You have to manage your presentation. The way you present yourself to others is key to your success.
The only way to maintain a degree of control over the impression you deliver and the power you have is through your visual presentation. Your body language, your expressions, your verbal articulations. All other power maneuvers come down through this outlet. Presentation is the delivery mechanism by which you make your move in this world.
This is a lesson you learn from the scripture as well. Nehemiah was a cupbearer for the king of the time. This is a highly trusted position, as one of Nehemiah’s roles would be to screen the king’s drink for poison.
When working in the presence of the king, he always managed his presentation. You cannot have a bad day in front of the king. You cannot be negative in front of the king. Your very life may depend on the king’s emotional equilibrium, which will be affected by the way you present yourself.
It was not until Nehemiah was aware of the condition of Jerusalem in Nehemiah 2:1-2 that he was unable to maintain a positive appearance in the presence of the king. In fact, look at what the scripture says.
“And it came to pass in the month of Nisan, in the twentieth year of King Artaxerxes, when wine was before him, that I took the wine and gave it to the king. Now I had never been sad in his presence before. 2 Therefore the king said to me, “Why is your face sad, since you are not sick? This is nothing but sorrow of heart.””
Nehemiah 2:1-2
Look at what is recorded for us to learn.
Nehemiah had never once been sad in the presence of the king. If you want an example of self-control this is it. Or if you want an example of managing your presentation in public appearance, this is also it.
Where do we go wrong when we interact with others? It’s when others can tell just by looking at us that we aren’t ourselves. It’s when we give away that we’re having a bad day by our facial expressions. I’m not saying that we can’t have bad days, stress, or difficulty. I’m saying we don’t let it show. If people can tell something is wrong with you just by looking at you, they are in a perfect position to manipulate you. The emotional man is the manipulated man.
It is the role of a man to suppress that type of behavior. I know it’s no longer popular to say that men should do traditionally masculine things like manage their emotions, but as you well know as a reader of Spartan Christianity, I don’t really care what people find popular. A man has to manage his emotional state and, if he is having a bad day, return it to its original state of equilibrium as quickly as he can.
The man is the Bedrock of the family unit. If he’s unstable, the entire family unit’s unstable.
So even though he doesn’t have to be an emotionless robot [though I think he should manage his emotions as well] he does have the incredible responsibility of never letting the people he is leading [his family] know that he’s having a bad day. Men don’t get to have bad days. The crushing burdens of performance will beat a man down if he starts to show his bad days.
Let’s learn our lesson from Nehemiah: manage your presence in front of other people, and other leadership. If you’re working, never let your boss or customers know you’re having a bad day. You don’t get to have a bad day. Additionally, no one cares if you do have a bad day as a man. And in fact, if you act like you’re not having a bad day, it won’t take too long before you forget that you weren’t having a bad day, and that will be back to a neutral day, maybe even a good one.
But it doesn’t matter how it turns out. All that matters is how you act. Actions are everything. Emotions and intentions are nothing. Motivations or nothing. Don’t obsess yourself with how you’re feeling, obsess yourself with how you’re acting.
Manage your presence in front of the king. Don’t let anyone know that you’re having a Down day.
You are an actor on stage. And your mask is one of masculine self-control. The goal is to eventually replace that mask with truly integrated masculine self-control that has no choice but to leak out of you. But until that moment comes, act like a man. Even if you don’t feel like one, act like one. And by acting like one you’ll eventually feel like one.
