One of the mistakes that we all make yet is easily correctable is that we never evaluate ourselves. We never analyze our performance, behavior, or thoughts and look at what we are doing well and what we need to improve. This is partly because it is painful to take a nice, long look at our flaws. No one wants to dissect all the ways they come up short. But this analysis can massively improve your rate of growth. Both of your character and of your mentality.
In the military, every individual is evaluated based on their performance. They go into the office of a ranking official to hear how they are performing. There are even written feedback forms where they can see exactly where their weak points are. They go over what they are doing well on and what they need to improve. These men then implement the notes from the officer and strengthen their weak points and double down on their strong points. If evaluations are good enough for the military, they are good enough for us.
Tracking and analyzing behavior is the only surefire way to know what you are currently doing and if it is working or not.
If you never track your workouts, how can you know if you are improving your strength or endurance? You may say “Well I know I can do 35 pushups now, and last week I could only do 30. So, I do know that I am improving”. Well, then you are tracking your ability in your mind. Less effective, but you are still tracking and analyzing your performance. You are evaluating your progress and continuing to work.
I suggest to you that every single behavior and habit should be evaluated on a semi-regular basis. This allows you to see your personal trajectory over time. You do not have to start analyzing every single step you take. You are not doing an internal review on yourself. All you are doing is observing and analyzing behavior. I would suggest starting with just one trait that you currently have or that you want to develop. What are your current habits? What are some behaviors that you like or dislike? Pick any one of those and commit to evaluating them on various occasions.
Take gratitude for example. Say that you have analyzed your behavior and determined that you spend too much time complaining. Or perhaps you just want to improve your current level of gratitude.
For most people, that is where they would stop. They would just say to themselves, “I want to develop more gratitude in my life” and then do nothing about it. It essentially becomes like a New Year’s resolution that is never completed. This happens because there is no accountability, no written commitment to the behavior, and no evaluation of performance.
Start with deciding what you want to improve, for us, it is gratitude.
I know that gratitude can sometimes come off as one of those “soft” Christian principles. But remember that gratitude is the cure for the negative behavior of complaining. Also, remember that God hates complaining so much that He has killed people for it (Numbers 11).
After you have decided what to work on, you need to hold yourself accountable for that behavior.
I do not believe that external accountability is a useful long-term solution. In fact, accountability does not work. It creates weak men who sit in a circle of chairs crying about their problems. They have no strength because they have no need to develop any. What need is there to develop strength when you can lean on all of your friends as a crutch? Crutches are useful for a few days or weeks after an injury or surgery. Use them too long, and your body will adapt to them and never improve its own strength. So as far as accountability goes, you must be accountable only to yourself.
Third, make a written commitment.
You can do this in the same place where you will perform your evaluations. Get a notebook that you will use for your self-evaluations. At the top of the page put the trait you are working on. Then on the first line put the written commitment to develop it and give it a deadline.
“By August 25th, 2021, I will have reduced my habit of complaining to no more than four times per week maximum and I will express gratitude for my possessions at least twice per day”.
With that line completed, you have done more than the majority of average people do in their lives. Perhaps only 10% of the world has written goals with deadlines to complete them. When you make this statement, you put yourself in that top 10%.
Now that you have your self-accountability, your goal, and your written commitment, now you can get ready to evaluate yourself.
You need to determine what behaviors will be acceptable and unacceptable. Then you need to assign values to various levels of performance. By that, I mean that just as you get certain grades in school based on how well you do, you must also give yourself a “grade” based on how well you perform your new behavior. You can give yourself letter grades (A, B, C, D, F), Number grades (0-5, 0-10, etc.), or come up with your own system. The point is that you have clear delimitation between grades so you can give yourself feedback on your performance.
Decide what each grade means:
A – Perfect performance. Zero complaints and three separate expression of gratitude.
B – Expressed gratitude once.
C – Did not express gratitude.
D – Did not express gratitude; complained once.
F – Complained all day.
Your list does not have to look anything like this. This is just to give you an idea. You can change the expectations and standards however you wish and grade yourself accordingly. The important part is that you are grading yourself and working to make improvements.
I would also suggest that you carry a small notebook with you, preferably one that can fit in your pocket. In this book, you can make notes about your performance throughout the day. It does not have to be drawn out; it could be simple bullet points. The point here is that you do not want to trust your memory when it comes to your performance.
Unless you are carrying around your evaluation notebook everywhere you go, you will need a book for field notes.
Then once you get home for the day, you can look at your performance, and jot more notes in the main notebook. You can look at what you did well and what you did poorly. When you perform poorly, try to determine what leads to that. Did you start complaining because you were hanging around negative people? Did you encounter stress in the day and that caused you to let down your guard? Try to determine what was the cause of the unsatisfactory performance.
Then do the same with your good days. On those days when you perform extremely well, look for the roots of success. Discover what thought patterns, behaviors lead to gratitude. What people were you around and what thoughts did you have that caused you to be thankful?
The point of looking at what influenced your behavior is so you can either modify or maintain those circumstances. If your environment influenced you negatively, you need to modify it. If you were inspired to be more positive by your surroundings, then try to replicate those situations again.
Then determine how often you are going to do your main evaluation.
This is where you sit down and go over in detail your performance over a period of time. Here you are really getting to the bottom of your behavior and looking at everything you are currently doing and how you can improve.
Repeat this evaluation process over the weeks and you have no choice but to see improvements. Most people refuse to evaluate their performance, so they stay in the same place you years. You can skyrocket past them with this simple exercise.
