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Wisdom II – Characteristics of Wise Men

“Listen to advice and accept instruction, that you may gain wisdom in the future.”
Proverbs 19:20

“The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man listens to advice.”
Proverbs 12:15

“An intelligent heart acquires knowledge, and the ear of the wise seeks knowledge.”
Proverbs 18:15

“Whoever restrains his words has knowledge, and he who has a cool spirit is a man of understanding. Even a fool who keeps silent is considered wise; when he closes his lips, he is deemed intelligent.”
Proverbs 17:27-28

There are two main types of wisdom that people think exist: earthly wisdom and spiritual/heavenly wisdom. Earthly wisdom comes from man, perhaps most notably from ancient philosophers and writers who have passed on what they have learned in life. Stoicism, teachings of Confucius, and existentialism are common examples of earthly wisdom that most people will recognize.

Earthly wisdom does not always come from a spiritual thinker, and earthly wisdom is not always wrong, contrary to what people in the religious world think.

Spiritual wisdom is what comes from spiritual teaching. For Christians, this spiritual teaching is the Bible and the writers of the Word.

Both spiritual and earthly wisdom are valuable which again is contrary to what you hear in the religious world. In fact, if you look deeply into earthly teachings, you will see connections to the spiritual teachings you have heard your whole life. Any real truth we extract from ancient writings, if it is really truth, must be somehow connected to the Word of God if we believe that the Bible is truth. All wisdom is connected.

“If you know the way broadly, you will see it in all things” ~
Miyamoto Musashi, Book of Five Rings.

If you know the Way of God Broadly, you will see it in all viable philosophy.

Take Stoicism for example, which was becoming popular around the time of the apostle Paul. The main idea of stoicism is to control how you react to and think about situations and life events. It teaches to control emotions instead of having them control you. Stoicism is all about managing the mind in order to live a good life. Now if you look at stoicism for more than two seconds before writing it off you will see that the main premise of it is self-control. And what is self-control but a fruit of the spirit? So stoicism actually turns out to be a potential in-depth philosophy for developing a fruit of the spirit. Facts like this make earthly wisdom useful.

Wisdom can be instruction on how to live and conduct yourself while you are among men. Wisdom is also used to describe other people. Men are wise if they behave and think in a certain manner. Wise men know how to use patience since they have cultivated it over a lifetime. Also, wise men know to look deeply at a situation, to analyze it before they search for a solution. Wise men understand that problems are temporary situations that lead to the growth of the individual.

Have you noticed that most of the wise men you know are generally quiet men?

They need and use very few words. Wise men let their actions speak for them and they understand that the man who talks much knows little and thinks even less.

The stereotype of a wise man is an ancient fellow with a long beard who speaks in vague, ominous phrases. This image did not appear magically since all stereotypes originate from some grain of truth. The wise man is eventually thought to be crazy, until his strange,vague and prophetic sayings turn out to have some truth to them – such is the benefit of speaking vaguely about the future.

To be wise, be silent. You must be wise, for there are very few truly wise men in the religious world today.

Mantra

Think much, speak little.

Application

The wise man considers all variables before he makes a decision. If it so happens that he makes a decision and something happens that he did not expect, he will remember that situation the next time he needs to contemplate a similar action. The man who is wise conducts himself in a way that causes the least amount of unnecessary or unprofitable pain to others.

The key trait of a man of wisdom is the ability to use foresight in actions. This is the manifestation of all wisdom. The wise man considers all of his steps well and thinks several moves ahead on the figurative chess board. The wise man is acutely aware of his surroundings in social situations. He places himself in the shoes of others and sees life through their eyes. By doing this he shapes his words actions to the personality of the person he is interacting with and wins their favor.

The wise man fears the Lord and therefore behaves righteously (Proverbs 1:7).

The wise man thinks before he acts in all situations. There are very few instances in which action should be taken before it is thoroughly contemplated. The wise man conducts himself with character and integrity in all that he does. He is completely honest and forthright with the truth, but he delivers it in such a way that it does not damage the recipient. If the recipient of the truth needs to be stuck on the head with truth, then the wise man knows it must be done. Certain personalities need to be beaten over the head with the truth in order to accept it,while others need to have the truth gently placed upon them, and they will absorb it all the same.

The wise man is masculine to his very core, and he knows never to suppress his masculinity because in its suppression the darkness of man will begin to simmer until it forces its way out. He gives all negative emotions constructive outlets and rules over his emotions with an iron fist. The wise man considers all variables in life at all times, and remains ever vigilant to the assault of evil on his mind and thoughts.

The wise man conducts himself like a man, so you must also conduct yourselves like men.

Actualization – Men Must Improve

“Practice these things, immerse yourself in them, so that all may see your progress”
1 Timothy 4:15

“And though your beginning was small, your latter days will be very great.”
Job 8:7

From: kopywritingkourse.com – Psychology of Marketing Using Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs

Psychologist Abraham Maslow put together a pyramid that organizes the main categories of human needs from the most basic necessities to advanced, high level desires. Needs on the bottom of the pyramid are the basic needs that must be fulfilled for basic survival: Food, water, shelter and sex – these are the physiological needs.

The second block is safety needs: Security, employment (in the modern day), and stability. Notice that this level cannot be achieved or even thought about until the basic necessities are provided.

The third block is love and belonging: friendship, personal intimacy, sexual intimacy and connection. Note the interesting fact that while the physical sexual need is on the lowest block, all basic necessities and security must be provided before sexual intimacy can take place. There is a difference between sex and sexual intimacy and you can see plenty of examples of that if you talk to your friends in the world. Also remember that this pyramid was created by a secular man. Obviously many people could have different experiences if they are Christians or not.

The fourth block is esteem: Respect, status and recognition. Obviously if you don’t have work or physical security then you will not be extremely worried about how others think of you until those needs are met.

The top of the pyramid is self-actualization: The need to be creative or to improve the self to the highest level possible. Self-Actualization is a need that should be important to Christian men.

Men in the church have almost all these needs met, except sex and respect. Note that even Jesus Himself tells us that our basic physical needs will be met (Matthew 6:24-35), ensuring that we can automatically focus on developing higher up on the pyramid.

Because modern men have most of their needs met, they have a very important need to improve and be creative in their lives. Christian men, and especially Christian men in America, are in a position where they do not have to worry about basic survival and, therefore, have time to contemplate existential and spiritual questions or think creatively.

There is a humorous image of a man who is being chased by a tiger in a jungle, and the man suddenly sits down and begins to write poetry. No man who has his basic physical survival challenged is going to worry about actualization. We never move on to the higher level needs until we have the lower needs satisfied. If we do not have food, we are not going to be that concerned with being respected. If we have no place to live, we are not going to be thinking about cultivating a sex life.

Men in the church almost never have their survival questioned.

Even if they fall into times of serious need, the social fabric of the church will catch them and support those basic needs. Men in the church no longer have excuses for the lack of improvement in their lives. There is no reason that any man should be the exact same year-to-year with little or no improvement on his character or skill set.

Men must also be creative and inject themselves into the creative pursuits that have been the arena of the secular men for generations. Christian men should be writing masculine music. Men need to write books and movies that promote Christian principles rather than berate them. Men need to excel in fields of science, mathematics and philosophy, instead of leaving all academics to the atheists. We as men must stop making excuses as to why we are not improving or producing anything useful with our lives.

Average men generate dozens of excuses as to why they are not improving, or why they are not even changing themselves in any way. We are not to be these types of men, but should rather be the type of men who improve. We are to build a new reputation for men in the church. This reputation should be one of character and masculinity, not of femininity and weakness. We must create a generation of men who are interested in continually sharpening their personal skills. The age of men who sit in the pews for decades decaying to nothingness is finished.

Mantra

Growth is life, maintenance is death.

Application

Get to work right now. Write down the characteristics of the man you want to be and start changing yourself. Start producing something, anything, there is no excuse for stagnation and lack of production in life. Write music, books and movies, do not worry about how terrible you think they are. Produce philosophy. Train your body and create a masterpiece. Train your mind and improve your thinking. It does not matter what you are producing, as long as you are creating something. It does not matter how you are improving yourself, it only matters that you are changing for the better rather than maintaining your pathetic state of existence.

Start by writing 100 words per day. At the end of the month you have 3,000 words. At the end of the year you have 36,000 words, that is the length of an average short novel these days, all created in about 5 minutes of writing per day.

Train the body every day.

Do not worry about what you are doing or whether or not it is on the cutting edge of scientific training, just train your body every day. It does not matter how long you train and it does not matter what you do, it only matters that you take action and train.

Start learning a musical instrument immediately. Learn the basic embarrassing songs and master them. Learn one new chord a day on the guitar, or learn one new rhythm pattern on the drums. Practice one scale a day on your instrument, never missing a day of practice. At the end of the year you will be better than 60% of people who claim to play that same instrument.

Most of the time it does not matter what you do, only that you do not remain stagnant.

Reject mediocrity.

Demolish your weakness and rebuild a fortress of strength from the rubble.

Develop the strength of your will.

Build your character to incredible heights.

Win the war over your thoughts.

Master your mind.

Create.

Build.

Conduct yourselves like men.

Weak Man’s Grace – The Wallower

“But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.”
2 Corinthians 12:9

“You see that a person is justified by what he does and not by faith alone.”
James 2:24

“So also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead.”
James 2:17

Weak men emphasize grace far more than they emphasize action.

The religious world is plagued with the weak man’s mindset. Every Christian understands the necessity and importance of grace, but the weak man uses grace as an excuse to do evil. The weak man uses grace as a way to justify his lack of spiritual progress. He wallows in his “brokenness” and begs God to do all the work for him. God does save us by His will and by His grace, He does all the heavy lifting of removing our sins, but we still have a duty to behave as men and not use grace as a reason to avoid behaving righteously or the work of improving.

The beta focuses on his emotions, how he feels and how “church” makes him feel instead of focusing on the work he needs to do for the God of heaven and earth. He sings songs to make himself feel good rather than to serve God. The weak man uses grace to justify his weakness. He mistakenly thinks if he actually improves that there will be no place for grace to fill his life and make him feel warm and fuzzy inside. This man is a disgrace. Christians already have a reputation for looking weak and pathetic, and these men who are constantly emotional and effeminate do not help this perception.

Over-emphasizing grace relieves us of the responsibility to work on our character flaws and be obedient to difficult commands.

Many men think they do not have to do anything besides accept grace and then they are good to go. This is the foundation for the sinner’s prayer or “accepting Christ as our savior”, or any other concepts of salvation that oppose the Bible, are found nowhere in the Bible, and do nothing for our salvation. These are the concepts of weak men. Pathetic men want to say a one-lined prayer or theatrically call out to Jesus and “invite him into their hearts”, because that definitely works and you see that in the Bible. Have you ever seen a highly masculine man invite Jesus into his heart? This is weak man’s grace.

Mantra

Grace is sufficient, but my work is also required.

Application

Christianity is not just about grace. It is founded on grace, and would be nothing without the grace of God, but there is still a great deal of work that we as men are still required to do. We cannot sit around and wallow in emotions and talk about how ‘bad’ we are – that is weak man’s grace. Contrary to popular belief, we do not need to go forward to repent at every youth rally. Boys who go forward at those events are more interested in having girl’s breasts pressed against their chest when they hug than they are about changing their actions.

Men are interested in action, taking action and avoiding unnecessary or detrimental emotions because they know that emotions delude reality and are not a reflection of it. If a man is not firmly grounded in his principles of logic, he has the responsibility to first set aside all emotion and uncover the truth of who he is and what he believes. Once he is firm in these facts, he can then add back emotion to supplement the logic if he wants.

We must tone down our emotions because of the fact that emotions do not equal reality.

Emotions are not to be trusted or built upon, they are unstable and weak when used as foundations. Emotions are good fuel for your vehicle, but you have to make sure you are driving in the right direction first.

Catch yourself when you are getting too emotional about some event or situation and ask yourself a few questions.

In worship: “Is it right to be this emotional right now? Is this emotional momentum about me or about God? Am I thinking about grace, or merely feeling about grace? Are these emotions improving the worship to God, or merely improving how I feel about the worship to God?”

When You Become Angry: “Is this emotion productive for this situation? Can I control myself with a hot emotion like this? Would I make better choices if I wanted and cooled down before moving forward?”

When You Become Fearful: “Am I behaving like a man when I panic? Is this situation that important in the long-term? If the worst-case scenario happens, what will I lose? Can I think of situations that are far worse than mine currently? Can I detach from this emotion?

These are important questions to just a few situations where emotions rush into the mind. These questions also differentiate between usefulness and selfishness of emotion. Do not focus on your feelings because they are not always indicative of righteousness. Emotions do not automatically equal sincerity. The only way to prove sincerity is through actions, and sincerity is especially proven when you take action without emotional backup.

Reject your feelings and force them into submission until you know what you believe.

Weak man’s grace is selfish, and you must be reject the desires of the self at times.

Focus your thoughts on action.

Control emotions.

Keep rationality and wisdom with you always.

Conduct yourselves like men.

Chemical Aid – Drugs

What is your opinion on using chemical aid? Are drugs tools or problems or both? Leave your comment at the bottom.

“Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.”
1 Peter 5:8

I can almost guarantee you are consuming some type of psychoactive substance. The extent to which the element is psychoactive is the only thing that varies and is the only way Christians justify its consumption. The most basic debate is caffeine versus amphetamines. “Caffeine is completely fine for the Christian to consume”, so they say, even though it is a chemical brother to amphetamines that include meth.

Because caffeine has arguably milder psychological effects, Christians can justify consuming it. I enjoy caffeine as much as the next guy, but I am not going to pretend that caffeine is as different from amphetamines as many people would like to suggest. Amphetamines just have a lower overdose point. Every substance has its own lethal overdose point. For caffeine the overdose point is around 10 grams, as far as we know. Everything is a poison, it is only a question of dosage.

Caffeine’s chemical effect still stimulates the body like a mild form of meth, just to a lesser degree and with less damaging side effects as far as is currently known.

Obviously smoking or snorting something made with battery acid is going to be more damaging than a well-researched substance like caffeine.

What exactly do you think your doctor is giving you when he prescribes Adderall or Ritalin? “Amphetamines are bad, unless my doctor gives them to my under-disciplined ADHD child. At that point it is totally okay”.

And before everyone jumps to the, “But Coffee is natural” argument, let me remind you that Hemlock poison, Lily of the Valley Berries, several various mushrooms and cyanide producing sudangrass or sorghum are all natural plants that produce lethal poisons. Natural does not automatically equal safe.

Chemicals are on the earth to be used to our advantage.

Most Christians just have to run a cost-benefit analysis to determine if a certain drug is okay for them to take. As long as the drug does not damage the body too much, and does not alter the state of the mind to an excessive degree, it is okay for most people to consume.

I think this philosophy is cowardly and ridiculous. These same Christian who would be angry at people who “try to find where the line of God’s commands is” so they can get as close to the line as possible without going over it are making the same arguments when it comes to what they put in their bodies. Weak-minded Christian people simply want to see how much they can experience of a drug without sinning. Just like weak-minded Christians want to see how much they can do sexually without actually having penis-in-vagina intercourse. It is the same delusional justification scheme.

Caffeine is approved by Christians because it does not damage the body in small doses, and only alters the mind slightly, giving it more energy but also a sense of great anxiety and impending doom. Caffeine is an anxiogenic compound, meaning is causes anxiety.

But wait: if a substance induces anxiety, something the Bible tells us explicitly to avoid (Matt 6:25-34; Philippians 4:6), how can it be right to consume it?

No one can answer this without excessively justifying their own behavior. Furthermore, most Christians discussing the effects of various drugs have no scientific knowledge whatsoever and no ability to think rationally or scientifically. The lack of scientific thinkers in the religious world is a plague that has contributed to the growth of radical liberalism and buttressed the emotionalistic propaganda of weak thinking beta-males. Note: There are many more religious scientists than there are religious scientific thinkers – there is a difference between the two.

The absence of scientific thought in the religious world regarding drugs is clearest when you observe someone accepting or refusing to consume something based on whether or not there are any “chemicals” in it. People are never more stupid than when they accept this blind-faith line of thinking, because they are conceding to their own ignorance. They refuse to consume something because they are ignorant of it. Furthermore, everything you see is a chemical! Everything you lay eyes on is composed of chemicals in various arrangements and structures. So to say that you do not consume chemicals means that you do not consume anything, neither can you even breathe the air, because you would be taking in various chemicals into your lungs.

What most people mean is that they do not want to consume any artificial, man-made chemicals.

This is also insipid because it assumes that what chemicals occur naturally are better for you than what is created by man. This mode of reasoning is faulty at the core. See the previous paragraph where a few natural but lethal plants are discussed. Antibiotics are synthetic, man-made, artificial compounds and can save your life if you need them. That is just one example that shows that what is natural is not necessarily “healthier” than what is unnatural. There is a difference in feeling healthy and actually being healthy.

What about other chemicals that aid in the war against anxiety and depression?

These are tremendous inventions, but they also can promote lethargy in people who take them. Taking antidepressants can cause weight gain and avoidance of exercise, but they also prevent us from having our faith damaged while it is brought under siege by our emotions and depression. Anti-anxiety medications can bring peace of mind to those who never experience it, yet they can encourage gluttony. There may be no clear cut answer to the questions about many different drugs, and there are very few circumstances in Christianity that have any gray area.

All this to say that we are not attacking the use of caffeine, what we are attacking is a behavior and a pattern of thought manifested by many religious people. The same religious people who condemn drugs use drugs.

Mantra

Think rationally about faith at all times.

Application

You have to decide for yourself what you think about chemical aid. This section is not meant to condemn certain drugs or encourage others. The sole purpose of this section is to get you to think critically about why some drugs/chemicals are fine to consume while others are not. You must get in the habit of thinking critically and must also avoid mindlessly swallowing the traditions and doctrines of men. You must understand all sides of a debate if you truly want to find out the truth of a matter, and this applies to drugs also.

There will always be debate in the church about what drugs you can and cannot take.

You have to use your own mind and think logically about what everyone in the church is saying about drugs. Ask yourself: “Are they speaking based on the Bible or based on their emotions? Is what they are saying simply the passing down the traditional thought they have heard all their lives? Are my teachers thinking critically, or do they want to avoid critical thinking in favor of more passive forms of thought like tradition and blind acceptance?”

Once you ask yourself these questions, begin to reject philosophies of people who speak from emotions rather than logic. Emotions have no place in the discussion of religion, faith and drugs. You will inevitably encounter someone who has lost a family member to an illegal drug overdose and therefore rejects every single form of mind altering chemical. The loss of a family member is tragic, but it does not confer expertise in any area related to the death of that family member. Meaning if you lose a family member to drugs, it does not immediately make you an expert on drugs, nor does it give you the right to promote your agenda regarding drugs. You must exclusively use logic in every aspect of your faith.

Additionally, all chemical drugs have a spectrum of use: some men use them moderately, others abuse them by chronically taking high doses.

It tends to follow that any drug that is abused will have negative effects on the body. Too much caffeine can start to wear out hormone producing glands or wear out the circulatory pathways of the body. Too much alcohol kills you instantly, yet we constantly use various microdoses of alcohol as medicines. Interesting to note, too much water can kill you as well

Any chemical compound whose name ends in “-ol” is an alcohol compound. It will not make you drunk, and it helps other compounds dissolve and absorb in the body. This is the difference between use and abuse: abuse pushes so far past ‘use’ that excessive negative effects ensue. Even the threshold of abuse will vary from person to person. So many variables make the spiritual question of chemicals and drugs difficult, and are the reason why so many Christians want to avoid the question all together, because asking the questions would require them to think long and hard about what they believe, and no one wants to do that.

There are also two primary logical fallacies you will want to avoid when thinking about drugs:

Fallacy 1 – Avoid using 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 as a trump card that alleviates you of the responsibility of thinking.

When most Christians cannot make a rational argument against a drug or compound or even a behavior, they result in using God as a tool for their own agenda. They claim that because the body is a temple of God, we should not be putting these chemicals into our body.

“Because the body is the Temple of God, you should be a vegan”-
Person taking Scripture out of context.

This argument is irreverent because this passage is taken out of context. In 1 Corinthians 6 the apostle Paul is talking about sexual integrity, which means you cannot take that passage and make it apply to every single question of the physical body. The Christian who uses this argument is not rational enough to think through his faith logically, so he resorts to using scripture quoted out of context to justify his generic, commonplace and ignorant thinking about an issue.

If you are going to make a case against a chemical of some kind, you need to do more than twist the Scripture to suit your own narrative – this isn’t mainstream politics.

Fallacy 2 – You must ask the question, “Does this compound affect my sobriety?”

The only rational, scripture based argument against various chemical compounds is the fact that some of them reduce sobriety and lead us to other sins.

If we are drunk, we are not watching for temptation and we are exponentially more likely to do something stupid. If the compound I want to take reduces my ability to conduct myself like a man, I should avoid it. However, if the compound increases my sobriety, who could argue against it?

These are dangerous waters of thought for the rational Christian, as other weak Christians may call it ‘heresy’. You may want to argue for DMT or other psychedelics because they supposedly increase sobriety and allegedly put you in contact with God directly. No one knows what really happens with these compounds, and no Christians speak about them openly which is why there will be eternal debate about it. Again, this paragraph is not encouraging or arguing for the use of any of these drugs, it is only encouraging you to apply rational thought to every one of your philosophies instead of simply swallowing what your parents day.

You will have to decide for yourself what you think of drugs.

Think through your faith.

Use your mind.

Fortify your belief.

Use every available weapon against the adversary.

Conduct yourselves like men.

Sources
1. Association of the anxiogenic and alerting effects of caffeine with ADORA2A and ADORA1 polymorphisms and habitual level of caffeine consumption

2. How can someone die from drinking too much water?

3. Understanding the Dangers of Alcohol Overdose

4. Antidepressants and weight gain: What causes it?

5. When Your Antidepressant Makes You Tired

6. Caffeine Toxicity

7. Anxiety

8. Crush Anxiety

9. Secular Reasons To Avoid Drunkenness

Determination – Discipline Maintained

The mind must be firmly centered on the goal. The thoughts must be focused on what we are aiming to achieve. We are trying to live as Men of principle and integrity and this is not going to happen magically or passively. We must be determined to be the type of men who can be respected and looked up to in the community. This takes an investment of work and energy and a focused purpose of mind.

“Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one receives the prize? So run that you may obtain it. Every athlete exercises self-control in all things. They do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable. So I do not run aimlessly; I do not box as one beating the air. But I discipline my body and keep it under control, lest after preaching to others I myself should be disqualified.”
1 Corinthians 9:24-27

Purpose begins with improving ourselves before we ever attempt to improve or coach anyone else. We cannot teach others what we ourselves do not know, and no one would listen to us even if we did know. No one listens to a nutritionist who is obese, or a music teacher who cannot read sheet music. Everyone must first prove that they practice what they are trying to teach before people will listen to what they have to say. The same principle applies to determination. If we are not determined in our own lives, we cannot help people be determined in theirs.

Determination rejects fatigue, weariness and lack of focus.

It obliterates laziness and weakness of the will. Determination is a function of how well defined your visions and goals are. Without crystal clear goals for the improvement of the self, you cannot hope to be consistently determined. You might be able to stay focused for an hour, a day or a year, but eventually you will falter because your vision is not clear enough. This must be changed, men must have goals from which they derive their determination.

Determination is also a form of grit that allows us to progress even in dire circumstances. It keeps us moving when our emotions tell us that we deserve some rest. You deserve nothing. You must earn everything. Determination is a mindset that results in aggressive action taken in the pursuit of our goals. Without a firm determination, we fall off the path of discipline and we lose the grounding of focus that we have in our minds.

Mantra

My goal is before me, and I will achieve it at all costs.

Application

What is your vision for your life? How determined you are depends on the clarity of that vision. How clear are your goals? The ability to stay disciplined in your life depends on how rock solid your goals are. Therefore, the first step to a determined and rock hard, determined personality is to establish goals and a vision for your life. It is hard to improve when you do not know where you want to go.

Focus your mind intensely on your goals and dreams.

The vision creates the motivation and discipline.

The motivation creates the action.

And the discipline maintains the action.

We continue on this path until we accomplish our goals. Once our goals are achieved, we must instantly make new goals or we will become complacent and begin to decay. Continuing to add new goals and visions allows us to maintain our determination. Determination creates progress, and progress creates happiness and a form of satisfaction in life.

Create your vision.

Form your goals.

Construct a character of impeccable architecture.

Conduct yourselves like men.

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