Gambling – Wasted Strategic Resources

Is there a difference between obsessive gambling away your very last penny and gambling for entertainment? I think so. That still does not mean you should gamble at all. Probably not.

“Wealth gained hastily will dwindle, but whoever gathers little by little will increase it.”

Proverbs 13:11

Gambling is a slippery slope. Simply gambling for entertainment is somewhat like just trying cocaine for fun; one hit will not kill you or cause immediate damage, but the addiction you are likely to develop could actually kill you. 

Gambling addiction is perhaps the most extreme manifestation of bad stewardship.

It is unwise to waste the funds in our command. It is also a tremendous waste of time, as most chronic gamblers spend full days or nights throwing their money into slots. 

Casinos typically have no windows in the gambling area, because they do not want you to know what time of day it is. If you came in during the morning while it was light and then could see that it was dark, you might feel like it would be time to go. If you have no idea what time it is, you will have no idea when to leave, so you just stay all day. These are marketing schemes of the business.

Do not be mistaken, people who gamble usually aren’t there because they want to make money or get rich quick. They are there because they are addicted to gambling itself. The psychology of these individuals is marred. You can ask people who gamble on slots and they may tell you that they don’t even want to win, because it interrupts their rhythm of putting money in and pulling the lever. This type of gambling has hijacked the brain’s reward system and made individuals addicted to the thrill and suspense of the gambling. It has nothing to do with the winning or losing, it is all about the suspense of the game. This is a dangerous addiction, as is anything that manipulates our natural reward circuits. 

Mantra

Gambling is poor stewardship in disguise. 

Gambling. Gamble.

Application

If you gamble for entertainment, realize that you are playing with fire. What you are doing is similar to drinking or smoking for entertainment. And while gambling will not have negative effects that attack your health, it will lead you directly to poverty. There are better things you can be doing with your time.

If you are already addicted, the likelihood that you will be able to defeat this by willpower alone is low. Even though the philosophy of Spartan Christianity always recommends trying to do as much as you can on your own and build your own willpower and discipline, this time you may need help. 

Get help from your bank and set parameters over what can be withdrawn or paid through a card. Tell your bank to set up your cards to reject specific businesses like casinos. You are going to have to lock down all of your resources and ride out the withdrawals. While it would be easy for you to work around these parameters, it still makes wasting your money at least slightly more difficult.

Since this is a serious addiction, you may need an accountability partner for a period of time.

Put someone you trust in charge of your money. Tell them you are trying to improve your life by avoiding gambling and you need help. Get your friend to watch your bank accounts and where money is being spent. Give him the power to freeze your cards or accounts if he/she sees you going off the rails. 

Get a grip. Confess your faults. Lock down the variables. Be a Man.

Conduct Yourselves Like Men.

Mentors – Find Examples of Greatness

You need mentors who you can model your behavior after. It will be hard to become great if your only mentors are your family and people in the church. You must expand your collection of inspirational men.

“Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another”

Proverbs 27:17

“And what you have heard from me in the presence of many witnesses entrust to faithful men who will be able to teach others also.”

2 Timothy 2:2

“Let the wise hear and increase in learning, and the one who understands obtain guidance.”

Proverbs 1:5

You will almost never reach the majority of your goals by yourself. Every man who was ever great at his craft started by apprenticing under a master of that same craft. He would study and learn from someone who had lived a full life and had hundreds of practical lessons to pass along to him. 

Many men think they can be good enough at a craft by teaching themselves, but this is not so.

Very few men are self-taught masters. Men are also confused about what it means to be self-taught. If you are learning math from a book, you are not self taught, the book is your teacher. If you are not taking guitar lessons but you learn by watching videos online or reading articles and books, you are not self-taught. With your ego you tell everyone that you have “taught yourself”, but you have learned your skill from other men.

To be truly self-taught means you extracted unknown knowledge from the ether. For example, the first person to show that you can calculate an unknown length of one side of a triangle by knowing the length of the other two sides was self-taught because he uncovered the underlying principles on new knowledge. By himself he learned what was not previously known, and was therefore self-taught. Another example would be a man who learns how to tie sailing knots by himself with no book. I understand that this is an extreme definition of “self-taught”, but you are reading this because you are an extremist. 

The internet has put dozens of mentors at our fingertips.

So even when we cannot find good role models within the church, that does not excuse us from finding them elsewhere. We can find men from every walk of life who are doing everything that we want to do with our own lives. We can virtually model our life after theirs and live the way we believe is correct. 

Your father is not enough of a mentor, you will not learn enough from him. The men in your family are not enough for you to learn many of the most important lessons and skills of life. You cannot limit your mentors to those in your church and immediate family. What you need are men who are living impressive lives, are masters at a craft or who are intelligent. You likely do not have many of those kinds of men in your family. In fact, you rarely have those men in your church. 

You need to go outside the church to find mentors.

These men are going to help you improve your life on a non-spiritual level. So for this reason you need to go outside the church to find them. There are very few men in the church who are living impressive lives. Most men have used the Bible to try to justify their lack of ambition and subsequent lack of wealth or any manner of an impressive life. Get some mentors.

If you find mentors in the church, you need a large number of them. Do not limit yourself to just a few people. You must diversify your motivation portfolio.

Mantra

You are who you spend time with.

mentors

Application

Use the internet to find masters of whatever craft you want to improve at. There are plenty of good mentors online, and you have to pick the ones that best fall in line with the direction your life is taking. You need to be active in your learning and in the ways you gain knowledge about your career path or skill. Throughout the world there are thousands of mentors for music, leadership, training, building, public speaking, thinking and infinitely more topics.

There is no reason why anyone cannot become a master at any craft they want to in the modern world. And there is also no excuse for ignorance or lack of experience in any field. There are endless lessons and lectures online on any subject matter you could possibly think of. The internet has taken away every excuse from man as to why he is not successful or at least skilled in his personal endeavors. 

If we truly are the average of the five people we spend the most time with, we need to start spending time with different people.

There is no reason to hang out with losers and to waste our time. We have been given every possible opportunity to improve ourselves, so let us not squander it by allowing the influences of weak men to shift us towards mediocrity. 

Unfortunately this is what commonly happens in the church. Very few men in the church are great at anything. Many christian men call themselves righteous because they are not successful. “I’m a good Christian because I’m poor”, or “I’m not a part of those upper class people who think they are better than everyone”. You mean those upper class people who fund the country you live in? How do you know they think they are better than everyone? Could it be that you simply hate them because they have more material possessions than you? That seems like a silly thing to hate someone over.

You do not want to spend time with people who are of that mentality. They can only drag you down, and you are trying to be excellent at something. So get mentors outside the church.

First, decide what skill you want to develop.

Once you know that, you can single out the best men in the world at that craft and learn from them from whatever resources are available. If they have books, lectures or podcasts you can learn from those. Otherwise you can simply learn from observing those mentors in their element. There is no reason why we cannot learn from anyone we want to. 

Get some mentors outside the church. 

Learn from men who are great. 

Model yourself after the best. 

Imitate the masters. 

Gain immeasurable skill. 

Conduct yourself like men.

Mental Nutrition – You Are What You Think

Whatever you allow into your mind will shape the way you think and the way you act. Make sure your mental nutrition is positive and powerful.

“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.”

Philippians 4:8

“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.”

Romans 12:2

“Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth.

Colossians 3:2

What you allow into your mind will define you in life. Everything you allow into your mind develops the way you think and alters your perception of the world. Whatever consumes your regular thoughts determines what you are as an individual. 

The man who consumes the news in the morning and evening and ingests it throughout the day becomes an outrage addict and ends up depressed about the state of the world. That man will almost never develop a positive mindset as a result of the constant consumption of mainstream media. He built that negative mentality with what he fed his mind. 

The man who fills his thoughts with social media becomes a man who never lives his own life and who wallows in an inferiority complex. The man who fills his mind with “junk food” will develop the corresponding level of mental fitness. He will be fat and lazy in mind even if his physical body is in decent shape (which usually will not happen because an out of shape mind almost never produces a fit physical body).

The man who listens to effeminate music becomes effeminate. 
The man who listens to aggressive music becomes aggressive and can harness that aggression.

Whatever we think about is what we become. It follows that the man who consumes positive mental nutrition is a man who becomes a more respectable, successful and mentally fit individual. The man who fills his mind with positive stories and anecdotes of success or motivational speeches about perseverance and work ethic is a man who will eventually embody those characteristics. 

The results of mental nutrition accumulate in their effects just as the results of physical nutrition accumulate over time.

No one instance of positive or negative mental nutrition will change you in a notable way because results are always gained over the long-term. The results of your thoughts are not seen until they compile into a mass. No single donut results in morbid obesity if you are already fit. No single training session will transform you if you are already out of shape. 

For this reason you must commit to a long-term mental diet of positive thoughts. You cannot constantly put the negativity of the world into your mind and expect to be any better than the world. You are what you think, therefore, control your thoughts. Control what goes into your mind because that will determine what you think about. A positive mental attitude results in positive self-esteem which is the foundation for success.

Mantra

You are what you think.

mental nutrition

Application

Start a habit of consuming a positive visual diet every day. Fill your mind with motivation or knowledge. Cut back on the visual garbage foods that you enjoy eating like the news or reality TV (if you watch reality TV as a man, you need to go outside and chop wood right now). 

Staying up to date with the state of the country and knowing how you are going to vote is good, but becoming increasingly depressed and negative as a result of watching the news for hours a day is not good. If you already know your political position then why are you concerned with what other politicians are doing? Is constantly calling the other political party “stupid” really doing anything for the country?

Replace the time you would normally spend consuming garbage with a positive diet of strong thoughts.

The internet has put dozens of mentors, positive thinkers and motivational speakers at our fingertips. Do not waste the extremely valuable resources that we have been given. 

You have free access to all the positive material you could ever consume in a lifetime and much more. You are certainly more likely to hear something that would change your thinking and life through a positive speaker or mentor than you are to hear it through the local news station. 

Just type “motivational speech” into your internet search bar and you will have millions of results.

You need to listen to at least one of these a day. You also need to reduce your consumption of social media and other assorted mental feces. Men do not waste their lives by scrolling through the lives of other people. You must have the strength of mind to reject these common trappings of life. 

Control what goes into your mind and you will have a much easier time controlling your thoughts. Through your positive mental diet you control the soil of the mind from which the fruits of correct thinking will grow. 

No man improved himself through facebook. 

No man grew his character scrolling down on instagram. 

Nor was a great man developed through the daily consumption of the news. 

Men improve from strong thinking and from learning from other men. You can improve your life or waste your life through what the internet has to offer. 

So learn and grow like a man. 

Improve yourself. 

Do not misapply the virtue of contentment to your character. 

Feed the mind with the thoughts of a champion. 

Conduct yourselves like men.

Physical Nutrition – Stewardship of The Body

We have been given temporary bodies. How we steward over them based on the physical nutrition we take in speaks volumes about our character. Though this may seem unrelated to Christianity, it has it’s purposes.

“If then you have not been faithful in the unrighteous wealth, who will entrust to you the true riches?”

Luke 16:11

Very few men in the church take care of their bodies. They excuse themselves from their responsibility of managing their bodies because of their “other responsibilities”. They have careers to think about. What man has time to train the body or to eat correctly. Try almost 100% of CEOs. 

What weak men mean when they say they cannot take care of their bodies is that eating healthy fuel is not easy or fun. Everything men do in life can be simplified to this desire for convenience and ease. No one wants to eat grilled chicken for the fifth time in a row, especially when someone brought donuts to the office. 

Physical nutrition must be important to Christian men,

We as men have no right to put garbage in our bodies on a constant basis. It does not benefit the body, but most of all it does not benefit the mind to give into weakness on a regular basis like the majority of the weak world. The mind grows when we prove to ourselves that we can command our own bodies. Our mentality improves when we choose to be disciplined rather than to constantly indulge ourselves.

I want to note that I do not mean that you have to eat perfectly “clean” every single meal. In fact, no one can clearly define what “clean” is. We as men cannot allow garbage fuels to dominate our nutrition. I do not speak against enjoying various foods and various times, just do not make it your habit. 

Common Quibble I: “Jesus talked about the food that we eat, and told us that it is not what goes into the body that defiles a man, but what comes out of the man that is a result of his thoughts.” Jesus spoke about the good or evil of eating food and of defilement, not about the nutritional content of that food. Jesus would say that it is not sinful to eat a donut, but it will not build your body if you eat donuts every day.

Common Quibble 2: “It is too expensive to eat clean”. No it is not. Oatmeal, peanut butter, eggs, black beans and a little chicken will suffice if you are on a budget. These foods can be eaten at under five dollars a day. Buy the off-brands.

Men are too lazy to eat well.

Men would rather eat what is convenient. This is a problem because your mind and body can only function to the level of the quality of the fuel you put into it. You are aware of this when you eat foods that you do not burn off as energy throughout the day. If you eat ten slices of pizza, you are acutely aware of how you feel afterwards: sluggish physically and mentally. 

You are more than welcome to eat junk food, just know you will have a difficult time performing as a man if you eat garbage. Know that eating weak food will make you a weak man. Make some sacrifices in your diet and you will be a better man as a result. 

Mantra

You are what you eat.

physical nutrition

Application

Skip most of the aisles at the store. The healthy foods are always kept in the perimeter of the store. The only foods you need from the aisles are peanut butter and oatmeal. Some might argue that the five foods I have outlined are not healthy. Even if they are not healthy based on the standards of some, they are definitely more healthy than the trash you are putting into your body already. 

You don’t have to eat the same meals fifty times in a row, just have a collection of nutritious foods that you rotate through. Eat something you like such as donuts every now and then as opposed to eating them every day. It’s not one instance of junk food that creates the problem, it’s chronic consumption. so avoid letting donuts dominate your nutrition plan.

Cook your food ahead of time. This eliminates panic or convenience eating. 

Eliminate junk from your house. Cut off the temptation entirely. 

Eat like a man, not like a child. 

Conduct yourselves like men.

Monogamy – Is it Natural or Impossible?

For this section we will address two perspectives held by people in the world and in the church with regards to monogamy. The first perspective is that monogamy is unnatural because men want to spread their genetics with as many women as possible. The second perspective is that men are wired for monogamy, but have perverted their own minds through lust and driven themselves to want multiple women. Consider both and decide for yourself if you believe that monogamy is natural, unnatural or a combination of both. 

“But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband.”

1 Corinthians 7:2

“Therefore an overseer must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, sober-minded, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach”.

1 Timothy 3:2

Defining Terms: Before we begin we must define terms. We will take an extreme, scorched earth definition of what it means to desire other women. In this section whenever you read a statement about a man “desiring another woman”, it means that he wants her physically. That is all. If a man is physically attracted to a woman and wants to ahve sex with her, that is desire.

Perspective I: Monogamy to one woman is to be strived for, even though it is unnatural.

A Man does not want to commit. By “want” I mean that his biology does not desire commitment. Men want limitless women. Do not be deceived by what you have heard growing up in the church, a man is one part flesh and one part soul. More accurately, man is a soul clothed in the weakness of flesh (1 Corinthians 15:44-49). 

Man’s biology pushes him towards multiple sexual partners over his life, and anyone who denies this denies reality.

There is no shortage of men in the church who want to tell you that you should “desire” monogamy or that you are wired for it. Such men are weak and have the testosterone levels of 90 year old men. It is easy for these men to desire only one woman when the hormone responsible for sexual desire is non-existent in them. 

Though we as men have a physical nature that desires multiple women, we must limit ourselves  to one woman through discipline and virtue. Very few men are convinced that this sexual limitation is as rewarding as religious men claim, which explains why so few men wait for marriage. 

Because what married man would confess that marriage is not as satisfying as advertised and risk having his supply of sex cut off? Not a soul. What man alive would say that the majority of the marital benefits go to the woman while the primary object of value a man receives is sex? No man alive would dare say such things in fear that the sex he prizes so highly would be taken away. 

This is man’s predicament.

The wife has the most valuable and powerful bargaining chip available and the man must remain submissive in order to receive it. That may not be how your marriage is, but that is certainly how most young Christian men perceive marriage. And they have testosterone deficient men in the religious world to thank for that attitude. 

And also, the above situation is the worst-case scenario. I am well aware that not every marriage is like that and that men do receive more of value than sex out of the marriage relationship. But you must also realize that the way young men perceive marriage and the way many women behave causes men to think negatively about marriage as previously mentioned.

“50% of men would not have gotten married if they knew their marriage would be sexless”.

Maureen, Mcgrath –

TEDx. (2016, July 6). No Sex Marriage. Maureen McGrath [Video]. Youtube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LVgzOyHVcj4&feature=emb_title

If you honor your wife properly and are masculine then your fears of a sexless marriage will not come to pass, or so you are told. Most women want to please. If a man is in a marriage where he is not getting any sex then it is his fault. Because he is either not treating her in a way that makes her feel loved and comfortable, he is not masculine and submits to her or he married a selfish and contentious woman, making the decision to get married with his penis and not with his rational mind. He will complain about monogamy and be the source of the marriage jokes you hear in the church. Do not emulate this man who makes jokes about marriage, he embodies inadequacy. Young men are regularly leaving the church because of this weak man’s influence. 

“Why marry a Christian woman and get no sex when there is all the free ‘love’ I could ever want out in the world?”. How is the church supposed to compete with that logic? The marriage jokes men make are doing no favors for the church. 

Monogamy is possible, but it is not natural. Very few of God’s requirements for us are natural. They go against what our flesh naturally wants, requiring us to reject the weakness of the flesh for the purpose of attaining higher spiritual goals. You can commit to one woman. It is not natural, but it is possible. 

If you have grown up in the church and been properly conditioned on how marriage “should be”, this section may anger you. This argument goes against everything you have ever heard about marriage and the sexual relationship “in the context of marriage”. Women are supposed to desire good men and want to be with them according to the religious man. 

Let’s be clear, whether Christian or secular, no woman will have an organic sexual desire for an effeminate man.

Yet the majority of men in the religious world today are effeminate and are trained to be so by individuals twisting the Scriptures to their own destruction (2 Peter 3:14-18). We have vilified success and made poverty a virtue (see “Success”). The religious word glorifies cowardice and labeled courage as “pride”. Religious individuals degrade mastery of skill while suggesting that the Bible is the only thing a Christian should master (these are the same people who read their bibles twice a year). Almost all sexual problems in Christian marriages could be solved if men would find and use their testicles and be men. You do not have to be married to understand this fact.

Perspective II: Men are wired for monogamy, but many have polluted their minds so that they desire multiple women.

This is another possible explanation for why men are unfaithful to their wives or are desiring multiple partners. 

A man’s sex drive is like a fire that grows larger when more fuel is added to it. If you are ‘checking out’ every woman that walks by and thinking about what it would be like to get her in bed, you are adding fuel to a massive fire. It then becomes incredibly easy to let that fire rage out of control.

Be honest with yourself. If you are checking out every woman, you are thinking about getting in bed with them. If you think about bedding them, you have mentally walked through detailed fantasies about what that sexual encounter would be like. Remember that when you imagine something extremely vividly, your brain thinks it is real. So now your brain thinks you are just having sex with every single woman you see. 

Men, if your brain cannot tell whether you are actually having sex or not, then it is going to be far easier to actually have sex with a woman if you are put into that situation.

Because you’ve already “had sex” hundred of times before. What’s another woman to you? You have had hundreds of partners. As a results it becomes an irrelevant matter whether or not you should have sex with another woman who is not your wife. You built this massive sex drive by polluting your own mind. 

God never intended for your sex drive to be out of control. But with every billboard and advertising attacking you from all sides, your fire grows no matter what you do. The sexual urge was meant for more than just sex. Any man who has read Napoleon Hill’s Think and Grow Rich remembers the chapter on sexual transmutation. This chapter outlines how men can convert their sexual urge to creative energy in order to generate wealth. You can call it “woo-woo” if you want, but men have been using their masculine energy to build, create and go to war since the dawn of creation. 

Before you try to say that monogamy is unnatural for men, first consider whether or not you have taken your naturally monogamous mind and rewired into a polygamous mind by having mental sex with hundreds of women.

The brain rewires itself based on your habits, this is known as neuroplasticity. If you are having sex with multiple partners multiple times per day, your brain will wire itself to think that is normal behavior and to seek that out. If you want to be monogamous, you have to fix your polygamous mind at the root. We will go over this in the application section.

Mantra

Forever Faithful.

monogamy

Application I

If you think monogamy is unnatural, then you subject yourself to your own desires. You will always be at war with your flesh and that is fine. The following list is a set of non-negotiable rules you must employ if you want to maintain sexual discipline.

I. Never under any circumstances be alone with a woman who is not your wife. If you are the only ones in the house, you need to excuse yourself and leave. 

Some women make this rule difficult to follow because if the man leaves, the woman will think “Oh wow, this guy has such a problem with wanting sex that he can’t even be in the same room as me”. This though is the result of the religious world being dishonest with women about exactly what it is to be a man with regards to sex. If a woman knew what was going on in a man’s head, she would never question modesty or these rules again. 

Because of the woman’s attitude, the man cannot win in this situation. He either sits and endures temptation or he gets called a dog. Be a man, get called a dog and leave the house. Any woman who calls you a dog for tactically retreating away from sexual immorality is not worth marrying or being associated with.

II. You cannot “just be friends” with a woman.

This rule may spark a lot of controversy and even get you some heat, but you must apply it. One of my most basic principles of life is the following:

A woman can “just be friends” with a man, but a man cannot “just” be friends with a woman.

This principle is set in stone. 

In other words, there is always a sexual component to every single relationship a man is involved in (excluding family) even if that component is very small. When a girl says she wants to “just be friends”, what a man hears is that if he is good and on his best behavior then eventually he may qualify to be “more than just friends”. 

A man will not remain friends with a woman unless he thinks there is a chance of sexual intimacy at some point in time.

If only he can be a good boy and earn the affections of his lady friend, then he will get the intimacy he wants. When in fact this is precisely the beta-male attitude that lands men in sexless marriages to begin with. Be a highly masculine man, not an effeminate man who has to qualify for women’s attention.. 

So again, even though a woman can usually maintain a platonic relationship with a man, it is not possible for that friendship to flow in the other direction. A man will not even talk to a woman unless he is sexually attracted to her. It is not possible for a man to have a platonic relationship with a woman unless he is a eunuch. This is not chauvinistic, it is simply human nature. 

III. When you go out in public, you must suddenly take great interest in the ground, the sky and buildings.

This is an extreme principle, but if you think monogamy is unnatural, then you need to work on not looking at women for a time so your rabbit brain can settle itself down. In your current state, if you look at a woman, you will very soon be lusting after that woman. You are in that habit so you need to give your brain time to rewire itself. 

When you walk around in public just look around at non-people objects. You will be hard pressed to find a self-respecting woman who wears more than dental floss and bandaids walking around the public square. Treat every area like a warzone of temptation. Secular women have become sexually emboldened in the past decades, so you have to constantly be on the lookout. As soon as you notice one of these women, take great interest in the architecture of the nearest building. 

IV. Short-circuit patterns of sexual thought. 

You will inevitably have sexual thoughts. What you need to do is short-circuit them by injecting some completely unrelated thought once you notice yourself going down the mental sex-path. This only works if you have enough self-awareness to notice that you are mentally having sex with women. So make sure you are building awareness through the exercises in this book. 

Once you notice what you are thinking about, turn your thoughts to something different. It needs to be something highly stimulating because it is hard to take your mind from thinking about sex to thinking about poetry. Instead, turn your focus to food, drop and do some pushups even if you are in public (the embarrassment alone may help you make a huge leap of progress), listen to fast or aggressive music or start doing some strange viking chant. It does not matter what you do in these moments as long as you are converting your mind to better thoughts. 

V. When you get married, you are done interacting with women for the rest of your life.

Interaction is a breeding ground for sexual relationships. I know that statement sounds extreme, but no sexual encounter happens before relationships have been established by talking. Unless you are assembling with the saints, I would encourage you away from interacting with women. Again, this principle mainly applies to individuals who take the position that monogamy is not natural. 

Application II

If you think monogamy is natural and men have polluted their minds with lust, then let us look at how this can be undone.

Recall that the brain rewires itself through neuroplasticity. So no matter how entrenched in the habit of mentally undressing the women you see, it can be undone. Read the principles above and apply them at least in the beginning stages of rewiring your mind. While you may not take an extreme position on interacting with women, those rules can kick start your new habit of mental discipline.

Always begin your change with awareness. There are many instances where awareness alone is curative. Some men are able to stop mentally undressing women just because they become constantly aware of their own minds. When you have self-awareness, you have self-control. 

Conclusion

Commit to one woman for life and be faithful. You must avoid all instances in which you would be tempted to stray from your woman. Even though you tell your wife that other women are “no factor” and that they do not tempt you, we all know that is a lie. Unless you are effeminate, then eventually they will tempt you, and you will have to strain to be faithful. 

In most cases it is better to stay away from other women completely (as mentioned above). They have nothing to offer you besides destruction. They will not advance your career or grant you power, they will only break down your power base and leave you with nothing (Proverbs 6:26). Therefore, avoid women who are not your wife except in public gatherings such as the assembly. 

Be faithful to one woman. 

Do not stray.

Build your own relationship. 

Conduct yourselves like men. 

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