“A man of great wrath will pay the penalty, for if you deliver him, you will only have to do it again.”
Proverbs 19:19
Dealing with Hot-Tempered People
This proverb teaches a simple lesson: it’s a waste of time to try to help or rescue someone with an uncontrolled temper.
Such a person is prone to repeating the same mistakes and getting into trouble again and again due to their lack of self-control.
If you assist them, you will have to repeat this assistance until the end of time.
The key lessons here are:
- Anger Leads to Consequences: A person with a “great wrath” or hot temper will inevitably face negative consequences or “pay the penalty” for their unrestrained anger. We understand this: no one makes wise decisions while under the influence of anger.
- Temporary Relief: Even if someone intervenes to “deliver” or rescue the hot-tempered person from the consequences of their anger, it is only a temporary solution.
- Recurring Pattern: The hot-tempered individual will likely repeat the same angry behavior, requiring repeated interventions or “rescues” from the consequences. At some point you have to let people do what they are going to do and suffer the consequences of their own actions. Without this, they will never learn or change their behavior.
The proverb suggests that personal development requires personal responsibility and self-discipline.
Merely shielding someone from the consequences of their anger does not address the root issue of their lack of self-control.
Practical Application
- Avoid Enabling: Constantly rescuing or enabling someone with anger issues can reinforce their behavior and prevent them from learning self-control. Just as God lets us use our free will and then suffer the results of that free will, so we also must let others suffer the consequences of their actions without trying to shield them.
- Allow Consequences: Sometimes, it is necessary to let people face the natural consequences of their actions, as this can motivate them to change. God does this to us all the time. God will allow is to suffer the consequences of our own actions if it will make us better.
- Encourage Rational Thought: Instead of constantly intervening, encourage the hot-tempered person to reflect on their behavior and take responsibility for their actions. Teach them to use their minds and try to think in advance before making poor decisions.
The proverb teaches us that true growth and change come from within, not from external interventions that shield individuals from the consequences of their actions.
Let people pay the price for what they do.
This applies even to yourself.
