The Biblical teachings and examples of anger are plethora.
From examples of man’s anger used poorly as with Cain murdering his brother Abel, to God’s righteous anger against sin and Israel, to Christ’s anger as He overturned money changing tables in the temples – the Bible is littered with examples of these natural emotions. And along with those examples are lessons on how we should use and avoid using anger.
Negative Anger
Proverbs 14:29: “He who is slow to wrath has great understanding, but he who is impulsive exalts folly.”
Proverbs 15:18: “A wrathful man stirs up strife, but he who is slow to anger allays contention.”
Notice in these passages the key word is “wrath”. Wrath goes beyond simply feeling the emotion of anger (which is not a problem). Wrath is the outward, uncontrolled expression of the natural emotion of anger. And we are instructed to control that wrath. Do not let it express itself.
We also see instruction to be slow to anger.
We aren’t told “don’t be angry at all”, just to slow our anger.
Delay the reaction.
This ancient advice is built into modern advice like “Count to 10 before responding when you are angry”.
Some valuable principles for anger management are located in these passages.
The key is anger “management”, not anger “avoidance”. We have emotions for a reason, including the emotion of anger. Let’s learn to use it practically.
Positive Anger
Ephesians 4:26: “Be angry, and do not sin: do not let the sun go down on your wrath.”
Mark 3:5: “And when He had looked around at them with anger, being grieved by the hardness of their hearts…”
We are told in Ephesians to manage our anger. We are told that we are allowed to be angry, but to avoid using that anger to do what’s wrong.
The second passage teaches us about Christ’s response to human attitude. Deity is angered by poor attitudes as well as poor actions.
Divine emotions are different from human emotions. God’s emotions are legal, rather than reactive, and sensational.
But beyond these teachings, there are more examples of positive uses of anger in the text.
Anger Replacements
James 1:19-20: “So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath; for the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God.”
Ecclesiastes 7:9: “Do not hasten in your spirit to be angry, for anger rests in the bosom of fools.”
We are again told to be slow to wrath. It’s not that we cannot have wrath at all, but it should be slow and controlled.
Do not be in a hurry to be angry. Have you ever known someone who could go from 0 to 100 in an instant?
Some people have the incredible ability to be angry at everything in the world. Everything is an upset. Even positive things make them angry because “the old days were so much better”.
This is a common attitude among the older generations. Many people fixate on the negative as they age until it is all they see. And that negative fixation clouds their thinking and causes them to become angry at the smallest of things.
We have to be aware of this tendency of human nature to decay into uncontrolled anger or we will be that old generation ourselves.
Controlling Anger
Proverbs 16:32: “He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city.”
Colossians 3:8: “But now you yourselves are to put off all these: anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy language out of your mouth.”
Another Key verse about why it is critical to be slow to anger. Have your anger, but don’t let it be your first response.
Rule your own spirit. If you cannot control your emotions, you cannot rule a city. It is a law that is demonstrated by this proverb.
Poor leaders are unable to control their emotions and focus on what matters.
Discretionary Anger
Proverbs 19:11: “The discretion of a man makes him slow to anger, and his glory is to overlook a transgression.”
Ephesians 4:31: “Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice.”
Just because a man overlooks a transgression does not mean it does not anger him that the transgression exists.
But despite his anger, a man controls it, looks beyond the present moment and makes a better decision.
The Influence of Anger
Proverbs 29:22: “An angry man stirs up strife, and a furious man abounds in transgression.”
Proverbs 22:24-25: “Make no friendship with an angry man, and with a furious man do not go, lest you learn his ways and set a snare for your soul.”
Want to control yourself, be more disciplined, and avoid bad habits? Control your environment.
Control your influences and friendships.
Don’t waste time forming relationships with people you don’t want to be like.
Do not make relationships with people if you do not want their character traits rubbing off on you.
These verses teach that anger spreads like disease. And recall that anger is not the problem, but uncontrolled anger. When a man is angered by everything, he can be manipulated by anything.
The Cause of Anger Matters
Matthew 5:22: “But I say to you that whoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment…”
Note that we are going to be angry with one another. What we are encouraged to avoid here is anger without a cause.
Christ warns us that being angry with one another for no reason is a punishable offense.
Christ is attempting to set a safety net here, an intellectual trigger that makes us think first before getting angry.
We are going to get angry at one another from time to time. But why we get angry matters.
Damaging Effects of Anger
Psalm 37:8: “Cease from anger, and forsake wrath; do not fret—it only causes harm.”
How many good decisions were made in anger? Very few. Anger should be used to fuel a logical decision that has already been made in advance. But it should never be used as a tool for making that decision.
Despite the value of anger as a fuel, when used as a reason or in the decision-making process it causes nothing but unnecessary damage.
Hold Back Your Anger
Proverbs 14:17: “A quick-tempered man acts foolishly, and a man of wicked intentions is hated.”
Proverbs 29:11: “A fool vents all his feelings, but a wise man holds them back.”
Have your anger but hold it in.
Restrain it.
There is great value in stoic control of emotions.
Not everything that is felt has to be expressed.
Spiritual Benefit of Emotional Control
James 1:20: “For the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God.”
Ephesians 4:32: “And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.”
The Ephesians passage contains things that could be done despite anger. No matter what we are feeling, we have a responsibility to act with discipline.
Notice again this term “wrath”. that’s the mindless anger we are wanted against having and expressing.
Become a practitioner of mindful anger.
The Speed of Anger
Colossians 3:21: “Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.”
Proverbs 12:16: “A fool’s wrath is known at once, but a prudent man covers shame.”
Don’t let anger be your first option. Control it or it will control you.
Fathers can rule with an iron fist and anger their children. This anger turns to rebellion.
This emotional control starts with the parents and trickles down
We have to learn how to use anger. It is a gift and tool. But if uncontrolled, can cause substantial damage.