This article serves as an introduction to purpose.
Men were not designed to place their focus on women. In fact, the majority of women do not even want the myopic focus of men. That is not what turns them on or gets their passion burning hot.
Unfortunately, what we learn in religion is that “women want a good man”. Well, that depends entirely on what you mean by “want” and what you mean by a “good man”. A woman does want a good man for a long-term marriage, but that does not mean she desires him sexually. Just because he is attractive as a lifelong mate does not mean he is sexually attractive. Religious men try to compress these two types of desire into one, but they are simply not the same.
Also, women want men who are not only good men but who are manly. While a woman might consider a good man for marriage, she will not be sexually aroused by him unless he can demonstrate some basic masculine traits.
One of the key traits of masculinity is the focus on some form of a goal. A man needs a purpose.
It does not really matter what this purpose is, it just needs to be some form of life direction. This partially explains why women are primally attracted to firemen, policemen, military men, etc. Because the uniform signifies purpose and direction in life along with blatant signals that this man can exhibit traditional masculine virtues of strength, courage, honor, and mastery. Women are not aroused by the guy spinning his wheels, unsure of himself, and headed nowhere in life.
When God made man, He created him with purpose. Man was instructed to name the animals and keep the garden as his first job. After this God decided that man should not live alone, but that he should have a helper.
Understand that the first man’s purpose was created before a woman was brought into his world, literally.
He did not contort himself to appease her, because his mission and purpose were already created before she was even a part of life. This is how it was meant to be and what women are actually attracted to.
Religious men who lack masculinity and purpose have reformed female attraction to suit their mental schemas. They emphasize taking care of women, putting the needs of women before their own, serving them, etc. While those things are important, they will not arouse genuine passion and desire in a woman. They are also heavily over-promoted.
At her core, she does not even want to be the center of his world. She wants him to be focused on his mission, working towards a desirable goal, and wants to know how she can help him get there. Women were designed to help men; they want to do it and it fulfills them. It can never truly fulfill a woman if you make her the center of her universe. She will always feel that something is missing in life. She will feel that her life focus is misplaced and will become dissatisfied with you. You can combat this by focusing on your own mission.
You must find a purpose.
It really does not matter what it is or if it is the correct one. If you simply begin down a path, a better path will be revealed to you. When you start taking action towards goals, something happens that clarifies your purpose. you begin to move the waters of life, and they become clear.
Set a goal for yourself before you worry about women. This is how God intended for it to be. You must consider yourself and your own needs first before you can consider someone else’s. If you are going to support a wife and family one day, you must be in a position of strength. That strength is not possible unless you first take the time to build that strength in yourself.
While religious men glorify weakness and bow to the altar of effeminacy, you must do the opposite. you must serve yourself first. Not in a selfish way, but in a realistic way; in the way God intended. You must first do your work, create your world, and then invite a woman to be part of it if you so choose.
Purpose is found through work
When you try new things, work different jobs, learn new skills, you begin to learn who you are. You do this by learning what you like and dislike. Learning what kind of work you hate is an important part of uncovering your purpose. Many men never do this as they waste their young years accomplishing nothing and spending far too much time with other boys.
At some point, young men need to learn how to be alone and spend time working, developing their own skills. You can start this work now. Even if you are “busy” with your current life, find a few minutes each day to learn about yourself or to develop new skills.
Other men can tell when you have no purpose.
If you are lacking a purpose, other men can smell it a mile away. It gives off the scent of decaying dreams. If you are interested in gaining the respect of men, you need to work on your purpose.
When it comes to finding your purpose, ignore the advice of everyone but yourself. If you would not switch lives with them, ignore their advice. I ignore the advice of 90% of men and 98% of religious men because I do not want my life to look like theirs. I ignore religious men more often because most of them make the mistake of conflating spiritual virtue with masculine virtue. The two are separate and should remain that way.
People give advice based on the results of their actions. If you do not want the same results they got, then do not copy their actions.
You are the only one who knows what you truly want.
Ignore everyone who tells you what career to choose. You must decide for yourself, ignoring every bit of advice. While a few people may have insight into your skills or character that you do not have and it is fine to consider their words, for the most part, you should listen only to yourself.
Spend time alone discovering your natural inclinations. Figure out what you are good at naturally, what you enjoy doing, what you could be better at the majority of the population at doing, and find out what is valuable in the market.
Once you know yourself, then you can win. Develop skills and purpose becomes clear. As mystical as that sounds, it is the truth. As soon as you get moving, you begin to become aware of what you want to spend your life doing. so get moving early.
Summary
Instant Action
- Spend time with yourself. Learn about yourself, ask questions and look for the answers.
- Do not contort yourself to accommodate a woman. you are a man with a purpose first. You will never be your best if you make a woman the focus of your life.
- Spend time working and developing skills. This allows you to course-correct when you hate work and hone in when you love it.
- Ignore the advice of everyone. Do not listen to anyone telling you that you should be X, Y, or Z. Politely tell them you have no interest in their opinion.
- Never take advice from someone you would not switch places with. For me, that disqualifies 90% of men and 98% of religious men.
- Never take advice from men who conflate spiritual virtue with masculine virtue. They have no maturity.