as you live Faithfully this Blood continues to cleanse you from all sins.
Then Peter said to them, “Repent, and let every one of you be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ for the [k]remission of sins; and you shall receive the gift of the Holy Spirit.
One of the most common traditions at the start of the new year is setting new year’s resolutions. People often make resolutions with the intention of improving some aspect of their lives, such as exercising more, eating healthier, or saving money. However, despite good intentions, many people struggle to follow through on their resolutions and end up abandoning them within a few weeks or months.
There are a number of reasons why new year’s resolutions often fail.
One reason is that there is nothing significant about the new year. It is simply another day, and the passage of time does not magically improve a person’s ability to change their habits or achieve their goals. While the new year may provide a sense of motivation or a fresh start, these feelings are often short-lived and do not necessarily translate into sustained behavior change.
Another reason why resolutions fail is that they put too much emphasis on motivation.
Motivation can be fickle and is influenced by a variety of factors such as stress, mood, and external events. Relying on motivation to sustain long-term behavior change can be unreliable and can lead to disappointment when motivation fades.
While it is certainly helpful to be motivated when trying to achieve a goal, it is important to recognize that motivation alone is not enough to sustain the effort and discipline required to make lasting changes.
Resolutions are also often too big and too difficult for people with low levels of discipline.
This is talking about most people. Setting unrealistic goals that require significant effort and discipline can be overwhelming and can lead to burnout or frustration. For example, if someone who has never exercised regularly before resolves to work out for two hours a day, six days a week, they may quickly become overwhelmed and unable to maintain this level of commitment. Similarly, if someone resolves to save a large percentage of their income, but does not have a plan for how to achieve this goal, they may struggle to make progress.
Resolutions can also build a false sense of hope.
People may feel optimistic and motivated at the beginning of the year, but when they fail to meet their goals, they may become discouraged and give up. This can lead to a cycle of setting and abandoning resolutions, which can be frustrating and demoralizing.
So, if new year’s resolutions are so prone to failure, what can be done to set meaningful goals that are more likely to be achieved? Here are some tips for setting goals that are more likely to succeed:
Start small.
The smaller the goal is, the easier it will be to get started and build momentum. For example, instead of resolving to exercise for two hours a day, six days a week, try starting with a goal of exercising for 5 minutes a day, three days a week. This will be more manageable and will give you a sense of accomplishment as you build up to your larger goal.
Make the goal action-based instead of outcome-based.
This means focusing on the steps that need to be taken to reach the goal rather than the end result. For example, instead of resolving to “lose weight,” try setting a goal to “exercise for 30 minutes a day” or “eat a serving of vegetables with every meal.” These actions are within your control and can help you make progress toward your larger goal.
Don’t get obsessed with the goal, be obsessed with the process.
It is important to enjoy the journey towards your goal and to appreciate the progress you are making. Focusing on the small wins along the way can help you stay motivated and engaged.
Devote small amounts of time to your goal each day or week. Rather than trying to make a large, overwhelming change all at once, it can be more effective to make small, incremental changes over time. By devoting just a few minutes a day or a week to your goal, you can make progress without overwhelming yourself.
Learn how to be more intense, for shorter periods of time.
Rather than trying to sustain a high level of effort and discipline for long periods of time, it can be more effective to work intensely for shorter periods and then take breaks to rest and recharge. This can help you stay focused and motivated without burning out.
Make the goal about identity and lifestyle change instead of just about the outcome.
By focusing on the long-term benefits of your goal, such as becoming healthier or more productive, you can create a sense of purpose and motivation that goes beyond just achieving a specific outcome. This can help you sustain your effort and discipline even when faced with challenges or setbacks.
New year’s resolutions often fail because they rely on factors that are difficult to control. To set meaningful goals that are more likely to be achieved, it is important to start small, focus on the process, and make the goal about identity and lifestyle change.
Rather than worrying about planning, massive goals, and motivation levels, the most important thing is to just get started. By taking small, incremental steps toward your goals, you can build momentum and create lasting change in your life.
When it comes to the opportunity cost of marriage, at all times, we are speaking in generalities and averages. Obviously, there are outstanding, amazing marriages and relationships in the world. What we are trying to do here is expound upon some of the rational reasons why men no longer see marriage in general as a good investment. and we will look at it from the perspective of investing in a company.
What is the definition of an opportunity cost?
“Opportunity costs represent the potential benefits that an individual, investor, or business misses out on when choosing one alternative over another.”
This is the business definition of an opportunity cost, but the same thing can apply to relationships. When a man marries a woman, there is an opportunity cost to that decision. Because he is giving up the opportunity to have relationships with all other women, specifically relationships with a sexual nature.
Obviously, you can get into a discussion about open marriages and various other permutations and combinations of marriage which are at their core perversions of marriage. But in this discussion we will be talking about marriage in the traditional sense, the way it should only be talked about. – between one man and one woman.
Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.
Again, a married man has given up the opportunity for all other relationships.
In this way, marriage has a substantial opportunity cost, and it is likely one of the many things men fear about marriage. While many men are accused of being afraid of commitment, looking at it from a rational business perspective you can understand why they are so fearful!
Opportunity cost is frightening for business owners. Opportunity cost is scary to people who are deciding on a college major. Because when making that final decision about a business or a major, they give up the option for all other college majors. In fact, there is less finality to college and business than there is with marriage. If you are going to be stressed out about these small decisions that can be reversible, how much more should you be stressed about the decisions that will affect who you spend your life with?
Getting married is like investing in the stock of a company.
For the purpose of this discussion, we will paint an analogy between the stock market in marriage, to maintain the business perspective. A stock has a specific and quantifiable opportunity cost. Because when you invest, you are taking a certain amount of money that could be spent on anything and investing it into one item. You lock the funds into one specific item. And by doing so you lose the opportunity to use that money for anything else.
The same thing applies to marriage, it’s like a stock. You lose the opportunity to use your time or sexual nature for anything other than what you have confined it to within that marriage relationship.
We should note that we make this investment voluntarily. No one is forcing us against our will to invest in the stock of marriage.
Why does anyone invest in anything at all? It is because they believe that at a future moment in time it will be of greater value to have invested in that item that to have not invested. People believe that stocks will increase in value and eventually pay dividends, this is why they invest in them. Similarly with marriage, even though there’s an opportunity cost, people invest in marriage because they believe that in the future it will have greater value than what the relationship has at the present moment.
Understanding both the cots and the value potential for marriage, we can see how many individuals get married and have regrets about it soon thereafter. They have regrets because they judge the value of the marriage too early and have not given the marriage stock enough time to appreciate in value or to start paying respectable dividends. It takes time to grow a loving, valuable marriage. It doesn’t happen instantly without any effort or further investment. Just like a stock portfolio requires continual investment to build to any appreciable level.
The lesson here is that we should understand both the cost and the potential of marriage and not expect it to start paying immediate dividends to us on the first night. Even though there are few immediate benefits [access to sex/ companionship/sharing of responsibilities which reduced the necessary workload for everyone], many of the long-term benefits don’t show up until significant time and energy investment in the relationship has been made. This is the way it was designed to be, and this is important.
Stocks have an opportunity cost.
We’ve already noted briefly before that stocks have an opportunity cost. If you pay $50 for a stock, you cannot use that same $50 to buy something else that has immediate value in the present moment. But you do so believing that in the future that stop will be worth $100 or that it will pay dividends.
Stocks pay dividends.
Some types of stocks pay dividends periodically. When a company increases in value, and if stock increases in value, that increase in value is shared among the people who own stock in that company. The size of the dividend is usually related to the respective growth of the company. Meaning that you will get larger dividends when a company increases its value by a million dollars than you would if the company increased its value by $500,000.
Not all stocks pay dividends but for the sake of this example, we will stick with dividend-paying stocks.
Individuals buy stocks with the idea that in the future they will start providing them value in return. People believe that the stock will pay them dividends at a future date that they can then use for further investment or at their own personal discretion.
Individuals do not buy stocks with the idea that the stock will go down in value and end up costing them their initial investment.
People do not get married believing in their rational minds that they will be divorced shortly. Yet this happens to so many people due to poor market research on their spouse, personal lack of discipline, or any other of the plethora of reasons people divorce one another.
Stocks have risks and can go to zero.
If you buy stock in a company and that company goes bankrupt, the value of its stock will go to zero and you lose your initial investment money. This is what makes some stocks “risky”. You can try to reduce this risk by analyzing the financial track record of the stock and predicting how it will perform, or by diversifying your investment into multiple stocks.
At least at this present time, you cannot diversify your investment into the marriage stock. It is a single-time buy, and it requires you to use 100% of your sexual/romantic relationship capital. This makes the investment highly risky.
In what investment in your life would you risk 100% of your money? If you were to make such an investment, there should be no value in your mind of the value and potential of the company you are investing in. Investing everything you have in one stock that seems to be risky to you would be foolish – but many people do this very thing with their marriages.
Stocks have a historic track record and dividends can be rationally analyzed by examining those who own the stock.
If I am interested in buying a stock, I can look at how well the stock has performed over a period of time. Or I can talk to people who own stock in a company and ask them what the dividend payout is like from year to year. Using this rational method, I can make a scientific and precise determination about the value of a stock and decide if I want to invest in it.
The same applies to marriage, I can look at other people who have invested in the stock of marriage and determine if the historical track record of the stock is appropriate given the opportunity cost and risk, and additionally evaluate if the dividends are worth the cost of buying that stock.
Every rational individual has to ask himself if marriage is going to provide him with greater value than what it costs him. People don’t take action that eventually cost them down the road, at least not intentionally. We always act with the idea that we will improve the situation for our future selves. No rational individual makes a conscious choice to make life worse for himself later down the road.
People are discontent with the outcomes of marriage.
Many people today are dissatisfied with the outcomes and dividends of marriage. They can look around them and observe people that are incredibly dissatisfied in their marriage and who happen to be incredibly vocal about that dissatisfaction. We would be wise to remember that perhaps the value of the stock may be high but the people who complain about losing money in this investment are extraordinarily vocal about their personal experience, which may or may not represent the experience of the whole. People are more likely to be vocal about negative experiences than positive experiences, including investments and relationships.
What is tragic is that many young men today observe individuals who are married, and come to the conclusion that the investment isn’t worth the opportunity cost and risk. Some of them make this determination merely because of the extraordinarily vocal minority of men who had breathtakingly bad experiences investing in marriage. And this is tragic for society as a whole, as societies become more stable when marriages are built and families are established.
The opportunity cost of marriage is high.
When a man commits to one woman for life, he rarely knows what he is doing. do you really think people would get married if they knew that in a few short years they would be divorced? Even though this is the case for many marriages, it’s obvious that people don’t know in advance what they’re getting into or they would make different decisions.
For a man, the opportunity cost of marriage is extraordinarily high. He must give up on sexual partners for the sake of a single marital relationship. Considering a man’s natural sexual drive, this is a difficult sacrifice. But again, many make this sacrifice believing that it will be a worthwhile investment that provides value and dividends at a future date.
We need to recognize that for many rational men, simply observing the opportunity cost of marriage is enough for them to say “I’m out” when it comes to investing in the marriage stock.
The current dividends of marriage are low.
Men can rationally observe older men in miserable marriage relationships and make judgments about the value of marriage as a whole. By the time men are middle-aged and older, their marriage should be paying massive dividends. A man should feel a massive sense of fulfillment for a life well-lived, a wonderfully enjoyable marriage relationship, and a legacy established through children. But instead what he has is mountains of weighty responsibility, the inability to ever retire, and a contentious wife to live with.
Better to dwell in a corner of a housetop, Than in a house shared with a contentious woman.
If these are the dividends that men have to look forward to in the middle and end of life in a marriage relationship, why would they ever invest in the marriage stock in the first place? Better to be alone than in this relationship is the message taught in the above Proverb.
With men referring to their wives as “the old ball and chain” and other similar idioms, why is anyone shocked that younger men aren’t wanting to get married? Are you shocked that young men aren’t investing in marriage stock when it has this kind of PR?
If you constantly talk about the pitifully low-paying dividends of a company, the worthlessness of the company, and how difficult it is to invest and maintain investment in the company, why would anyone ever buy stock in that company? The only life commentary that some men provide is negative press about the institution of marriage and they’re shocked when people aren’t getting married anymore.
Marriage can “go to zero” and its risk manifests.
In its most extreme case, marriage, like a stock, can go to 0. This is when a marriage ends in divorce. In the modern day, women are initiating the vast majority of these divorces. Not only are they initiating them, but it seems to be based on nothing. This makes the marriage stock extraordinarily risky.
If someone told you that a company’s risk of going to zero was 50% every year and that the company could actually close its doors for any reason, and still take half of the money you’ve invested in it for themself, would you invest in it? This is the business structure of the modern marriage relationship, so it should be no surprise that men are uninterested in investing in something this risky.
In the end, marriage really is more like a business than a stock. This is because you cannot really influence what a company does unless you are the one who owns the majority of the shares. But in a business, you make substantial investments, and also then can work to direct and guide the company to something better.
When viewed this way, you realize that the business of your marriage is under the control of the people engaged in that relationship. Value is added to subtracted from the relationship because of the decisions of the business partners.
The business of marriage can provide massive massive value if you will take the time to invest in it and grow it. Or it can be the worst decision you make – it is up to you. Make good decisions. Decisions in marriage is a topic for another post.
But is the opportunity cost of marriage worth all the risks and benefits? That is left to each individual. What do you think?
We underestimate the value of taking the smallest possible step. Most people fail every endeavor they embark on because they never get started, which is the worst type of failure! If we try and fail, at least we tried. It is honorable to work and give effort even if the results are unfavorable. What is ignoble is to never try at all – to never give any effort towards our goals. This is especially true when it comes to what we want to accomplish or who we want to be in life.
For a righteous man may fall seven times And rise again, But the wicked shall fall by calamity.
Most people never get started because they think only massive action will suffice.
Massive action is one of the tenants of Tony Robbin’s message. I like Tony Robbins and I think massive action is needed for massive results, but I think if the standard is “massive action”, most people will never start because this is too daunting. Other people don’t want “massive results”, they just want some results. And the idea of taking massive action scares them away from taking any action. I think it is important to have incredibly high standards for ourselves, but those standards are meant to grow as we grow. We are not to start off with standards that are so high that it prevents us from taking any action at all.
Many of us require the smallest possible step in order to get started with any type of action, and we will look at some examples of this in a moment.
But by shrinking any task into the smallest possible step required to get started, many of us will find it easier to actually get the ball rolling.
Shrinking tasks is a technique often used in psychotherapy with people who are chronically depressed or unable to make any progress in life. One of the tools in the therapist’s toolbelt is to negotiate with their patient about what they are trying to do, shrinking down tasks until they are so small that the patient can actually do them. Many people need tiny tasks because the idea of taking a massive amount of action seems impossible to them.
Take the example of having to clean your whole house. Even for non-depressed people, this is a massive and daunting task. And many people procrastinate over getting started because they believe they have no choice but to clean their entire house all at once. So they pace the floor and try to build up the motivation to clean the house. They waste massive amounts of time just building the motivation to do what they know must be done.
What would be far easier is to start shrinking the task down.
Maybe we cannot clean the whole house, so what about cleaning one room?
Maybe even the idea of cleaning one room seems to be too difficult. So what about cleaning one corner of a room?
If there is a stack of papers in the room, could we organize just that stack?
If even that is too daunting, what about lifting the trash out of the trash can in the room?
All we have to do is continue to shrink down the action until we find the smallest possible step. At some point, the task will be so small that anyone can take it. Then take that step. And you will find that now you actually have momentum. You have gotten the ball rolling, and that is power. Your progress will not be linear, it will be exponential.
Take advantage of small actions and develop those into habits.
Once you have the habit of shrinking down tasks into small steps, you will find it much easier to keep going.
If you can get yourself started, you can keep yourself going the majority of the time.
Once you have developed those actions into small habits, expand them into bigger habits.
We do not want to develop the permanent habit of only doing small tasks. We need to be able to get ourselves to take bigger action. But we need to stair-step our way there because if we cannot handle small tasks, we will not be able to tackle large tasks.
We also need to Maintain habits by always being willing to take the smallest action – and be content with that. We have to be forthright and state that if you always and only take the smallest possible action, you will not make massive progress. Are you willing to be content with that?
But in reality, many people find that if they take the smallest step, it is much easier to take an additional step after that. Before you know it, you have taken 1,000 steps and have made great progress.
Have the humility to start small.
Perfectionism and ego prevent us from starting small. We believe we are capable of more. Only the weak have to take small, baby steps. When we do not act because an action is seemingly too small, we are saying “I am capable of more, and because of that it will not be happy if I simply do less than some massive action”. So instead of taking a small step, we take no step, and that is unfortunate because it will prevent us from making any progress at all in our life.
Some Tools for Taking The Smallest Possible Step
I – The Two-Minute Rule
Decide on whatever task you want to work on. Decide that you are only going to work two minutes on it. Set a two-minute timer and start working. when the timer goes off, you are allowed to stop working.
The value of this tool is that anyone can work for 2 minutes. It may be difficult, even though it is a short time, but most people can set a two-minute timer and focus. If not, then set a one-minute timer. Whatever the smallest unit of time that allows you to get started and work is.
II – The “It’s Okay to Not Finish” Technique
For this tool, all you have to do is give yourself permission to not finish whatever task you start. While this is not a habit we want to maintain permanently, as we want to be finishers, it is still infinitely better than doing nothing.
To use this tool, simply say to yourself “I’ll just get started, I don’t have to finish this work“.
By doing this, you give yourself permission to stop in the middle of the task. this breaks the task into very small chunks inadvertently.
This is the same principle we mentioned when we talked about shrinking a task down in psychotherapy. That person gives themself permission not to clean the whole room, but to just clean a small portion of it. the job is not finished, but he has made progress.
Whatever it is you are trying to accomplish in life, be willing to take the smallest possible step.
Develop it into a habit. Then you will be someone who gets started. And getting started puts you years ahead of most people.
