Women Take Your Strength

Proverbs 31:3 – “Do not give your strength to women, nor your ways to that which destroys kings”

What is the Bible talking about when it mentions “giving your strength to women”? The text is almost certainly talking about sexual discipline. Many ancient texts throughout history have taught the importance of controlling one’s sexual drive. As the Bible is the true authority for life, it is even more impactful when a similar teaching is found in the scriptures. 

The lesson of Proverbs 31:3 is quite clear: a man is supposed to control his sexual drive.

The Bible teaches that uncontrolled sexual drive leads to a depletion of strength. 

  • Physical strength
  • Mental strength
  • Emotional strength
  • Spiritual strength
  • Strength of will

All of these are damaged when men mindlessly engage in sex or sex substitutes. 

This is what the Bible means by “do not give you strength to women”.

We know what to do. 

We are told to control our sexual drive. 

We are taught that uncontrolled sexual drive depletes our strength. What are some quick tactics for doing it?

The first step is to maintain a controlled environment. The environment contains triggers that lead to craving which leads to failure. The best way to control yourself is to control your environment. Environmental control is 80% of discipline. Get out of those situations that would lead to temptation:

  • Parties
  • Late night one-on-one interactions with women
  • Late night on the computer. 

Be very selective about the information and media you consume. If you want to walk into a cesspool of lust, log into your social media feed. 

You have to maintain control of what goes into your mind. If you feed your mind lust-producing entertainment, you will make your struggle ten times harder. The sexual urges will be more powerful and will surface more often. You have to cut off the supply at the root. Prevent your mind from being able to generate those cravings in the first place. 

Next, work to fix the parts of your life that are lacking. Uncontrolled sexual drive is often the result of a lack of purpose and other emotional problems. 

Men do not use sex because they want sex. They use it to numb negative feelings in other avenues of their life. Negative feelings exist because we are doing something that is in opposition to our nature. 

If you begin to work on this lack of purpose, the problem of compulsive sexual urges will begin to resolve naturally. This is because many men use sex and pornography as a way to numb emotional pains. These emotional pains are often the result of problems with a man’s day-to-day life.

Identify the problems in your daily life.

Where are the areas of life that are leaving you unsatisfied?
What are you unhappy with in your life?
And What is within your power to fix [almost everything]?
And What are you going to do to fix it?

Many men find that with increased purpose through meaningful work, family, the church, and marriage they can take the high ground against sexual temptation.

Not all of these will be motivating for everyone. For example, I can tell you the church itself does not motivate me to be sexually disciplined. I don’t draw much strength from my local church – which I understand is a problem, but it is a reality at the moment. 

Whatever you can find to draw strength from, use it. Use everything in your arsenal.

Nothing is off-limits. 

Start with these tactics and begin to go to war against lust. 

Drinking Damages Justice

The NKJV quote of Proverbs 31:4-5 is: “It is not for kings, O Lemuel, it is not for kings to drink wine, nor for princes intoxicating drink; lest they drink and forget the law, and pervert the justice of all the afflicted.”

Key lessons from Proverbs 31:4-5:

1. Abstaining from Alcohol 

The text advises kings and princes to avoid wine and intoxicating drinks. This applies not only to people in high-ranking positions but also to people who rule their own lives. We are all kings over our own lives. We make decisions that impact our immediate and future success.

The same applies when we make decisions for our families. We have to be careful to ensure that our minds are sharp, and in the best possible condition possible or we risk making poor decisions.

Alcohol is one of many ways we blunt the strength of our minds. If you want a guaranteed way to perform worse, think slower, make worse decisions, and damage your mind, choose alcohol. It is great for all those outcomes. 

2. Maintaining Mental Clarity 

In this text, drinking is linked to the risk of forgetting the law. The lesson is clear, a man’s mental facilities are damaged by using alcohol. I don’t think this is a surprise to anyone. Did anyone think that a person’s mental abilities are improved by drinking alcohol? Better decisions are made with a clear mind. Keep your mind clear. 

Otherwise, you may forget the law and cause suffering for those around you. 

3. Preserving Justice 

Sobriety is crucial for leaders to ensure just decisions, safeguarding the rights of the afflicted. The negative effects of alcohol are widespread. This teaching demonstrates that society as a whole can be negatively impacted when a ruler makes poor decisions.

We’ve seen the effects of when immoral men rule in positions of power. It’s also the case that many times they are using drugs to keep them focused and driven and alcohol to keep them relaxed. Their foundation of immorality prevents them from making just decisions at every stage of Justice. 

4. Responsibility of Rulers 

This passage is a teaching for rulers to maintain sobriety. They have a unique responsibility to keep their minds clear when making legal decisions so that justice within a nation is preserved. When a ruler’s mind is unclear, those he rules over suffer. The ruler carries a heavy responsibility to make the best decisions possible for those around him. And good decision-making is the result of clear minds. 

5. Avoiding Moral Pitfalls

Moral problems arise when those in positions of power dilute their mind through the use of alcohol. There is no benefit to a leader who cannot think clearly. At that point, you would be better off having no leader than having a drunk leader. Many modern leaders have difficulty thinking clearly as it is! There is no need to worsen the problem by adding alcohol. 

6. Focus on Legal Principles 

Leaders are meant to concentrate on legal matters and think clearly with their rational minds. This demands that their minds be clear and unaffected by intoxicating compounds like alcohol. So much rests on the mind of a leader. The leader then has the responsibility to keep that mind in perfect working order and firing on all cylinders. 

7. Recognition of Vulnerability 

Leaders are vulnerable to corruption and indulgence. With high-pressure work comes the need for ways to relieve that pressure. Many leaders and modern executives in the world turn to depressants like alcohol. While they use these compounds to relax and destress, they end up adding to the stress in life because they generation so many poor decisions of their own. 

8. Prioritizing Societal Health

The passage implies that leaders must prioritize the greater good of the afflicted over personal indulgences. Something bigger than the leader is at stake. The system of justice within the societal system hangs in the balance of a leader’s clarity of thought. 

9. Wisdom

Leaders are urged to use wisdom in their choices, recognizing the potential impact on the administration of justice. A man can’t be wise while under the influence of a compound. Wisdom demands complete presence of mind. 

The principle of this passage is clear – kings and princes don’t drink. And if it’s good enough for kings and princes to be sober, it’s good enough for us as kings and princes over our own lives and individual family units. 

Pride Leads to Shame

Proverbs 11:2 (NKJV)

 “When pride comes, then comes shame; but with the humble is wisdom.“

Lessons from Proverbs 11:2

1. The Consequence of Pride

When we are arrogant, people look for us to fall. They are waiting for it. And they will be excited by our failure. The inevitable result of pride is that we tumble from the tower of pride we created. It comes as surely as night follows day.

It may not come today or tomorrow, but eventually, we will reap the results of our pride. And when we elevate ourselves through pride, we have nowhere to go but down. This is why the Proverb is a universal truth – because when we elevate ourselves, there is only one direction to go from there – down. 

2. The Path to Wisdom

The gateway to wisdom is humility. Through humility, we recognize that we don’t know anything and have much to learn. Without that humility, we prevent learning from ever taking place. And if we never learn, we ensure that failure is coming soon. 

If we think we know something, we prevent learning. You cannot teach the person who thinks they already know everything. Pride gets in the way of knowledge and understanding. 

3. Humility is a Virtue

This passage shows that humility is a powerful, commendable character trait. It makes a person look better at his surroundings. The Proverb states that humility leads to wisdom. Humility is the bedrock of all skill acquisition. 

4. Self-Reflection

If humility leads to wisdom, we need to self-reflect and ensure we are humble. Arrogance prevents the full actualization of who we are. 

We cannot fix character flaws if we are not aware of them. 

5. The Threat of Shame

Unchecked pride leads to shame. The Bible contains threats of punishment for evil behavior. Pride is no exception. There are consequences to behavior that God labels as sin. Even practical consequences in the physical world. 

There is nothing wrong with shame. Worldly people are scared of shame. They will accuse you of fat shaming or something along those lines. But the reality is that shame is an emotion that causes us to take action. We want to avoid negative emotions. So if we want to avoid the emotion of shame, we simply avoid the pride that creates the shame.

6. Wisdom’s Connection to Humility

There is an intrinsic link between wisdom and a humble disposition. There is no way around this. Again, arrogance prevents learning. Pride prevents people from learning anything. The mind refuses to learn what it thinks it already knows. And the arrogant person thinks he knows everything. 

7. Learning from Mistakes

If you find yourself making a mistake because of pride or because pride prevented you from learning what you needed to learn, you have the opportunity to self-correct. you can learn the lesson you should have learned and press on without the pride to weigh you down. But it will take a serious mistake to break up the monopoly that pride has on the learning mind.

8. Creating Humility

We need to make intentional efforts to cultivate and maintain a humble mindset. Like every positive character trait, we have to invest concentrated effort into developing that trait. It will not develop itself. We have to build it and then maintain it over time. It will not sustain itself.  

9. Continual Pursuit of Wisdom

This passage encourages a lifelong commitment to seeking and applying wisdom through humility. Without continually developing the individual level of humility, we can never hope to improve ourselves or develop any appreciable level of wisdom.

Wise Counsel – Proverbs 11:14

“Where there is no counsel, the people fall; but in the multitude of counselors there is safety.”

Lessons from Proverbs 11:14

1. The Critical Role of Counsel

Wise decision-making is difficult without counsel from wise individuals. Counsel is the ability to gather information from multiple perspectives of people who are pursuing the same desired outcome. Whether it is generals waging war or business executives on the war lines of business, multiple perspectives are critical to prevent one person from missing critical information when making a decision.  

The lesson is clear, get as many perspectives as you can before making a final decision – but don’t use information gathering as an excuse to procrastinate action. 

2. Avoiding Pitfalls

The negative outcomes of a lack of counsel are obvious. From lost revenues to lost wars to tragic mistakes in our personal lives, we make poor choices when we only rely on our minds to make decisions. 

The Biblical text teaches that to prevent unfortunate outcome outcomes, we need counsel. We need wise input from wise men to make wise decisions. 

3. Multiple Perspectives

Whenever we are taking counsel from people, we need to ensure we are taking a broad view of the information at hand. The more perspectives we can gather the better. And the wiser those perspectives are the better. Don’t limit yourself to a small amount of information. Gather as much intelligence as you can before deciding anything. 

Gather this intelligence as rapidly as you can so you don’t delay taking action. 

4. Community Strength

There is power found in collective wisdom. Though not everyone is wise, and not every opinion should be considered, there is still benefit to gathering the wisest men among you to take counsel of them. If the wisdom from one individual can be valuable, imagine that wisdom compounded across multiple individuals with all of their life experiences and wisdom. You combine all of those perspectives and you have wise counsel. 

5. Decision-Making Due Diligence

We need a rational approach to decision-making, to make the best decisions possible. Otherwise, we run the risk of making decisions before we’re ready or making poor decisions in general. And this is what most people do, they rush into decisions without gathering full information, and because of this, they make poor decisions. 

Taking counsel for multiple men speeds up the process. You now need much less time to gather information because each man contributes a thinking brain [hopefully]. This means each person can think through the situation on his own, think through unique situations, and problem-solve more rapidly. Each man can also run the problem through his personal experience and look for patterns. 

Much of wisdom is pattern recognition. 

6. Risk Mitigation

We cannot mitigate risk in everything. Reducing risk is not always an option. However, we can reduce risk by taking the collective perspectives of wise individuals with any counsel. This is a rational way to take a more measured approach to risk. We all take risks from the time we get out of bed to the time with lay down. None of us are immune to it. But we can mitigate the risk in the bigger decisions by taking advantage of wise counsel and multiple perspectives. Take advantage of all the collective information that you can. 

7. Wisdom in Collaboration

Team efforts don’t always produce valuable outcomes. Often you get dragged down by the weakest performing members of the team. This makes it critical to curate your peer group. You must be highly selective about who is around you. Low performers will certainly drag you down to their level.

It’s very possible to collaborate yourself into oblivion by taking poor perspectives into account. You have to use discretion and ignore people who are not wise. Weed them out and eliminate their negative influence. This is why you have to rationally evaluate each of the perspectives you gather.

Just because someone is an old man doesn’t mean he has a wise opinion nor is it guaranteed that he has gathered wisdom of his own. Wisdom does not always accompany age. But if the collective wisdom of the collaborators is high, counsel and collaboration can be very valuable in any instance. But at no point do we relinquish the ability to think with our rational minds to evaluate the information that we receive with our minds. Don’t believe everything you hear. 

Take advantage of counsel.

The Content Ambitious Man: Reconciling Faith and Ambition

I. Introduction


A. The Average Religious Guy Wants to Convice you That Amibtion and Faith are opposing forces.

The only problem is that this philosophy is dead wrong. The average person looking to place faith and ambition in opposition is just looking for an excuse to justify his personal failures.

“If I’m not successful and you are, the only reason is because I’m more spiritual than you are! You must be really worldly to have amassed all that worldly success”.

Just like these men do when they purport the Poverty Gospel, they must demonize ambition and worldly success as well.

Their only choice to make themselves feel better is to make the issue of success a moral one. The fastest way for religious people to claim the high ground is to take an amoral position and convert it into a moral one.

By doing so they make their necessity a virtue.

content ambitious

B. People are more successful now than ever.

Even people who are “failures” are more successful than people have ever been in history, financially speaking. They may not have the drive or personal success, but they have money that civilizations past could only dream of.

This is just like the poverty gospel where even the “poor” have more material wealth than the wealthy would have had just a few hundred years ago, let alone when the Bible was being written.

There is no room for anyone to babble on when it comes to success, failure, and ambition. Even people with no ambition have luxuries that the hardest-working businessmen couldn’t have dreamed of in centuries past.


C. Thesis statement: Contrary to the false philosophy of the poverty gospel, contentment, and ambition are not mutually exclusive but rather complement each other.

Colossians 3:23 is the key biblical text supporting this idea.

II. Understanding the False Philosophy of the Poverty Gospel

A. You already know what the poverty gospel is. It’s the envious idea that people who have wealth are automatically evil. It has no rationality behind it, or any validity in reality, but nevertheless, it is popular in religious circles. Including the religions of environmentalism and socialism.

Religious people desperately need wealth and faith to be opposing forces so that they can justify their lack of wealth to themselves.

But it’s all relative – again reflect on centuries past and you will see the poor today have unimaginable luxuries compared to the people of the past.


B. Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Job, and Joseph – Content Ambitious Men

The Bible describes Abraham as a man rich in livestock silver and gold [Gen 13:2].

Now is Abraham evil because of his wealth?
Is he a bad guy because he amassed possessions in this material world?

No, we know that is not the case. We know it is possible to be Spiritual and wealthy at the same time. The two are not opposed. And Abraham’s is a great example of that.

What about Isaac [Gen 26:12-13]? He followed in his father’s footsteps and became so wealthy that he was the envy of the Land. Was this man materialistic and evil because he amassed so much wealth and possessions that he made other people feel bad? He hurt their feelings with how successful he is, but he would still be righteous.

Jacob followed the example of his father and his father before him [Gen 30:43]. Amassing possessions to the point of “excessive wealth”.

Did that possession make him evil? No.
Was he able to be righteous despite wealth? Absolutely.

Perhaps the most striking example is Job. This is a man whose story opens with an outline of his possessions, and of his character. Here is a man whose character is made more important because of his wealth. He is more impressive because despite having more money than everyone around him, he is still a righteous and just man.

Though He would lose all these possessions, he would maintain God as his priority. He never lost focus on God because he was a righteous man. And he was rewarded with double the possessions that he had before.

The faith of each of these men is not negative because of their wealth, but rather it is made more impressive.

Almost anyone can be righteous while they are poor. Give them a little money or a little power and they will show you who they truly are.

III. The Essence of Colossians 3:23: “Doing All as Unto the Lord”


A. Colossians 2:23 tells us clearly and succinctly that the attitude we should have while working is that we are actually working for the Lord.

This mentality helps us to maintain integrity in work. We might steal from our fellow man, but would we steal from Christ?

Additionally, it gives us permission to work with intensity and work to be successful.

If you were to work as if you were working for God and not your “stupid boss”, wouldn’t you be more successful? I would argue that you would be very successful at least within your own character.


B. By working for the Lord, you may start to find contentment in life.

Your job may be boring, and your co-workers may be annoying, but what your hands have found to do can be something that you honor God by doing.


C. Colossians 3:23 dispels the popular myth that if I’m working hard in the material world, I must be worldly.

No, we have a biblical admonition to work hard in the secular workplace. Therefore faith and ambition cannot be opposed.

IV. The Complementary Nature of Contentment and Ambition


A. Many have difficulty because their ambition overrides their ability to have peace.

They are so hungry to be successful that they cannot be peaceful anymore. I have been in that boat many times, so I understand the argument.

But since there is a biblical admonition to work and provide valuable service, and there is also a biblical admonition to be content, we know that both must be true.

God would not ask people to do things that are impossible or mutually exclusive. Therefore in some way, it must be possible to be content and ambitious.

When used correctly, ambition and contentment can have a symbiotic relationship, but it all depends on your mentality.

Attitude is always the key.

The key is that both your contentment and your ambition must exist in the present moment.

When you look into the future constantly or look constantly outside yourself at what you don’t have, you will find it hard to be content.

Also if you are constantly focused on the outcome of your ambition, it will be difficult to be content.

Rather you need to be ambitious for the present moment. Release your need to control the outcome, or the results, of your ambition.

When ambition exists right now, it is powerful. When I become ambitious for the present moment I can concentrate on the work right in front of me. And I can focus on doing the best I can right now. That is present-focused ambition.

And this present focus creates peace. Living in the past or present creates anxiety. But anxiety has a hard time living in the present.

When my goal is to work for the Lord and not for men, but I am content no matter the final results of my work – I am a content ambitious man.

I love goals and I am chasing outcomes in my life. So in no way am I suggesting you not have goals, plans, or things you are pursuing. But what you must do is what the ship captain does. He pulls out his map, marks the port he is sailing to, puts the map away, and sets sail, focusing on the process of sailing rather than an obsession with the port he is sailing to.

So be sure to have goals, but once you set your goals, put them away. Glance at them from time to time to check progress and course correct if you are going the wrong way. But do not obsess over how long it is taking to get there or how difficult it is. You must exist in the present.

The way to be the content ambitious man is to ground your ambition and contentment in the present moment.

Be ambitious for “the now”.

Concentrate that focus on the present and let go of your need to control the outcome. Trying to control the results is a surefire way to create anxiety in your life.

Where contentment provides peace amidst challenges, and ambition drives growth and progress.

V. Contentment: A Foundation for Healthy Ambition

Contentment is “present-oriented”. You are content when you look at what you have right now and are at peace with it. You are not looking outside yourself and generating envy for what you don’t have. You simply have peace with what you do have.

Contentment, therefore, is the foundation for ambition. As you ground yourself in the present to be content, you then. Have a good starting point to “leash” your ambition. Not that you are limiting yourself, setting small goals, or avoiding challenges and work – but you “leash” your ambition to the present. That will give you greater peace.

If you are struggling with contentment it could be because you are missing out on gratitude. A simple but effective technique to work on this is to make a gratitude list. You’ve likely heard about that a million times, and it almost seems silly to talk about, but for greater contentment, count your blessings – have gratitude. We sing the hymn “Count your many blessings“, but how few of us do this?

The gratitude list brings your blessings into your awareness. We forget about everything we have because it falls out of our awareness and we become accustomed to it. But activate your attention spotlight and point it at your blessings and you will realize how well off you are.

B. Without grounding in the present moment, ambition will be hollow.

Has nothing to control it, and it will run wild. You will become obsessed with outcomes and rob yourself of the pleasure of the process.

Many make the mistake of thinking that if they are content and thankful for what they have, they will become less hard-working and less ambitious. That will only happen if your ambition is future-oriented. Turn the fiery focus of your ambition to the present. Align it with the now, and you will have the same burning drive you have always had, and it will be directed into a moment that brings you greater peace – the present moment.

Ambition that is future-oriented, and that is detached from the present moment will create unnecessary pain through greed. There is nothing wrong with working to gain material things. But without gratitude or a present focus, it becomes a hollow obsession that drains the joy from the process

VI. Ambition: An Expression of Faith


Ambition, when aligned with God’s statutes for wealth management, becomes an expression of faith and obedience through proper stewardship of talents and resources. Faith is action-based. Taking action in the direction of our goals does not mean we lack faith in God to provide for us. That is the type of mentality that results from perverting the teachings of the Bible.


God has always expected His people to take action. Each man is personally responsible for his own life and must act according to [Ezk. 18:20] This applies in every avenue of man’s walk: from religion to profession, to health, to finance.

A Man’s task is to row his own boat without expecting God to do all the heavy lifting.

Conclusion & Key Takeaways

The content-ambitious man exists. It is possible to be both content and ambitious at the same time.

  1. Misconception of Faith and Ambition: Some suggest faith and ambition oppose each other, attributing success to spirituality over worldly achievement. This is a fallacy used to justify personal failures.
  2. Success: Relative and Multifaceted: Even “failures” today possess more material wealth than historical civilizations. The poverty gospel notion and demonizing ambition are attempts to morally justify the lack of success.
  3. Biblical Examples: Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Job, and Joseph amassed wealth without compromising their righteousness. Their faith and abundance coexisted, showcasing that spirituality and material success aren’t mutually exclusive.
  4. Colossians 3:23: Encourages working for the Lord, promoting integrity, intensity, and permission for ambition in the secular world. This dispels the myth that striving for success in the material realm equates to worldliness.
  5. Contentment and Ambition Synergy: Balancing ambition and contentment is possible. Grounding ambition in the present moment fosters peace. Being present-focused on ambition while releasing the need to control outcomes cultivates content ambition.
  6. Contentment as Foundation: Contentment, rooted in gratitude and present awareness, acts as the base for healthy ambition. A gratitude list can enhance contentment by highlighting one’s blessings.
  7. Ambition Aligned with Faith: Ambition, when guided by biblical principles of stewardship and faith, aligns with proper wealth management. It expresses obedience through action while acknowledging personal responsibility.
  8. Taking Personal Responsibility: Faith doesn’t absolve individuals from taking action in their lives. Man is accountable and must actively engage in all aspects of life, including religion, profession, health, and finance.
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