A man must learn through the church that his primary focus in life is God. He must learn that he has no role more important than that of a son of God. While this is the message preached from the pulpit and didactically delivered by most religious parents, it is not the lesson demonstrated in the lives of common Christian men. The Divine-Primary doctrine is only a Christian ideal, the Feminine-Primary teaching is what is lived out by men. It is the lesson they hear verbally, not the one they see lived out by other Christian men. You must worship God; do not worship women.
They merely hear the words “Keep God first”, while the actions of men around them scream “Keep women first”.
The medium is the message; The behavioral teaching of these Christian men has ten times more of an impact than any lesson from parents of preachers.
As men grow up, they learn a different lesson than “Keep God first”. This lesson is not a sermon preached from the pulpit or a lecture from a wise father, but a silent lesson taught through action. Early in their lives, young men learn what the essence of mainstream religion is by what they see, not what they hear. It is in this lesson that they learn to defer to women instead of God. They learn to worship women instead of God. Young men begin to learn that if they want to avoid pain or punishment, they need to morph their very being into whatever shape will be well-pleasing to the women in their lives.
This is the life that most religious men live – constant deference to the feminine while claiming deference to the Divine.
Religious men may deny the fact that they defer to the feminine, but their actions and lifestyles scream the opposite. They claim to be their own men, but they are bound by the rules and regulations set up by their wives.
Even in religious leadership, you will find that women are gaining more power over men and control over religious authority. I am not alluding to the common occurrence of women blatantly taking on leadership positions in their churches and becoming preachers or elders etc. That infiltration of feminism is blatant and well documented in modern religion.
Rather, what I am speaking about is the indirect yet nearly absolute power that many women hold over their husbands who are in leadership positions. These men may claim to make decisions as men and as leaders, but their entire perspective is colored by their upbringing in a society that teaches them to put women above God. This is in addition to the fact that many wives have their husband’s genitalia in a vice grip, forcing them to avoid making any decisions that would upset their wives and cause them to lose access to their only source of sexual intimacy. Men are trained from an early age to placate the whims of women. As a result, they do not make decisions based on rationality and logic, but on fear and biological urge.
Seeing as how you might reject everything as I am saying as utter nonsense, let’s perform a case study on your own life that applies to every normal young man who grew up in Western society post-1950.
Fact: You live the first two decades of your life deferring to and attempting to please women. We covered this briefly in the introduction to this book, but we will address it again here. For this example, I will assume that you lived in a standard two-parent household and went to a public or private school from ages 5-18.
After being born, young boys spend an extensive amount of time with their mothers. This is incredibly beneficial to young boys unless the feminine influence of their mother is not balanced by the masculine influence of their father. For the first four or five years of life, a boy learns to live by the word of his mother and do everything to please her. If he does what she says he is a “good boy”, if he behaves “poorly” then he is bad. Seeing as how the mother is the one who spends the majority of her time with the boy, she becomes the one who sets the daily standard for good and bad behavior. He learns that to be good, he has to obey the feminine.
Even if a boy only has a reasonable amount of conscious awareness for two of those years, that is more than enough time to develop early mastery of deference to the feminine.
During a boy’s most impressionable years, the first lesson he learns that to be “good” he has to do what women say.
I know what you are thinking. “This is an extreme position” or “Are you saying that women raising children is bad?”, or if you are deeply embedded into feminine-primary philosophy you may accuse me of misogyny. If you are making these statements it likely means that these preliminary words have struck a nerve with you, perhaps hit on the truth of your upbringing.
While I am not asserting either of those positions nor am I a misogynist though I do assert that women are not perfect, (a heretical statement in the 21st century) I am trying to outline the cold reality that every good idea has unintended yet negative consequences if not properly balanced. And for most young men, they did not have masculine life lessons to balance the feminine lessons they were learning in those formidable years. The result is that modern religion has become a farm for effeminate men, and the primary driver of that feminization is the feminine.
First Principles Thinking
3-4 hours a day spent with dad cannot outweigh 18 hours spent with mom. A young boy will be more influenced by the feminine at this point in his life simply because he has spent more time with the feminine than with the masculine. In these first years of life, a boy learns that the authority comes from females instead of from males unless the father is masculine enough to teach the correct lesson.
I know I will have to continue to restate this, but I am not suggesting that boys being raised by mom or having that influence in their life is completely negative. It is only when the feminine becomes the only influence that negative consequences begin to surface.
Once a young boy is old enough to be sent off to school, relieving his mother from the task of raising him, he enters yet another feminine dominated world. In the school system, a boy will have two teachers.
He will either be taught by a woman or a feminized man. 76.5% of this young man’s teachers will be women. These women will proceed to educate him on the correct way to be a boy based on their feminine perception of reality. For the next decade, this young man will be educated in a two-century-old system that will treat him as nothing more than a dysfunctional girl and educate every drop of masculinity out of him. Any display of aggression is punished, even something as simple as drawing a gun on paper.
The system attempts to teach boys that the appropriate way to exist is to be like girls. This indoctrination happens for a decade until the little fellow is ready to enter the world as a “man”. But if he ever wants to become a man, he will have to undo nearly 20 years of societal education teaching him that it is better to be like a girl than it is to be like a boy.
Before, during, and after the Industrial Revolution period, the schools were created as a way to condition children to work in factories. In the 21st century, schools are structures to teach boys how to function in a feminine-centric society. He is fully conditioned to defer to and obey the feminine authority at all costs, and so he does.
Even more unfortunate is the reality that this attitude now leaks into religion. The same boys raised to defer to the feminine now “run” churches, synagogues, and cathedrals. They regurgitate the same feminine principles they learned in school, except now they have cloaked them in religion. Now not only does a young man have to accept a feminine religious structure, but you cannot even oppose it because to do so is to oppose God. Feminine deference is the way of life for most men, secular and Christian.
Task 1
It will be your first task to undo this feminine-centered conditioning. The first task in doing so is to simply become aware of it. Open your eyes and observe your church and society rationally and amoral. Do not allow any emotions to cloud your thinking and elevate your mind high above situations and watch how the men around you live their lives, in constant obedience and deference not to God, but to the feminine.
“The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation” ~ Henry David Thoreau
Many Men Make Long-term Life Decisions Based on Women.
Men alter every decision they make, from college major to career, to the city of residence based on what their woman of choice would want. While that idea of the self-sacrificing man may sound noble on the surface, underneath it is a choice made out of fear and it is a recipe for disaster. Every midlife crisis is the result of multiple factors, not the least of which is the sad reality that a man spent half his life molding his existence in order to properly accommodate women or appease his parents. Instead of making career decisions based on his own talents, inclinations, skills, interests, and relative marketability of those skills, he makes the decision based solely on if it would make a woman or his family happy. You must never do this. Your wife will not be the one spending 8-10 hours per day at that job and another hour in commute to and from that job.
Men make other life-altering decisions such as whether and when to have children based on women. The creation of life is nothing to toy with, and men must be incredibly wary and take inventory of their minds if they are considering having kids simply to accommodate and make a woman happy. There is more to a man’s existence than the happiness of his wife, as heretical as that may sound to every man who has grown up in the feminine-dominated western world.
Many Men Make Short-Term Life Decisions Based on Women.
Men choose what clothes to wear, what words to use, and what behavior to display in social settings based on what they think will make them most attractive and pleasing to women. While you might think that is no big deal, and in a way it is not, the problem is that in these small, seemingly unimportant behaviors, men are further ingraining the habit of contorting their life choices based on women. Their mind never centers around God or Christian behavior, only what they think will make women happy because they have been told, “That is what good men do”. In reality, what good men do is serve the Divine Creator first and foremost. Only once this has been written in stone on their hearts do they even consider bringing a woman into their world.
Men in religion teach you not through word, but through example and subliminal message that the sole reason for your existence is to facilitate the existence of women and miniature versions of yourself, not to serve God.
This teaching is certainly rooted in noble thinking and the biblical doctrine of self-sacrifice (Ephesians 5). However, it has been taken too far. Men are taught that they should give up essentially their entire lives as represented by their time to provide for a wife and children and are to expect nothing in return but a pat on the head.
If you wondered why men are refusing to get married in the 21st century, this is one of the many reasons.
Men will only perform tricks for a pat on the head for so long until they grow tired of that treatment and expect more juice for the squeeze. Men’s Rights Activists, who in many aspects are just as detrimental to society as feminists, exist partly because of the way men are disrespected and unrewarded for their never-ending sacrifice in the service of the feminine dominated sphere.
You must understand that you worship God, not women. While men insist that this is what they have been teaching you, it has been a lesson taught by mere words and immediately contradicted by their actions. The sole purpose of your existence is to live a disciplined, hardcore life so you earn a reward for yourself first and foremost. The element of self-interest is the most basic principle of human nature. Encased in self-interest is the desire to avoid pain and seek pleasure, the two simplest stimuli that direct us to modify our behaviors. At the end of the day, we want to avoid hell and gain the reward of eternal life. This is accomplished through obedience to the commands of God, not the commands of the feminine-dominated religious sector.
When it comes to behaviors and making life decisions, you must think of God first, then yourself, and lastly, you can think of women. You must do this in order to think rationally as a male and live a self-directed and God-directed life. This will feel unnatural at first because it opposes everything you have been taught as a product of feminine social conventions, but it must be this way if you are to take the first steps towards grasping manhood.
Lesson 1: Think of God first when choosing actions, and then think of yourself. Only once these two have been considered may you also think about a woman. You will fail to provide for a woman if you cannot first serve God and provide for yourself.
If you consciously choose to make God and then yourself as the center point, the reference point of your life, you can avoid midlife crises. A midlife crisis is a result of thinking that you wasted your life on unimportant work, which can be avoided by taking the time while you are young to decide what you want to do for yourself, not for anyone else.
Make yourself the center point when it comes to making behavioral decisions. While we all have to modify our personalities to correct weaknesses and make ourselves socially tolerable, we should not manipulate ourselves beyond the point of recognition simply to accommodate women. You will never be able to give them the best version of yourself without building your life and career on your distinct strengths. While I do not believe that anyone should “Just be themselves” and that we should constantly be improving, I do believe that we must not try to be something we are not solely for the sake of accommodating women in marriage. That would be irresponsible and damaging to our character.
Lesson 2: First create your own world before you invite a woman into it.
In the first century when Jesus was born, the idea of a man forging his own career path before getting married was a completely rational position. Many men took on the trades of their father and mastered various skills that would make them marketable to society (a novel thought for many college graduates today). Once they reached the age of thirty, give or take a few years, they would marry a much younger woman and begin to have children. This is one of the reasons I believe we do not hear about Joseph the earthly father of Jesus beyond the story of Jesus being left in Jerusalem in Luke 2. If Joseph was roughly 30 years old at the time of Jesus’ birth, and Mary roughly 14 years old, he would have been 60 years old when Jesus began His ministry. With life spans not being what they were in the days of Eden, Joseph had likely died by this point, especially considering the physically laborious trade he practiced.
The lesson is that back in the day, men were much older than women when they decided to marry, and they had created their own path by the time they were ready to settle down. You do not read about people marrying women before they are ready or simply trying to accommodate women by taking any work they can find so they can rush to the marriage altar. Men first create their world, then can turn their eyes to invite women into it.
The Spartans also knew this, as men seldom were married before the age of 30 after being well established in the army, and their wives were traditionally around 10 years younger than them.
You must also model the Jews and Spartans in this way. You need to know who you are, where you plan to go, and how you plan to get there before your worry about women. You need to concentrate on increasing your value to society before you can think about inviting a woman to help you with that task. Read Genesis 1 and 2 and you will find that God made Eve as a helper for Adam. The word “Helper” only works if a man has something that he needs help with. By this I mean that there must be a mission before there can be someone who helps you achieve that mission. Without a path, without a goal, there is no helper. When God created Eve to help Adam, it implies that Adam already had a purpose. You must also have a path, a purpose first and foremost before you can bring women into it.
Even if you change your path and plan along the way it does not matter. The purpose is to first chart your course, then set sail, then worry about inviting a woman along the voyage. If you do not do this you will spend your entire life being tossed by the winds of life because you have no harbor that you are sailing for.
Also, understand that women do not even want to be the focus of your life.
That is not why they were made. God made Eve to help Adam who already had a purpose. So while it may sound strange to hear that you should not focus on women, especially if you have been taught the opposite for your whole life, know that women do not want to be the focus of your life. Women are attracted to a man with purpose and mission. The man who is sailing in circles is not attractive.
Women want to be brought along on an adventure with a man who is pursuing excellence, and they become irritable when a man does not work to achieve his highest performance. This is why women nag their husbands. Women, the vast majority of the time, nag husbands who are not living up to their highest potential and almost never nag husbands who are pursuing excellence in their vocation and personal life. All in all, by placing God as the center of your life and then focusing on your mission second, you become more attractive to women than if you made them the focus of your life.
Know Thyself
Task 2: To know where you want to go you must spend extensive time alone, just with yourself and your thoughts. You must then ask yourself what it is that you want in this life. This seems like a simple exercise but you would be shocked to know how few men ever take the time to do this. Likely less than 5% of men have ever taken the time to ask themselves who they want to be and what they want to accomplish in life. As a result, they mindlessly float from one job to another, never sure of what they want to do or why they exist, making no progress in life and even worse, making no progress on their own character, all because they did not take the time to get to know themselves.
To know yourself I suggest you take every variation of a personality test that you can find. Take the Myers-Briggs, then the Big 5, DiSC assessment, the Four Temperaments, the Enneagram, even the Indian Ayurveda. Taking multiple tests is like attaching multiple chest wires to an EKG heart monitor. More wires mean a more complete view of the heart. Taking more personality tests equates to a greater understanding of who you are by providing a fuller picture of your personality.
Once you complete these tests, write down all your strengths and weaknesses by hand. Read everything you can about your personality types based on each test to gain the most thorough understanding of yourself possible.
Once you have written these down, now look at all the various suggestions for careers that these tests suggest to you. Each one should say something like, “If you have X personality then you would be well-suited for Y career” or something of the sort. Write down every single career that it suggests to you on a separate page.
Once you have your career list in front of you, cross out every career that sounds horrible to you, then circle every career that sounds interesting to you.
If you have neutral feelings about a career, just leave it blank, neither circled nor crossed out. The purpose of this is to narrow down your fields of interest. Simply having the “correct personality” for a certain field does not mean you would enjoy it. And if you do not seek out a career that you would enjoy, you will frequently burn out and may experience the dreaded midlife or quarter-life crisis. You can avoid this by knowing yourself.
Ask yourself questions about life. “What do I want in life?” “What would life have to look like so that my existence would justify itself and so that the innate difficulty of life would be bearable?”
Questions like this, while simple, may surprise you with their answers. Even more surprising is the fact that if you ask your mind this question, an answer will spring out as if it was from another entity living in your head. Do not worry if this does not happen the first time you ask yourself a question as you will likely have to ask loudly and repeatedly because you have spent your entire life answering the much different questions: “What do others want me to do in life? How can I meet the expectations of those around men and gain acceptance? What careers do women find attractive?”.
By just spending a few hours engaging with these personality tests and asking yourself simple but deep questions, you begin to know who you are.
Your identity begins to gain clarity and a vague but noticeable direction for your life will begin to appear. It is okay to still have no idea where you are going, at least now you know that you want to go somewhere. All you have to do now is continue to spend time with yourself, asking these questions, learning who you are, and then based on the answers you set sail on the voyage of your career.
I know you may be thinking, “What does this have to do with Christianity?” The answer is that it has everything to do with Christianity. You are first resetting your anchor of mental reference in God and then taking the time to learn who you are as an individual complete with every strength and weakness. Based on that you chart your life and make decisions and by doing this you act like a man. You will forever live below your maximum performance capacity and subsequent ability to provide if you do not first worship God, not women, and then make decisions based on calculated self-interest. And remember, self-interest is not the same as selfishness, as we will see in later sections.
Summary Points:
- Make God the center of your life. Worship Him and do not worship women. After that, focus on your vocation.
- You have been raised to defer to and worship the feminine. Even though at their core, women do not even want this, (They prefer men with purpose and mission) they push a feminine-centric narrative that you must be aware of and avoid.
- Know yourself. Spend time with yourself as you would with a friend and learn your various strengths and weaknesses.
