You do not have to lose a family member or end a relationship to feel sorrow.
“The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit”.
Psalm 34:18
“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God”
2 Corinthians 1:3-4
“My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.”
Psalm 73:26
The biggest misconceptions about sorrow or depression is the idea that they are dependent on circumstances. There is a difference between having tragic events happen to you and being “formally” or clinically depressed and sorrowful. Sorrow pervades the heart on good days as well as on bad ones. Sorrow is an emotion that is the product of our thoughts. What we meditate on in our thoughts will determine what kinds of emotions are produced in our mind.
Sorrow is independent of circumstances, and can be a function of personality.
The Proverb writer says, “even in laughter, the heart may sorrow” (Proverbs 14:13). Even when we laugh, our mind returns to what troubles us. Sorrow originates and exists in our minds, and this is what separates it from mourning or grief which are caused by external circumstances.
The second misconception revolves around the idea that it is wrong to feel sorrow. it is not wrong to feel sorrow just as it is not wrong to feel happiness. Weak people tend to think that emotions that feel bad are evil and emotions that are pleasurable are good. This is absurdity, emotions are emotions, how they make us feel is insignificant. Emotions are chemical reactions in the brain, many of which are guided by our thoughts. We as Men must master all of our emotions, positive and negative. Positive emotions can blind us to the truth by making us certain of what we already know, negative emotions disillusion us to reality by painting a neutral reality in a pessimistic light. We must remain in control of all emotions, never allowing them to catch us off guard or affect our thoughts while we are unaware of them.
Sorrow is natural and occurs regularly in the mind of man.
There is more than enough pain on the earth to trigger sorrow in our mind. We should not think poorly of ourselves because we experience sorrow often, as this will only cause us additional sorrow. We as men must simply outlast the sorrow, and it does go away.
Mantra
From the pain of sorrow arises the goodness of growth.
Application
Accept and do not repress your sorrow. Repression never leads to a cure. Avoidance of pain never leads to the resolving of that pain.
Search for the source of your sorrow. What are the doubts, questions or fears living in your mind that are causing you sorrow? Is life itself causing you sorrow? Most Christians avoid making statements like that because life is supposed to be a “gift”.
Once you find the source of your sorrow, you must defeat it by slowly working out each and every doubt and fear through logic and reason. In time you slowly untie the massive knot of doubt and it becomes smaller and smaller as you move to the center. You untie it by asking questions about your questions:
Is the fear rational?
What childhood pain is the root cause of this fear I am experiencing?
Identification of the problem is a major blow to the fear you are suffering.
Through the process of logic you reduce fear and sorrow to nothingness. And if sorrow returns periodically or during your episode of depression, you already know how to outlast it. This is a key strategy: endurance. At times you will simply have to outlast your discomfort. Prepare your mind for the siege by stockpiling supplies: positive role models, stories of inspiration about men who overcame the odds or defeated their sorrow, and the understanding that this sorrow will pass.
Do not complain about your sorrow, that is for the weak. Deal with your pain and master it yourself. By doing this you strengthen your character and make yourself the kind of man who could help someone else with their sorrow.
Cast aside your fear and sorrow.
Defeat the demons that live in your mind.
Endure every attack of the enemy.
Build a fortress of logic around your mind.
Conduct yourselves like men.
