Honesty is missing in the church because the truth is painful for both the man who speaks it and the man who hears it. A man is always looking to avoid or reduce his pain, so he sacrifices virtue for the sake of comfort. He throws away righteousness for the sake of safety. We cannot behave this way. There is no character growth in the comfort zone. No one ever improved himself through pleasure. Character is not developed in ease of life. Your character is developed when you make decisions with real world consequences.
“Lying lips are an abomination to the Lord, but those who act faithfully are his delight”
Proverbs 12:22
“Better is a poor person who walks in his integrity than one who is crooked in speech and is a fool.”
Proverbs 19:1
“Do not lie to one another, seeing that you have put off the old self with its practices”
Colossians 3:9
Back to the principles of honesty, one reason we must be honest is because the adversary is dishonest. The devil is a liar and the sons of the devil are liars (John 8:44).
Lying is the verbal manifestation of cowardice.
The liar is a worm of a man and he is the living embodiment of all that is despised by masculinity. There is no excuse for lying. Neither are there excuses for “white lies”. No evil can be justified in a way in which the evil is removed. Even if evil is done for a “good reason”, it is still evil. Even if we are lying to “protect others”, we are still lying, and in truth, we are likely only protecting ourselves from pain. Therefore, we must be completely honest at all times.
This is not to say we should embrace brute honesty, for that profits very little unless used on specific personality types that respond well to the blunt truth.
We should be merciful and gentle when we administer the truth to an individual, just as a doctor is gentle when he administers an injection to a patient. The doctor does not ram the needle into the patient’s arm as hard as he can, there would be no profit in that. We ourselves must be strategic in the way we verbally package the truth: never diluting or sugar coating it, but never soaking it in vinegar either.
Christ was always honest with others, always prioritizing the truth over the emotions of the person who is hearing the truth. He knew that a person offended by truth simply has too much ego to accept what He had to say, at least in the moment in which He said it. We should evaluate the person we are speaking to. How big is his ego? How well can he accept the truth of a statement? The answers to these questions then give us an idea of how to package the truth. And it varies from circumstance to circumstance.
Perhaps this person needs to have his ego brought down a few notches, and so you decide to give him the full, blunt truth as Christ did with the Pharisees on occasion (Matthew 12:34, 23:27). Perhaps the individual is hypersensitive to words and will completely shut down if he is given the truth in a blunt way, so you cloak the truth he needs with words of encouragement or complimentary statements to soften the hit. Whatever you decide to do, you must be strategic. But above all, you must be honest.
“Be completely Honest in all that you do” ~ Marine Boot Camp: Introductory Speech
The honest man also does not avoid situations in which he must confess to what he has done. He does not hide the truth or attempt to justify what he did, he merely confesses, accepts punishments and improves himself as a result. This is painful. Remember that pain almost always equals growth. Do not hide or cover up the truth because that is for the weak.
Mantra
Be completely honest in all that you do.
Application
To use honesty strategically is the primary idea of this section. This section was similar to “Truth” so you can refer there to get a different perspective on the same concept.
Strategic honesty involves assessing the person you are speaking to and gauging how you should deliver honest statements to him.
You must always be honest no matter what. How direct, confrontational or “offensive” you are will vary from person to person. Some people need to be punched in the face with truth before they will ever make a change. These are the same people who never change an unhealthy lifestyle until they are diagnosed with a disease.
Other people will never change if they are hit with a painful truth. There is a difference between sugar coating the truth and delivering a hard truth in a soft manner. You must use your knowledge of people to determine how you will act. No matter what, you must be honest.
If you are caught in a fault, confess it. Never be dishonest or you will damage your reputation and character. Those are invaluable pieces of your individuality so do not lessen their worth.
Never hide what you have done wrong.
Never lie.
And never deceive.
Be the bearer of truth and a beacon of honesty in a weak, effeminate and dishonest world.
Conduct yourselves like men.
