Lean Into the Resistance

Our first reaction to being hit by some outside force, some adversity is to shrink away from it. I propose that men must retrain themselves to suppress this instinct and instead lean into the resistance. 

I learned an interesting fact from the Huberman Lab podcast. We commonly think of the hormone testosterone as being the manly hormone. It is associated with sex drive and muscle mass, among a myriad of other manly products. But it also acts to make effort feel good.

It makes it enjoyable to lean into the resistance.

Perhaps this is why men find great enjoyment in various sports, despite their difficulty. Otherwise, why would a man think it is reasonable to deadlift 800 pounds? He could have proved that he was a man of strength 300 pounds earlier. But partially due to this additional effect of testosterone men pursue things that are difficult. This is natural for us. In fact, we cannot thrive without real resistance. This cannot be resistance fabricated by society, it must be real. 

Think of the cultures and societies in the modern age that were robbed of resistance.

Related Recommended Reading: Leverage the Darkness

Consider Native American Indians who were given so much because of how leftists claim they were treated. They were given land, business, tax advantages, preferential selection in business and college, yet they are failures. They have incredibly high rates of alcoholism and diabetes and have failed to make use of the opportunities they have been given. 

Think of the black community. Culture continues to promote the idea that racism is growing and prominent in the world. They say that blacks have been kept down and treated badly and are still treated poorly in the world. What good has this done the black community? What good has this done to their rates of single motherhood and poverty? 

By making these two groups believe they are the victim of some crime, one of the many consequences is that this robs them of their freedom to lean into the resistance. Instead of being encouraged to work against a real adversary, they are made the victim of a crime. This is a passive attitude and robs men of the ability to be manly. 

What we need to do is learn to lean into the resistance of life. Instead of shirking away, playing the victim, or accepting limitations, we must learn to lean into the adversity and convert it into strength.

The next time you find yourself hitting some adversity, real or simulated, lean into it. Learn to attack adversity and convert it into strength. You can do this in a simulated manner in the gym. Learn to lean into the effort of your training instead of thinking of it as suffering. In doing so you will become more of a man.

The Root of the Law of God

Every command of God has a rational root.

Every now and again you will see a video on the internet where an interviewer stops ordinary people on the street to ask them questions. Usually, it is something about current events or their political affiliation. But once and a while you may find one where the interviewer stops a person and asks them to recite some historical fact from the annals of ancient or American history. Inevitably the person – typically a youth – who is asked the question has no idea what the correct answer is.

Then that youth will be decimated in the comments section of the video or even in public discussion. 

Kids today don’t know anything about history!” 

This is why we are in trouble, kids don’t know XYZ facts about the Revolutionary War

The school system is garbage! If t was any good, kids would know this stuff.

The list could go on ad infinitum. 

But each criticism misses the main point, a point we often miss in religion as well. Is it bothersome that young people are ignorant of history or the fact that ignorance of history will manifest in a lack of wisdom in decision making? A person who cannot recognize the cycles of history cannot be counted on to be an intelligent leader of men. 

Yet you rarely hear this explanation. Most people are angry at young kids simply because they do not know their history. That is where the criticism stops. The symptom of ignorance is treated with the severity of a disease. But memorizing dates and places was never the point of learning history. It is more than memorizing dates and times. The study of history is a study of human nature. It is a study of how we as creatures of habit continue to make the same set of cyclic decisions across time.

But this is never discussed in history class. Many, but not all,  history classes are taught by coaches whose main goal was to coach high school sports, but in order to do ao they must teach a class, so they choose history and inevitably teach it poorly. 

We are angered at the symptom (a lack of basic historical knowledge) rather than the disease itself (a fundamental lack of the understanding of human nature through the lens of the past). 

It, therefore, becomes less of a surprise that young people cannot be motivated to learn history without an understanding of that deeper purpose. If they knew they were learning about human nature, about how to earn more money or make better decisions, or to avoid poor decisions n the future, they might sing a different tune about the study of history. But, as is the main mode of motivation used by conservatives, they simply attempt to shame the youth into studying. 

As much as I am a fan of the proper application of shame to avert negative behavior, I do not believe it is the most efficient tool in motivating positive behaviors. Nor should it be the tool that is used exclusively when trying to promote positive behaviors and avoid negative ones. Mainly because many people no longer have a functional sense of shame as a whole. To use shame as the primary motivator is to ask a diesel engine to run on octane fuel. Individuals do not have the requisite desire to be a part of society or a moral social fabric that would make the tool of shame such an effective choice for motivating good behavior. Godlessness and chronic immorality damage the ability to sense shame (1 Timothy 4:2), therefore shame cannot be used to motivate good behavior. No one feels ashamed anymore in the godless society of the 21st century. 

Therefore it is critical that we understand the root reasons why we should behave in the specific manner outlined by God and small societies that follow God.

Just as it is important to communicate the true reasons for studying history, we must understand the foundational reasons why we should study the law and commands of God. But just like with history, we do not understand the root reason to learn God’s word. 

Think about many of the assorted commands of God. How often is it that you hear a well-articulated treatise on the rationality that rests under every law of God? It is quite rare. We hear the commands, which are undoubtedly important. But we hear them without understanding the “Why” behind those commands; a “why” which every single command of God possesses. God does not make arbitrary rules to reduce human enjoyment of life.

Every forbiddance is a guardrail to protect humanity from the negative consequences of that behavior. But commands are seldom taught that way in religion.
history

We teach the commands but nothing more. We teach about the importance of staying on one side of the guardrail rather than explaining how the guardrail exists to prevent us from falling off a ledge. And we can easily see how ineffective that tactic is based on public opinion of religion, church retention rates, and the self-professed lack of engagement many Christians feel towards religion. People need more than “Do not do XYZ just because”. If every command of God is a guardrail protecting us from suffering, then we must understand how violating God’s commands inevitably leads to suffering. Then we are better equipped to appreciate God’s effort to protect us from those consequences, rather than viewing His commands as arbitrary. 

As an example, think about the teachings on modesty. If you think about a sermon on modesty, what comes to your mind? Is it an understanding of how humans will behave relative to the way they are dressed (i.e. dress like a prostitute, act like a prostitute)? It is a deeper study on simple human biology? Do preachers dive deep into the chain reaction that results when people are not disciplined in what they wear?

No. Essentially all you hear is dogma and command with no rationality behind it. The command of modesty is a good one, but every teacher forgets the “why”. Many times this is because preachers are too scared to broach any topic related to sexuality from the pulpit. Many Christians are still pretending that sex does not exist and that babies magically generate in their women’s wombs. They do this to “protect their children”, of course. Though in reality, they are merely protecting themselves; attempting to preserve their perception of their child’s sense of innocence. 

Every command of God can be explained rationally, but it is easier for Christians to simply recite the command than to do the difficult work of thought required to mine out those rational reasons underlying each command. It is true that God gave commands and therefore we should follow them. But it is not true that we should simply blindly recite commands without looking to understand why exactly God instituted those regulations, to begin with. 

Every action has a result. Every sinful action has a result as well, and it is universally negative in the long term. The commands of God exist to protect humanity from the negative long-term effects of sin, despite their short-term benefits (benefits which religion will again pretend do not exist, further isolating subsequent generations of religious youth from the rigid discipline of the previous generations). That is the root of the law, and that is why the commands must be studied.

History must be studied to learn human nature and to be watchful for the ebbs and flows of humanity over time. Study history to become a better student of human nature, not to amass a collection of facts, dates, and places. 

Study the commands of God not only so you can recite and follow them correctly, but so you can also understand the deep and profound logic that rests as the foundation to every command of God.

Israel is Separated from Other Nations

One of the greatest examples of seeing God’s intention to separate His people from the rest of the world is found in His commands to Israel. They were to be separate from all the other nations. There could be no intermarrying or relationships.

This is because the incredibly negative influence of the other nations would be so powerful that it might sway Israel towards evil. And in fact, it did sway them time and time again. We read in the book of Judges how over and over again the people of Israel disobey God, worship idols, intermarry with the locals, and behave poorly.

“You shall not intermarry with them, giving your daughters to their sons or taking their daughters for your sons, for they would turn away your sons from following me, to serve other gods. Then the anger of the Lord would be kindled against you, and he would destroy you quickly.”

Deuteronomy 7:3-4
It is easy to understand why they did this. It was because of the sexual activity involved in the various worship services of the foreign gods.

But some in the modern world might wonder why God did not allow them to intermarry so they could be a “good influence” on the people of Canaan. We are too simplistic in our thinking if we are contemplating this. We should know that the pull of a negative influence is far more powerful than the pull of a positive one. And we will always be more drawn towards evil than towards good. This is simply a part of the human condition, something we must think about as we do war with the flesh.

“For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh. They are in conflict with each other, so that you are not to do whatever you want.”

Galations 5:17

Israel could never be a good enough influence to change the people of the world

Sure, there were probably a few people here and there who wanted to join Israel and changed their beliefs. But these were the minority. Most people never change the way they are. And this is why God’s command was to totally annihilate these people from the face of the earth. None of them could be left alive.

“Completely destroy them—the Hittites, Amorites, Canaanites, Perizzites, Hivites and Jebusites—as the Lord your God has commanded you.”

Deuteronomy 20:17

If you are removing cancer from the human body, you obviously want to remove the whole thing. If you leave even a small portion of the cancerous tumor in the body, it will simply grow back to full strength.

Israel

This is why Israel was required to completely remove the cancer that was the pagan nations in Canaan. There could be no place for people who engaged in homosexuality and offered their children as burnt offerings to their gods. Imagine sacrificing your kids by burning them alive just so you could have a better life or a better harvest the next year. It is absolutely despicable behavior. And it was precisely this behavior that required those people to be utterly destroyed.

We live a similar life today.

The modern church overemphasized the idea of being a “good influence“. They do this in the same way that they place too much focus on accountability. These are good tools, but they should not make up the bulk of our practice. We are never going to be able to exert as much positive influence as the world will be able to exert a negative influence. The negative is always more powerful in a face-to-face assault. This is why we must be more strategic in our approach.

We have to control our environment. The best way to avoid negative behaviors is to make sure we do not have the opportunity to engage in them.

You cannot eat junk food if it is not in the house. You cannot be pulled into worldliness if you are not surrounded by people of the world. People who would be forcing their extremely powerful influence on you.

Influence always comes from a position of strength, you cannot influence someone unless you have some power or unless they look up to you in some way. There is no way around this. Influence, as well as help, always comes from a position of strength. This is a fact of life.

We have to arm ourselves and separate ourselves from the negative influence of the world. We have to split from the pack if we ever intend to become strong.

Israel failed time and time again because of negative influences.

We cannot allow our lives to be lived in the same way. Separate yourself from false ideologies and evil behavior just like you would remove yourself from a leper colony. Treat evil like a plague and hide from it. We rarely have the strength to engage it in full frontal warfare, we need to be strategic and maneuver around. Work the enemy’s strengths into weaknesses. Do not allow them to touch you. Act too quickly for them to realize what you are doing. Be fast, bold, and courageous, and do not engage with the world more than necessary.

Do not ever overestimate the strength of a positive influence. The positive influence is almost always weaker than the negative one. Do not count on your own strength of will to allow you to resist temptation or influence others. Be realistic about your own strength and only engage in skirmishes you know you can win.

Avoid evil and act like men.

Disassociate from Experiences – 2 Exercises for Emotional Control

Let me provide you with one of the most valuable tools you will ever hear about: the skill of disassociation. This tool is nothing new. Tony Robbins calls it “dissociating” and Jocko Willink calls it “detachment”. The ability to disassociate is a skill used by every master of emotion.

Essentially what it involves is separating yourself from your current emotions. you look at yourself as an outsider would see you. Then you try to direct the various ways you are acting or feeling. You poke and prod the specimen that is yourself, searching for inconsistency or irrationality.

When we have negative experiences, we tend to get sucked into the moment. We feel the worst of the worst when it comes to our emotions and our inability to manage them. This leads us to make poor decisions and act illogically. That is not the type of behavior befitting men.

What you need to be able to do is separate yourself from emotions so you can make good decisions. Or you can disassociate from emotion in order to lessen the pain of certain negative experiences. There are limitless benefits to dissociation and very few downsides.

Here is a simple exercise: when you find yourself in an emotionally painful situation, complete the following steps.

  1. Stop. Take a mental step back and a deep breath.
  2. In your mind, dissasociate yourself from your physical body. See yourself as if you were looking at someone else.
  3. Turn the picture of yourself to a black and white photo.
  4. Turn down the brightness on the image of yourself.
  5. Now with the highly stimulating pieces of your emotions quieted, ask questions about yourself. Ask yourself if you are beeing rational. Ask yourself these questions ina calm, cool, collected manner.
  6. Take inventory of everything that the person you are looking at (you) is feeling and analyze it objectively. There is no need to feel emotion here.
  7. Wait until you are calm.
Another option is to take this exercise even further if you find you are not doing well.
  1. Stop. Take a step back and a deep breath.
  2. Disassociate from yourself again and look at yourself in your mind’s eye as if it were a movie.
  3. Once you change the photo to black and white and make it less bright, solidify the picture in your mind.
  4. Then disassociate again. You should be looking at a version of yourself who is also looking at a dim, black and white picture of yourself. This is called “double disassociation”.
  5. Make the second disassociated verson of yourself black and white, dim and a small picture, then push the picture far away from you, as if it was on the other side of a 100 foot room.
  6. Then analyzse your emotions from the afar off perspective that you have created, and you will find you are better able to be rational.

What this does is put our emotions within our own control. It allows us to separate ourselves far away from what we are currently feeling. When we do this, the old painful emotions start to fade, they lose their power and the feelings themselves become far off.

It may take a few attempts for you to learn how to do this, but it is an incredible technology that you can learn to start taking a firm hold on your emotions. you do not want to run around your whole life having your emotions dictate your day-to-day existence. You do not want to wake up saying “I hope today will be good“. Instead, you have to learn how to make the day good by taking control of your emotions. If you can control your emotions, you can control the world. Impose your will on reality and bend it to you.

Everything we are after in life is some variation on emotional control. If we can control our emotions, and in turn learn to control ourself, we will have everything we want in life. We will be able to feel the way we want to feel and think the way we want to think. Who does not want that?

You can learn to get that if you start by using these two simple exercises to disassociate from your emotions.

Disassociate

PSALMs – Sexual Market Value

Other men who understand these concepts better than I do have compiled a few arousal components into the helpful acronym PSALMs. And please understand before you go any further, every concept must first be understood from a rational, logical perspective before it can be understood from the more complex moral perspective. So first let’s look at the rational, biological components of sexual arousal.

Here are the PSALMs components of a man’s sexual market value

Power
Status
Affluence
Looks
Muscle


Another possible arrangement is the following:

Power
Status
Athleticism
Looks
Money
PSALMs

Both descriptions get the same message across. There are specific, measurable characteristics that women find sexually arousing, and these are the key ones.

Power is the degree to which you have control over your own situation. Many forms of power are arousing, some more than others. A man can have personal power by showing an ability to regulate himself and his desires. This one usually is not extremely arousing to most women. But nonetheless, this should be a tool in every man’s toolbelt. The ability to self-regulate and self-direct is critical to a man’s future success.

Perhaps this personal power is arousing to women because it is the signal of success to come. One 2011 study by Terry Moffitt et. al. tracked children from childhood to adulthood. Those children with better self-control grew into adults with better personal histories and better finances. The article is titled, “A gradient of childhood self-control predicts health, wealth, and public safety” and is published in the PNAS journal. Perhaps with their magical intuition, women pick up on the tell-tale signs of future success, one of which being the ability to self-regulate.

A man must be able to regulate his emotions. No woman is aroused by a man who is equally emotional as she is. As much as pop culture claims that women want Mr. Emotionally Vulnerable, and she really wants is Mr. Silent Professional who can bear the world on his shoulders.

The idea that women can sense future success also plays out in a slightly different way when women bet on your possible future success as a man and hope that bet pays off. This is why you occasionally see attractive women in relationships with broke, 20-year-old musicians. She is wagering that his career will take off and intends to be there to ride his success to financial security. You never see an attractive woman with the broke 40-year-old musician. His window of opportunity has closed, at least in her mind.

Self-regulation is one form of power. A more overt form is the degree to which a man directs his own life through his value to society. The valuable man cannot help himself but become successful in the workplace. Through his success, he increases his ability to dictate the circumstances of others who have not earned the same level of freedom. This is the C-class boss type of man (i.e., CEO, CFO, COO, etc.). Through his orders, he dictates the lives of his subordinates and conversely has more freedom for himself.

Another form of PSALMs power is money or affluence, which is its own category.

But every man knows in his heart of hearts that money is attractive. It may not draw in the “wife-material” type of women, but it will certainly draw in the women who are interested in your genetics and security. At the end of the day, this money represents freedom and power. Weaker men use the phrases “Money cannot buy happiness” or “Money cannot buy time”, both of which are untrue.

Everything in life that you enjoy, more of it can be enjoyed with money. And if you have earned enough money so that you no longer have to work, have you not purchased back 8 hours of every day? Because of this money is both powerful and arousing.

Status is another PSALMs component of masculine arousal.

This is your societal standing. As we will discuss later, women are interested in men with status. This does not have to be a job title. It can really be simplified down to a man’s reputation in his environment. Women are aroused by the man who other women want and who other men want to be.

Muscle/Athleticism and Looks are separated into different categories simply because each can be controlled to a different degree. For the most part, your looks are determined by your genetics. You can learn how to groom and dress well, but you are still limited to the role of the genetic dice when it comes to your base physical attraction. However, your muscle/athleticism is infinitely modifiable. Barring severe physical disability, there is no man who cannot improve his athleticism or muscularity through a surprisingly small amount of physical training. And everyone knows that the muscular man is more attractive. Through his muscularity, he demonstrates that his genetics are good.

There you have the basic PSALMs components of biological arousal for a woman. It should not be offensive to anyone to consider that women have a biological basis for arousal just like men do. While religions put 95% of the focus on “emotional arousing” their wives, they miss the most critical point of biological arousal. There must be something beyond emotions that women find arousing you would never find women who are willing to engage in one-night stands. Unless you maintain the position that every one of those women is deranged or did not have a father figure, which is always a convenient explanation for behavior that religious men cannot explain or understand.

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