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Sorrow – How to Think About It

You do not have to lose a family member or end a relationship to feel sorrow.

“The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit”.
Psalm 34:18

“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God”
2 Corinthians 1:3-4

“My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.”
Psalm 73:26

The biggest misconceptions about sorrow or depression is the idea that they are dependent on circumstances. There is a difference between having tragic events happen to you and being “formally” or clinically depressed and sorrowful. Sorrow pervades the heart on good days as well as on bad ones. Sorrow is an emotion that is the product of our thoughts. What we meditate on in our thoughts will determine what kinds of emotions are produced in our mind.

Sorrow is independent of circumstances, and can be a function of personality.

The Proverb writer says, “even in laughter, the heart may sorrow” (Proverbs 14:13). Even when we laugh, our mind returns to what troubles us. Sorrow originates and exists in our minds, and this is what separates it from mourning or grief which are caused by external circumstances.

The second misconception revolves around the idea that it is wrong to feel sorrow. it is not wrong to feel sorrow just as it is not wrong to feel happiness. Weak people tend to think that emotions that feel bad are evil and emotions that are pleasurable are good. This is absurdity, emotions are emotions, how they make us feel is insignificant. Emotions are chemical reactions in the brain, many of which are guided by our thoughts. We as Men must master all of our emotions, positive and negative. Positive emotions can blind us to the truth by making us certain of what we already know, negative emotions disillusion us to reality by painting a neutral reality in a pessimistic light. We must remain in control of all emotions, never allowing them to catch us off guard or affect our thoughts while we are unaware of them.

Sorrow is natural and occurs regularly in the mind of man.

There is more than enough pain on the earth to trigger sorrow in our mind. We should not think poorly of ourselves because we experience sorrow often, as this will only cause us additional sorrow. We as men must simply outlast the sorrow, and it does go away.

Mantra

From the pain of sorrow arises the goodness of growth.

Application

Accept and do not repress your sorrow. Repression never leads to a cure. Avoidance of pain never leads to the resolving of that pain.

Search for the source of your sorrow. What are the doubts, questions or fears living in your mind that are causing you sorrow? Is life itself causing you sorrow? Most Christians avoid making statements like that because life is supposed to be a “gift”.

Once you find the source of your sorrow, you must defeat it by slowly working out each and every doubt and fear through logic and reason. In time you slowly untie the massive knot of doubt and it becomes smaller and smaller as you move to the center. You untie it by asking questions about your questions:

Is the fear rational?

What childhood pain is the root cause of this fear I am experiencing?

Identification of the problem is a major blow to the fear you are suffering.

Through the process of logic you reduce fear and sorrow to nothingness. And if sorrow returns periodically or during your episode of depression, you already know how to outlast it. This is a key strategy: endurance. At times you will simply have to outlast your discomfort. Prepare your mind for the siege by stockpiling supplies: positive role models, stories of inspiration about men who overcame the odds or defeated their sorrow, and the understanding that this sorrow will pass.

Do not complain about your sorrow, that is for the weak. Deal with your pain and master it yourself. By doing this you strengthen your character and make yourself the kind of man who could help someone else with their sorrow.

Cast aside your fear and sorrow.

Defeat the demons that live in your mind.

Endure every attack of the enemy.

Build a fortress of logic around your mind.

Conduct yourselves like men.

The Whole Nine Yards

The Whole Nine Yards is a War term. Some World War II fighter planes would be manned by two men, one pilot and one gunner. The pilot is in charge of the maneuvers of the plane and giving tips for shooting while the gunner’s job is to shoot down enemy planes. While flying in combat, the pilot would look for enemy planes, and if he saw one, he would shout instructions to the gunner. These instructions were about how many rounds to fire at the opposition forces, and he would shout these instructions in terms of various lengths of distance, usually yards.

So instead of shouting “fire fifty rounds at that plane”, he would shout “give em’ two yards”. The gunner would then fire two yards from the belt of ammo. The entire length of one ammunition belt was nine yards. In dire circumstances, life or death situations, the pilot would shout to the gunner, “Give them the whole nine yards”. Fire every round on the belt because our plane could be shot down.

“Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men”
Colossians 3:23

“Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with your might, for there is no work or thought or knowledge or wisdom in Sheol, to which you are going”
Ecclesiastes 9:10

“Training us to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in the present age”
Titus 2:12

How many men in the religious world have that type of mentality about their faith, family or career?

Few, if any. Most men are content to warm a pew for a few hours each week. Most men are fine with thinking about faith once or twice a week, more often than most of them have sex with their wives. Where are the men who are willing to put forth an extreme effort to preserve what is valuable to them?

There are very few men left who are willing to fire the whole nine yards at anything in life. If men refuse to give extreme effort in their faith, then they will be unwilling to give extreme effort anywhere. The man whose faith is so worthless to him that he would not sacrifice life and limb for it will not sacrifice for anything lesser such as career, property or even family.

We as men must be willing to fire every single round in the belt in the name of faith, family and life. Only through tremendous effort can anything of value be built, protected and preserved. The Christian faith requires a Spartan-like intensity to defend, and it is a faith that requires the whole nine yards of our character to maintain until death.

Mantra

Hit the enemy with the whole nine yards.

Application

Start getting comfortable with discomfort. Tell your mind that you enjoy discomfort because it is getting you closer to your goals. Giving the whole nine yards is not glamorous or fun in the same way that military boot camp is not glamorous or fun for those who served.

Stop chasing dramatized ideals that populate the highlight reels in worldly endeavors.

Highlights are exactly that: mere strands of time that are forgotten. Highlights are almost instantly replaced with new highlights and the old hero is forgotten. Don’t chase the type of glory that doesn’t last.

Condition yourself to give more and more effort over time. With practice, you learn to generate more and more horsepower and your power of will grows ever stronger. This strength originates in the mind.

You must believe that you have the ability to exhibit Spartan-esque toughness and soundness of mind.

You must practice giving the whole nine yards in the small events in life. If you cannot take small situations or jobs seriously and give them your maximum effort, you will never be able to give the maximum effort when it counts. Maximum effort is a habit.

Be faithful in little in order to be considered worthy to have the opportunity to be faithful in much (Luke 16:10). Every great work of architecture started with single bricks and planks of wood that were laid one piece at a time. Your character is that great structure, so do the work now that will allow you to have a tremendous character later in life.

Give the nine yards at all times.

Do not let the small events pass you by, others will notice if you cut corners or think you are above the small tasks.

Work like men.

Conduct yourselves like men.

David – Warlord – Warrior – Writer

We typically think of King David as the peaceful writer of the Psalms. He was the man who expressed his emotions so nobly and sincerely in his writing that most people picture him as emotional or as a “big softie”. I think this is a mistake and a result of only looking at David at the surface level. Sure, if you judge David by the Psalms alone, you will see his emotional being, but you must also look at his actions.

This brief article is dedicated to giving you an additional perspective on David so that you may think of his as the Warlord he was. David was a servant of God and a King inside his walls, but he was also a barbarian filled with bloodlust when it came time to step on the battlefield.

“And as the women danced, they sang out: “Saul has slain his thousands, and David his tens of thousands.” And Saul was furious and resented this song. “They have ascribed tens of thousands to David,” he said, “but only thousands to me. What more can he have but the kingdom?”
1 Samuel 18:7-8

What type of man has it in him to kills tens of thousands of people? Answer: A man with a barbaric will to kill. Modern soldiers today talk about traits that would be important in recruits who are looking to join the military. Jocko Willink says the two foundational characteristics of a soldier are “The will to kill and the will to die”. Without these a man cannot be a true warrior who performs to the best of his ability.

To put David’s number of kills in perspective, let’s think about not only the quantity but also the type of kills that David was accumulating.

These weren’t long distance kills with a gun from far away, these were face-to-face, hand-to-hand kills.

We would never disrespect or downplay the importance of modern military men, but these guys are not even having to look at the men they are killing much of the time, and they still get PTSD when they come home. Now imagine having to kill men face to face and what that must do to the psyche of a human being.

If shooting a man can give you PTSD, what would decapitating a man do to your mind? How would your mind handle impaling enemies or severing arms and legs and getting covered in their blood? What would splitting the skull of an enemy do to your mental state? This was the state of the old school warfare that David was engaging in, yet we still think of him primarily as peaceful and emotional.

May I suggest to you that a man capable of killing ten thousand men is an absolute warlord.

This man was a master of compartmentalization. Nothing could phase him. Still, the mental burden David carried must have been so tremendous that it would crush many of us men who are accustomed to the soft, modern world.

David was a man of war even from his youth. There was obviously some sort of warrior spirit in him before he ever even saw the field of combat. The Bible speaks about David:

“But David said to Saul, “Your servant used to keep his father’s sheep, and when a lion or a bear came and took a lamb out of the flock,I went out after it and struck it, and delivered the lamb from its mouth; and when it arose against me, I caught it by its beard, and struck and killed it.Your servant has killed both lion and bear; and this uncircumcised Philistine will be like one of them, seeing he has defied the armies of the living God.” Moreover David said, “The Lord, who delivered me from the paw of the lion and from the paw of the bear, He will deliver me from the hand of this Philistine.”
1 Samuel 17:34-37

Anyone who has ever killed an animal, even a small one knows that taking life changes a man in specific ways. A man who has the fortitude to kill a bear by hand is a warrior.

The man who grabs a lion by the beard and kills it is able to channel his inner darkness into the craft of war.

David was killing animals from his youth and would eventually progress to the battlefield and take his first human life, as far as we know based on what was recorded. This is the account of David and Goliath. David would throw a stone directly into Goliath’s Forehead and then chop off his head with his own sword.

Now maybe it was somewhat of a cultural thing to chop heads and take them around, but that was still barbaric. Only a man of war could do such a thing. Even in socially acceptable animal kills like deer, men still get sick to their stomach the first time they gut the deer. Now imagine chopping off a human head, that is something that would be difficult to stomach. But it would nevertheless be fair play on the field of war.

So it was, when the Philistine arose and came and drew near to meet David, that David hurried and ran toward the army to meet the Philistine.Then David put his hand in his bag and took out a stone; and he slung it and struck the Philistine in his forehead, so that the stone sank into his forehead, and he fell on his face to the earth.So David prevailed over the Philistine with a sling and a stone, and struck the Philistine and killed him. But there was no sword in the hand of David.Therefore David ran and stood over the Philistine, took his sword and drew it out of its sheath and killed him, and cut off his head with it.
1 Samuel 17:48-51

David would then go on to live his life waging wars and killing men and yet simultaneously writing some of the most heartfelt songs and prayers ever recorded. How did he do this?

Extreme Compartmentalization

There is no doubt that David had to put his warlike nature in a box. This is necessary even today, and most men cannot do it. Many men engage in warfare and are damaged in their minds. They cannot bear the great burden of war and its consequences.

It could be that David also had forms of PTSD. No doubt there were nights when he would sit straight up in bed, awoken by a vivid dream recounting some of his battlefield kills. He likely dreamed he was being chased by men he had personally killed on the battlefield. Those types of dreams would have been a common side effect of such a large number of kills. David may have slept with Bathsheba to comfort his own mind because of how it was tormented from war. Or perhaps he was perfectly fine. Perhaps the mind of David was untroubled by all of the war he had engaged in, knowing it was righteous. Or perhaps David was not bothered because he had the very nature and spirit of a warlord.

Whatever the answer may be, you must begin to look at King David in a different light. He is not simply a mild-mannered writer of psalms. He is a man with blood on his hands. So much blood that God would not allow him to build the temple (2 Chronicles 22:5-10). You must also embody a warrior spirit in your own life by attacking your own weakness with warlike ferocity. You must compartmentalize your life so you are in command of your emotions. Attack everything with aggression and crush your enemies.

Wisdom II – Characteristics of Wise Men

“Listen to advice and accept instruction, that you may gain wisdom in the future.”
Proverbs 19:20

“The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man listens to advice.”
Proverbs 12:15

“An intelligent heart acquires knowledge, and the ear of the wise seeks knowledge.”
Proverbs 18:15

“Whoever restrains his words has knowledge, and he who has a cool spirit is a man of understanding. Even a fool who keeps silent is considered wise; when he closes his lips, he is deemed intelligent.”
Proverbs 17:27-28

There are two main types of wisdom that people think exist: earthly wisdom and spiritual/heavenly wisdom. Earthly wisdom comes from man, perhaps most notably from ancient philosophers and writers who have passed on what they have learned in life. Stoicism, teachings of Confucius, and existentialism are common examples of earthly wisdom that most people will recognize.

Earthly wisdom does not always come from a spiritual thinker, and earthly wisdom is not always wrong, contrary to what people in the religious world think.

Spiritual wisdom is what comes from spiritual teaching. For Christians, this spiritual teaching is the Bible and the writers of the Word.

Both spiritual and earthly wisdom are valuable which again is contrary to what you hear in the religious world. In fact, if you look deeply into earthly teachings, you will see connections to the spiritual teachings you have heard your whole life. Any real truth we extract from ancient writings, if it is really truth, must be somehow connected to the Word of God if we believe that the Bible is truth. All wisdom is connected.

“If you know the way broadly, you will see it in all things” ~
Miyamoto Musashi, Book of Five Rings.

If you know the Way of God Broadly, you will see it in all viable philosophy.

Take Stoicism for example, which was becoming popular around the time of the apostle Paul. The main idea of stoicism is to control how you react to and think about situations and life events. It teaches to control emotions instead of having them control you. Stoicism is all about managing the mind in order to live a good life. Now if you look at stoicism for more than two seconds before writing it off you will see that the main premise of it is self-control. And what is self-control but a fruit of the spirit? So stoicism actually turns out to be a potential in-depth philosophy for developing a fruit of the spirit. Facts like this make earthly wisdom useful.

Wisdom can be instruction on how to live and conduct yourself while you are among men. Wisdom is also used to describe other people. Men are wise if they behave and think in a certain manner. Wise men know how to use patience since they have cultivated it over a lifetime. Also, wise men know to look deeply at a situation, to analyze it before they search for a solution. Wise men understand that problems are temporary situations that lead to the growth of the individual.

Have you noticed that most of the wise men you know are generally quiet men?

They need and use very few words. Wise men let their actions speak for them and they understand that the man who talks much knows little and thinks even less.

The stereotype of a wise man is an ancient fellow with a long beard who speaks in vague, ominous phrases. This image did not appear magically since all stereotypes originate from some grain of truth. The wise man is eventually thought to be crazy, until his strange,vague and prophetic sayings turn out to have some truth to them – such is the benefit of speaking vaguely about the future.

To be wise, be silent. You must be wise, for there are very few truly wise men in the religious world today.

Mantra

Think much, speak little.

Application

The wise man considers all variables before he makes a decision. If it so happens that he makes a decision and something happens that he did not expect, he will remember that situation the next time he needs to contemplate a similar action. The man who is wise conducts himself in a way that causes the least amount of unnecessary or unprofitable pain to others.

The key trait of a man of wisdom is the ability to use foresight in actions. This is the manifestation of all wisdom. The wise man considers all of his steps well and thinks several moves ahead on the figurative chess board. The wise man is acutely aware of his surroundings in social situations. He places himself in the shoes of others and sees life through their eyes. By doing this he shapes his words actions to the personality of the person he is interacting with and wins their favor.

The wise man fears the Lord and therefore behaves righteously (Proverbs 1:7).

The wise man thinks before he acts in all situations. There are very few instances in which action should be taken before it is thoroughly contemplated. The wise man conducts himself with character and integrity in all that he does. He is completely honest and forthright with the truth, but he delivers it in such a way that it does not damage the recipient. If the recipient of the truth needs to be stuck on the head with truth, then the wise man knows it must be done. Certain personalities need to be beaten over the head with the truth in order to accept it,while others need to have the truth gently placed upon them, and they will absorb it all the same.

The wise man is masculine to his very core, and he knows never to suppress his masculinity because in its suppression the darkness of man will begin to simmer until it forces its way out. He gives all negative emotions constructive outlets and rules over his emotions with an iron fist. The wise man considers all variables in life at all times, and remains ever vigilant to the assault of evil on his mind and thoughts.

The wise man conducts himself like a man, so you must also conduct yourselves like men.

Actualization – Men Must Improve

“Practice these things, immerse yourself in them, so that all may see your progress”
1 Timothy 4:15

“And though your beginning was small, your latter days will be very great.”
Job 8:7

From: kopywritingkourse.com – Psychology of Marketing Using Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs

Psychologist Abraham Maslow put together a pyramid that organizes the main categories of human needs from the most basic necessities to advanced, high level desires. Needs on the bottom of the pyramid are the basic needs that must be fulfilled for basic survival: Food, water, shelter and sex – these are the physiological needs.

The second block is safety needs: Security, employment (in the modern day), and stability. Notice that this level cannot be achieved or even thought about until the basic necessities are provided.

The third block is love and belonging: friendship, personal intimacy, sexual intimacy and connection. Note the interesting fact that while the physical sexual need is on the lowest block, all basic necessities and security must be provided before sexual intimacy can take place. There is a difference between sex and sexual intimacy and you can see plenty of examples of that if you talk to your friends in the world. Also remember that this pyramid was created by a secular man. Obviously many people could have different experiences if they are Christians or not.

The fourth block is esteem: Respect, status and recognition. Obviously if you don’t have work or physical security then you will not be extremely worried about how others think of you until those needs are met.

The top of the pyramid is self-actualization: The need to be creative or to improve the self to the highest level possible. Self-Actualization is a need that should be important to Christian men.

Men in the church have almost all these needs met, except sex and respect. Note that even Jesus Himself tells us that our basic physical needs will be met (Matthew 6:24-35), ensuring that we can automatically focus on developing higher up on the pyramid.

Because modern men have most of their needs met, they have a very important need to improve and be creative in their lives. Christian men, and especially Christian men in America, are in a position where they do not have to worry about basic survival and, therefore, have time to contemplate existential and spiritual questions or think creatively.

There is a humorous image of a man who is being chased by a tiger in a jungle, and the man suddenly sits down and begins to write poetry. No man who has his basic physical survival challenged is going to worry about actualization. We never move on to the higher level needs until we have the lower needs satisfied. If we do not have food, we are not going to be that concerned with being respected. If we have no place to live, we are not going to be thinking about cultivating a sex life.

Men in the church almost never have their survival questioned.

Even if they fall into times of serious need, the social fabric of the church will catch them and support those basic needs. Men in the church no longer have excuses for the lack of improvement in their lives. There is no reason that any man should be the exact same year-to-year with little or no improvement on his character or skill set.

Men must also be creative and inject themselves into the creative pursuits that have been the arena of the secular men for generations. Christian men should be writing masculine music. Men need to write books and movies that promote Christian principles rather than berate them. Men need to excel in fields of science, mathematics and philosophy, instead of leaving all academics to the atheists. We as men must stop making excuses as to why we are not improving or producing anything useful with our lives.

Average men generate dozens of excuses as to why they are not improving, or why they are not even changing themselves in any way. We are not to be these types of men, but should rather be the type of men who improve. We are to build a new reputation for men in the church. This reputation should be one of character and masculinity, not of femininity and weakness. We must create a generation of men who are interested in continually sharpening their personal skills. The age of men who sit in the pews for decades decaying to nothingness is finished.

Mantra

Growth is life, maintenance is death.

Application

Get to work right now. Write down the characteristics of the man you want to be and start changing yourself. Start producing something, anything, there is no excuse for stagnation and lack of production in life. Write music, books and movies, do not worry about how terrible you think they are. Produce philosophy. Train your body and create a masterpiece. Train your mind and improve your thinking. It does not matter what you are producing, as long as you are creating something. It does not matter how you are improving yourself, it only matters that you are changing for the better rather than maintaining your pathetic state of existence.

Start by writing 100 words per day. At the end of the month you have 3,000 words. At the end of the year you have 36,000 words, that is the length of an average short novel these days, all created in about 5 minutes of writing per day.

Train the body every day.

Do not worry about what you are doing or whether or not it is on the cutting edge of scientific training, just train your body every day. It does not matter how long you train and it does not matter what you do, it only matters that you take action and train.

Start learning a musical instrument immediately. Learn the basic embarrassing songs and master them. Learn one new chord a day on the guitar, or learn one new rhythm pattern on the drums. Practice one scale a day on your instrument, never missing a day of practice. At the end of the year you will be better than 60% of people who claim to play that same instrument.

Most of the time it does not matter what you do, only that you do not remain stagnant.

Reject mediocrity.

Demolish your weakness and rebuild a fortress of strength from the rubble.

Develop the strength of your will.

Build your character to incredible heights.

Win the war over your thoughts.

Master your mind.

Create.

Build.

Conduct yourselves like men.

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