Bathsheba Wasn’t a Victim



Challenging the Pedestalization of Women in the Church



In Christianity, Women are frequently elevated to an untouchable status, often regarded as morally superior or sinless, especially in contrast to men.

This trend is particularly evident when discussing biblical figures like Bathsheba, where the modern narrative has been crafted to portray her as an innocent victim of King David’s power and authority.

But if we examine the situation critically, there’s ample reason to question this assumption.

Bathsheba was not an innocent victim; she was just as complicit as David in their shared sexual sin.

In the church culture, this pedestalization of women—presenting them as incapable of significant wrongdoing—has led to a distortion of biblical truth.

Let’s break down the case of Bathsheba, explore her potential motivations, and dismantle the harmful ways that men in the church, influenced by modern feminist ideals, minimize women’s sins while overemphasizing the sins of men.




Bathsheba’s Role: Not a Helpless Victim

The typical narrative often attributes David’s sin with Bathsheba solely to his power, authority, and unchecked lust.



They assume Bathsheba had no choice in the matter.

But this assumption is based on nothing more than speculation.




There is no biblical evidence that Bathsheba was coerced or forced into committing adultery.




The passage in 2 Samuel 11 clearly indicates that David saw Bathsheba, desired her, and sent for her—but it never suggests that she resisted or was reluctant.

Bathsheba, like David, knew what she was doing was sinful.

While it’s possible that she was intimidated by David’s status as king, it’s also entirely plausible that she knew the benefits of sexually engaging with the king.

Let’s be honest about the societal dynamics of that time: women sought financial security and protection through men.

Bathsheba could have very well seen an opportunity for herself by aligning with David.



Being connected to the king brought lifelong security. If she bore his child, she would secure not only her own future but the future of her family.

This wasn’t just a matter of attraction; it was a power play.

Bathsheba’s compliance may have been driven by the recognition of what a relationship with the king could mean— status, power, and security that no ordinary life could provide.

For all we know, Bathsheba may have seen this as her moment to secure a place in the king’s court.



The Double Standard: Bathsheba vs. Esther

Let’s contrast the church’s treatment of Bathsheba’s story to the story of Queen Esther.

In the book of Esther, we celebrate her as a hero for bravely approaching King Ahasuerus to save her people, even at the risk of her own life.


We honor Esther’s courage and admire her strength in standing up to the king, breaking protocol, and putting herself in danger for a greater cause.




Had Bathsheba resisted David’s advances and reminded him of God’s commands, we would have celebrated her in a similar way that we celebrate Esther.


But instead, based on the biblical record, Bathsheba made no such stand. She did not stand firm in righteousness, nor did she attempt to dissuade David from sinning.

She participated willingly, and for this, we cannot absolve her of responsibility.




Yet, the church often excuses Bathsheba and paints her as a victimwhileglorifying Esther for doing the exact opposite.


Why?

Because the modern narrative has adopted a warped view of gender roles, particularly in regard to women.


Women are viewed as pure, innocent, and incapable of wrongdoing.

Meanwhile, men are always framed as the aggressors or oppressors, especially when it comes to sins involving power, sex, or authority.




The Pedestalization of Women in the Church

What we see in the story of Bathsheba is a microcosm of a larger issue in the church today: the pedestalization of women.

This tendency to treat women as sinless or morally superior to men is a direct consequence of the feminist influences that have infiltrated the church.

Even the most conservative religious circles are not immune from this influence.





Men are viewed as inherently flawed, their sins seen as worse and more dangerous, while women’s sins are minimized or excused altogether.


The church, eager to distance itself from accusations of sexism, has adopted the idea that women are inherently better than men—morally, spiritually, and emotionally.



This idea has become so ingrained that even when women engage in clear acts of sin, they are given a pass.

Bathsheba’s sin with David is ignored or downplayed, while David’s actions are highlighted and condemned as evidence of his failure as a man and leader.

How many sermons have you heard about David and Bathsheba?

Likely dozens.

How many preacher even dare to suggest that Bathsheba was complicit in sin in any of these sermons?

I’ve never heard it done once.

But the Bible does not teach that men and women are to be held to different moral standards. Romans 3:23 (NKJV): “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.

Both men and women are equally capable of sin, and both are equally accountable before God.




The Weakness of Men in the Church

Part of the reason this pedestalization persists is because of the weakness of men in the church.

Many men have been taught, either explicitly or implicitly, that their natural masculine traits are bad or sinful.

Masculinity, leadership, and strength are often vilified in modern discourse, leading men to retreat into a passive, apologetic stance.

Men, in an attempt to remain in the good graces of women, have bought into this pedestalization.



They downplay women’s sins in the hopes of securing approval, attention, or sexual access.

These men have sacrificed their God-given authority and responsibilities in exchange for the illusion of harmony, but this “harmony” comes at the cost of truth.

Instead of standing firm on biblical principles, men have abdicated leadership and allowed feminist ideas to take root.

The church has created a culture where men are expected to bear the full weight of sin, while women are absolved by virtue of their genetalia.

This is neither biblical nor just.



Bathsheba’s Story: A Lesson for the Church

The story of Bathsheba is a reminder that both men and women are responsible for their actions.

Bathsheba was not a helpless victim in her encounter with David; she was a willing participant in sin.

To excuse her behavior is to deny the reality of human sinfulness and to perpetuate the false idea that women are inherently more righteous than men.

The Bible calls us to hold both men and women accountable for their actions. Bathsheba’s sin was real, and her motivations—whether driven by fear or ambition—do not excuse her complicity.

James 1:14-15 (NKJV): “But each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed. Then, when desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, brings forth death.” This applies equally to men and women. Both David and Bathsheba were drawn away by their own desires, and both sinned as a result.

The church must stop excusing women’s sins while condemning men’s. Pedestalizing women does a disservice to the entire body of Christ. It is time to return to a balanced, biblical view of sin, where both men and women are equally responsible for their choices and actions.




The Truth About Bathsheba

The pedestalization of women has distorted our understanding of biblical narratives like Bathsheba’s. Bathsheba was not a victim, nor was she innocent.

She was a woman who very likely made a calculated decision to engage in sin with David, just as David made a calculated decision to pursue her.



Both David and Bathsheba were equally guilty.

It’s time for the church to stop excusing women’s sins, stop vilifying men for their masculinity, and return to the biblical standard of accountability for both sexes.

Only then can we address the real issues of sin and righteousness that affect all believers, male and female alike.

20 Bible Verses About Lust

The Bible has a great deal to say about the idea of lust. It appears multiple times in scripture, and we are wanted countless times to avoid it. Lust goes beyond the sexual, though that is the realm where it likely has the most power.

If you are at war with lust – which as men with free circulating testosterone is almost certainly the case – then these passages of scripture may help you in your war. Remember that when Christ faces temptation from the devil in Matthew 4, He responds to temptation with the words of scripture – because those words are weapons.

1 John 2:16: “For all that is in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—is not of the Father but is of the world.”

The three types of lust are identified here. We lust with our eyes after things we want, after things that are beautiful. This lust goes hand in hand with the lust of the flesh, where our body literally craves something powerfully. Maybe this is a natural desire like sex, but because it is challenged in the wrong direction towards women who are not our wives, it becomes a sin and a snare. Then the pride of life is a lust for things of this world that make us feel powerful, and reduce our trust in God. We can earn things of this world, but when they become idols and the tools by which we elevate ourselves in the minds of other men, this becomes a massive problem.

Matthew 5:28: “But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”

Christ addresses adultery at its root. Christ understands our psychology, that whatever we think about we eventually do. Thoughts become things. God in the flesh knew this better than anyone. So He gives us this instruction to correct the thought, so we never have to suffer the consequence of the “thing”.

Christ is not making the command more difficult, He is making our lives easier by instructing us to pull up the sin at the root so we don’t have to worry about what happens when it becomes a full-grown tree.

Galatians 5:16: “I say then: Walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh.”

Spiritual matters are our primary concern while we live this life. We do not always act this way, We forget the importance of God and our role as Christians and as men. But the antidote for this is to saturate the mind in spiritual matters. That is what is meant by the word “Spirit” here. We are to be involved with and fully saturated in spiritual matters of life so that we do not idolize and worship the physical.

James 1:14: “But each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed.”

James outlines a critical component of temptation. We learn here that much of our temptation comes from our own mind. The devil doesn’t even have to spend time tempting us, we are drawn away by our own thoughts. This is another reason to control our thoughts at the root before we allow ourselves to be the passive income of the devil.

Colossians 3:5: “Therefore put to death your members which are on the earth: fornication, uncleanness, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry.”

The root of several of these sins is sexual in nature. The first three and arguably four items on this list revolve around the lusts of the flesh that we are commanded to control. Not only are we to control them, but we are to put them to death. We are to enact spiritual violence on our sin – kill it. Kill the old way of living. Literally “make dead” is what the original language says in this scripture. It’s an admonition for spiritual violence because that is what is required to purge sin.

2 Timothy 2:22: “Flee also youthful lusts; but pursue righteousness, faith, love, peace with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart.”

Why are lusts identified as youthful? Ask any older man and you’ll quickly find out that the struggle with lust does not end with age. It still requires that you go to war.

But it seems that there are certain things that are more tempting to different age groups. Just because youthful lusts are identified here does not mean there is no such thing as lust for older people [remember not all lust is sexual]. And recall that in this instance Paul is writing to Timothy who is a young man at the time – and as such he is still warring with the sins that young men war with.

1 Corinthians 10:6: “Now these things became our examples, to the intent that we should not lust after evil things as they also lusted.”

Paul is writing about the Old Testament scripture. We learn from the examples of the OT not to chase the same things or categories of things that the Israelites chased after. We saw how it turned out for them, and we have a responsibility to avoid that sin for ourselves.

1 Thessalonians 4:5: “Not in passion of lust, like the Gentiles who do not know God.”

There is a separation between people who know God and people who do not know God. One of the key differences involves lustful action. There should be a difference between Christians and the godless people of the world. But how often do we act as if there were no difference at all?

1 Peter 2:11: “Beloved, I beg you as sojourners and pilgrims, abstain from fleshly lusts which war against the soul.”

This is one of my favorite passages because it outlines the critical role of spiritual warfare and the psychomachy of the human experience. You won’t always want to serve God with your whole being. Your mind and spirit want to serve God but your flesh has become your enemy.

It is acceptable to have this civil war inside yourself. You will engage in it till the day you die, with victory some days and defeat other ways. But you must always get back up and reengage the enemy.

2 Peter 2:14: “Having eyes full of adultery and that cannot cease from sin, enticing unstable souls. They have a heart trained in covetous practices, and are accursed children.”

An incredible passage from Peter indicates that some people have trained their eyes on ungodly practices. Here he talks about adultery. Because of the focus of their eyes, they cannot cease from sin. Where the eyes go the body follows. They are trained in sinful behavior. This is not the way we are to be.

Proverbs 6:25: “Do not lust after her beauty in your heart, nor let her allure you with her eyelids.”

A very practical proverb written about an adulterous woman: adultery sounds like a great idea when our mind and thoughts are concentrated on the sex act itself. But what happens after the orgasm? We don’t think about that moment.

When the dust settles and the rational mind returns to the man who just had an affair – what is left of that soul? What guilt and sadness rest in the soul of that man? Perhaps none, if he has so seared his conscience. But perhaps there is much guilt and shame because this man did not think far in advance. He did not foresee evil and correct his actions. Led by his libido, he made a decision he would live with forever.

Don’t even fall into the trap of these women. And there are plenty of them in the world.

Romans 6:12: “Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body, that you should obey it in its lusts.”

We commit sins as human beings. But we must immediately purge that sin from our lives as it enters. Lust wants you to do what it says, but you have to resist it. Go to war with it. Purge it.

Titus 2:12: “teaching us that, denying ungodliness and worldly lusts, we should live soberly, righteously, and godly in the present age.”

The wrong way to live is to allow worldly lusts into our minds and lives. But instead, we are to deny them. There is a denial, which means that lust and sin are making a request of us and we have to turn it down. This is demanding. The Christian lifestyle is demanding. But it can be done. Deny ungodliness.

2 Samuel 11:2: “Then it happened one evening that David arose from his bed and walked on the roof of the king’s house. And from the roof he saw a woman bathing, and the woman was very beautiful to behold.”

This is the key moment at which David fell. What he saw with his eyes led to a new picture that he saw with his mind. And marinading on that mental picture he would alter inquire about Bathsheba and take her as his own.

It started with a look.

1 Timothy 6:9: “But those who desire to be rich fall into temptation and a snare, and into many foolish and harmful lusts which drown men in destruction and perdition.”

This is an example of a non-sexual lust. At least not directly sexual. Who doesn’t want more money and possessions in their lives? It becomes difficult to have those things while serving God first and foremost. It can be done, as evidenced by Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, and Job – but the spiritual life must be correct first and foremost.

Genesis 3:6: “So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree desirable to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate.”

All three lusts are mentioned in this verse. It looked good – the lust of the eyes. It would please the flesh – the lust of the flesh. And it would make one wise – the pride of life. These things together made this the trifecta of temptation. Most sin falls into one or all of these three categories. And we have to resist all three.


Psalm 81:12: “So I gave them over to their own stubborn heart, to walk in their own counsels.”


Ephesians 4:19: “Who, being past feeling, have given themselves over to lewdness, to work all uncleanness with greediness.”

At a certain point of living in the flesh and in lust, we can become past feelings. That is a state of affairs. To be so far beyond feeling that we give ourselves completely over to the lusts of the world. It happens frequently – so we have to be ready for it and fight against it to prevent it from ever getting to that point.

Job 31:1: “I have made a covenant with my eyes; why then should I look upon a young woman?”

This is one of the key texts of the Old Testament. And what a statement reflecting the character of Job. Who would do this today? A promise with the eyes, a covenant with them. This is what we must all do as men.

2 Corinthians 7:1: “Therefore, having these promises, beloved, let us cleanse ourselves from all filthiness of the flesh and spirit, perfecting holiness in the fear of God.”

Filthiness of the flesh frequently refers to sexual sin in the Bible. It’s one of the things we are repeatedly told to cleanse ourselves of. This is a difficult cleansing and it has been so for all time. But it is possible.

Plant these verses deeply in your mind and use them for war against lust.

6 Ways Christian Men Can Be More Sexually Arousing

There is a huge discrepancy between arousal and attraction. Religious men love to conflate the two and make them the same thing. But this conflation is not limited to just Christian men. Perhaps 80% of men in the entire world unknowingly combine the two completely different phenomena of attraction and being arousing.

So, what is the difference? At the most basic level, attraction is how well fit you are for a long-term relationship while arousal is how well you can generate genuine sexual arousal in your wife.

You do not have to be arousing to be attractive, but if you are arousing you generally are attractive as well. This is because the trappings that go along with arousal (career success and mastery to name a few) are also attractive for long-term relationships.

Most marriage books teach you how to be attractive, not arousing.

They teach you how to be a good husband and take care of your wife over the long term, but they do not teach you how to get her engine going. This is primarily because most religious men simply do not know how to arouse their wives.

You can be the most attentive, loving, caring, and wonderful husband in the world and still be unable to make your wife physically crave sex with you. That fact is what they do not teach you in those marriage books. She may feel a desire for you emotionally and as a result, want to have sex with you, but she will never viscerally crave a sexual interaction.

Those standard books on marriage are useful for maintaining harmony in the household, improving the tranquility and various emotional aspects of your marriage; but if you want a passionate sexual relationship with your wife, it simply will not happen if you are only an attractive man. You must learn how to be arousing. And it is a skill that can be learned.

Instilled within you is all the knowledge of how to be arousing.

You likely knew this as a young man but had it educated out of you by your mother or the effeminate school systems, and it must be retaught. The feminine-centric society has misinformed you about what is arousing to women. Most men simply believe everything they are told, especially what they are told by women. But when women communicate, they do not tell the whole story with their words alone. You must train yourself to see beyond the content of their words and look into their behaviors instead. Women rarely say what they want, so you have to look at their actions.

Deep within your masculine nature, you already know everything you need to do in order to be arousing, it just needs to be reawakened. I am going to give you a starter pack of six things that without fail arouse genuine sexual desire.

This is key, the sexual desire must be genuine.

Marriage books teach you how to earn desire by trading goods or services. This is never genuine arousal; it is always negotiated. Any intimacy that is negotiated will leave you unfulfilled. You will know in the back of your mind that the intercourse was nothing more than an opportunistic exchange.

You must learn how to be arousing by being masculine and glorious. Doing little chores around the house, being affectionate, and speaking your wife’s love language are all fine and dandy, but they will not give you what you want. They have not given husbands what they are missing in life: a wife who genuinely wants to have sex with them on a regular basis.

This is because men have traded masculinity for effeminacy, and they have believed every word that comes out of the mouth of the metrosexual male. There is nothing wrong with the character of the Christians writing these marriage books, just that they are completely ignorant of how to sexually arouse a woman. And this is not the fault of women either. Most religious women have no idea what arouses them and could not articulate it if they tried. Not because they are unintelligent, but because religion has done an excellent job of repressing the sexual urge and condemning even simple thoughts of sex.

Articulation of a concept follows deep thought about that concept, and religious people cannot articulate what they have not thought about deeply, especially if the item they need to articulate is sexual in nature.

This is not the fault of Christian men and may actually be a symptom of a well-behaved life. If these men did not start having sex until they were married, then they should not be expected to know anything about arousing genuine desire in their wives. However, there is no excuse for marinating in that ignorance for decades as most men do. Men need to relearn how to be arousing and also study techniques of seduction for use on their wives. We cannot let the people of the secular world have all the fun, which is what they think they are doing. So, apply these six principles as best you can, and you will already be well on your way to arousing genuine sexual interest.

I – Arousing Men Put Their Life Mission First

Arousing

Men were built by God to work, to have a purpose. When men put their wives above this mission, they trigger many unintended consequences. Because what they do not know, and what religion does not teach them, is that their wives do not even want to be placed above their man’s mission. Their wives know when their husband has a purpose, a mission, and when he is working on it. And when her husband is being excellent at this mission, that is arousing.

When a man is excellent in his mission, his wife feels the natural feminine urge to support him in this endeavor. This is how women were designed from the very beginning. They were built to help men, and they crave this position. They were designed to patch men up, recharge their batteries and send them back into the fray. This is why women always want to know how their husband’s day went at work. They want to know if any progress was made on their shared life vision. Earl Nightingale noted that this is a woman’s way of asking, “How did we do today?”

Sure, being a good provider is attractive, but it is not sexually arousing.

It does not turn women on that you go to a 9-5 unless that job is inherently masculine or reflects high affluence. Be sure to recall the difference between the two: attraction is about the long-term potential and providing, arousal is about being sexually desirable. Being excellent at what you do is both arousing and attractive because it symbolizes good provider ability as well as masculine mastery. And it is possible to be a good provider without being a man of excellence.

If you want to be more arousing to your wife, chase excellence. And as a byproduct of being excellent, you will be a great provider. Do not pursue being a great provider directly, you will only be attractive and not arousing. You will be a good supplement to a woman’s life, but she will never appreciate what you do for her. Women cannot fully appreciate the fact that a man trades units of his life called “hours” in exchange for money. Yes, women can work too, but there is something about this concept of trading units of life to facilitate the lives of others that women will never understand about a man’s role.

This is the burden of man, that no one can truly know him.

II – Arousing Men are Traditionally Masculine

New age masculinity, which is essentially femininity with a beard and CrossFit membership, is not arousing to women. When it comes to traditional masculinity, you have to ignore what women say and look directly at their actions. More specifically, look at the types of men that women are generally (but not always) aroused by.

Is the effeminate man sexually arousing to women? No, absolutely not. For all intents and purposes, he is a eunuch. This is why women feel safe keeping effeminate men or male homosexuals in their inner circle of (usually girl) friends. Because what possible danger could these men pose to their safety? They can take advantage of having a “man” in their group as a weak attempt to scare off attackers, and they do not even have to give one drop of sex in return for that “protection”.

Throughout history, it is the violent, masculine (but not moral) men that have posed the threat to women. If a woman includes one of these men in her inner circle, he may feel entitled to sex in exchange for his presence and protection. No such need exists if you have an effeminate man in your friend group.

Men also need to understand a bleak truth: men and women can never be friends.

If a man has female friends, he is effeminate. Even if only by virtue of the proverb, “ You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with”. If one of those people is a woman, you will be influenced by her and become more feminine. Men and women are not and cannot ever be friends. Either the man is effeminate/homosexual, or he is sexually interested in the female. There is no third option.

What is arousing to women is traditional masculinity. Strength, courage, honor, and mastery, as outlined in The Way of Men. Women like it when men engage in masculine behavior. This is why many sports or athletes are arousing to women. Do you think women care about the technical skill and ability of the game or do they like seeing masculine men compete against one another so they can pick out the best ones to try to lock down? Many sports are a simulation of war, and women are aroused by warriors. Warriors represent protection and security, which is one of the many currencies that women value. Be a warrior, at least in spirit, if you want to be more arousing.

Also, there is an undulating discussion in society and religion about something called “choreplay”.

Choreplay is the idea that if you do chores around the house, like a good little boy, your wife will be aroused by this and will not be able to contain her passions for you. Now, this does not even pass the sniff test. It smells like a stupid idea, but every several years or so it gains traction again.

I will tell you now, chores are good for attraction but bad for arousal. If you want to arouse your wife by doing things around the house, those tasks must be masculine. You have to repair things, chop wood, build furniture, or something along those lines. Doing chores around the house that are not masculine will not be arousing to anyone. Again, those chores might make you attractive, they will not make you more arousing.

III – Arousing Men are Physically Fit

Many religious marriage texts try to do away with the biological drive for sex and frame the act as a purely emotional and spiritual activity. While sex is certainly emotional, that is only one part of it. We cannot do away with the physical aspect of sex.

I think one of the reasons religious men want to avoid the biological portion of sex is because it is their weak point. Physicality is where most religious men fall short when it comes to arousing their wives.

It is not entirely their fault, because they have been taught their whole lives that women are looking for good men who take good emotional care of their wives. So, if a man works hard to become a good man and take care of the emotions of his wife, he will be rewarded with a fulfilling sex life. Maybe that is true and maybe it is not. But simply being a decent man will not help men get the passionate sex they really want. That passion can only come from true desire, and most men are not physically desirable to generate that passion in their wives.

Most men truly want to be wanted, desired, even lusted after by their wives.

But those feelings are not aroused if you are simply a good man. There needs to be some base element of physical attraction. The stronger this element, the better the foundation for sex. Of course, the physical attraction cannot be the only part of sexual attraction, but it is certainly more significant than most religions try to make it.

At some point, we have to reconcile the fact that for centuries women have occasionally resorted to having promiscuous sex with men they barely know. Anyone who knows anything about Woodstock understands this fact. Most religions try to argue that this is incredibly emotionally unfulfilling for women. But the fact still remains that women are engaging in promiscuity at increasing rates since the Free Love movement.

Some men have graphed this behavior across a woman’s monthly cycle and have been able to pinpoint the times when fertility, and therefore sexual desire, is at its highest. At that point of high fertility, women are more likely to be promiscuous. And religion still has to contend with the very apparent fact that every year college girls go on spring break in Costa Rica and engage in sex with the highest value male they can find. On the bright side, this fertility spike is when most married men can expect their wives to be craving sex with them, even if these men are not very arousing.

Back to the original point of physical fitness: In the most basic sense, men need to be physically fit.

Most men write this off. Just like they will try to call cowardice and poverty “virtues“, they will call the person who trains the body “earthly” or “selfish”. Because taking care of your body so you do not die of heart disease at age 50, leaving your wife and kids stranded with no support is “selfish”.

Men who are physically fit are physically attractive. The fastest way for a man to increase his sex appeal is through training. He will get results there faster than he can get them anywhere else in the world. It may take years for him to achieve mastery or climb the ranks in his career, but he can make a substantial difference in his physique in just 6 months of training.

Physical attraction is the base of every physical relationship.

A man will not approach and talk to a woman unless he is physically attracted to her. No relationship can begin without the element of physical attraction, and it is up to the man to maintain or even improve upon this attraction through intense exercise, preferably strength training.

Sure, a man can get away with being a runner, but the results will not make him physically attractive to the majority of women. The common man needs more muscle tissue, and every man knows this intuitively. When you see women swooning over men, they are not swooning over the marathon runner. They are swooning over the football player or the strength athlete. Muscle tissue is the signal flag for testosterone, so take advantage of your masculinity and add muscle tissue to your frame.

IV – Arousing Men are Arousing to Other Women

These next two components of arousal go together, and this first one may make religious people highly uncomfortable. Women want to be with a man who other men want to be, and other women want to be with. It is arousing for a woman when other women want her man. This is due to a combination of factors. First, when other women want her man, this proves that he is truly attractive, and not just to her.

She needs to know that her husband is not a loser, and when other women want him, this is a form of evidence for that. Secondly, it stirs up healthy anxiety in her that is built upon her desire to keep her man for herself. She acts on this desire through sex and is one of the times a woman will genuinely, physically crave sex. Women want to have sex with the highest value men, so when a woman’s man demonstrates that he is of high value, the woman will act on this knowledge by “locking him down” and having sex with him.

This is also advantageous for the man, because if he is desirable to other women, then his woman will have to take excellent care of herself. You do not see a high-value man with a 300-pound woman. She would not be able to compete with all the options available to her man in that state. The wife of the high-value man has no choice but to take care of herself and keep herself in shape. She is pushed to do so by the feminine competitive spirit in her.

The only time this is not true is if the man is incredibly disagreeable.

If a man is high value and successful in his career and has achieved mastery, he will be attractive. However, if he is highly disagreeable, he can make himself unattractive to other people he talks to. If his woman knows this, she can let herself go. Because he might be arousing, but he cancels it out by acting like a fool. However, this is principle can be highly circumstantial and has many exceptions.

Another thing to note is that if you are arousing to other women, you need to take extreme care with protecting yourself. Never place yourself in compromising situations. When it comes to your sexual discipline you must declare martial law on your body. Here are the laws:

  1. I am never alone with a woman who is not my wife.
  2. I do not talk to other women unless absolutely necessary (recall that men and women can never be friends).
  3. I make a maximum effort to avoid looking at other women.
  4. I do not talk to women online (and I am preferably off all social media).
  5. All communication with women is strictly professional. If it does not relate to my work, it is a useless conversation.

V – Arousing Men are Admired by Other Men

Women want to be with a man who other men want to be. You must be a man among men, a leader among followers, and someone who contributes great value to the group. This is especially true of the small group. Who are you in your circle of friends? Do you bring value to the table or does everyone else just carry you along?

Through effort, a man can ascend in his career, skills, and ability to think rationally. He can increase his knowledge and physical strength. The aggregation of all these skill increases results in a man’s character and value to the group. The higher the value, the more respect he will earn. The more respect and admiration a man earns, the more he is desirable to women.

Women do not want to partner with a man who is the laughingstock of the group. Women do not go after men who are in the middle of the pack unless they are forced to by necessity or age. They want the high achievers and the men who are respected by other men. Women want the tribe leaders, the warriors, and the masculine. A man who can be trusted in a survival scenario is the man other men want to be, and the man other women want to be with.

IV – Arousing Men Ascend the Ranks

Arousing

Women do not like it when their men are stagnant in life. They were designed from the beginning to help men along in their missions. If a man has no mission, no ambition, and is going nowhere, his woman will be annoyed and sexually turned off. This is when she may also begin to nag her man. A woman cannot be aroused if she is not allowed to live out her feminine purpose by supporting a man who is on the rise of power.

The man who remains stagnant loses his power. The man without power has no sexual availability even with his own wife. You may start out with a great sexual relationship at the beginning of your marriage only to have it taper off within 2 years. You might sit there thinking “Why doesn’t she want me? I’m still the same guy she married those years ago”. And there is your answer! You are the same person. Instead of improving and rising through the ranks or achieving any kind of mastery in life, you stagnated. This is a sexual turn-off to women. One of the many ingredients for sexual arousal is masculine ascension. 

As men we were designed to pursue and achieve.

Work was given to us before anything else. Women were given to men to help them in their work and to help them achieve their full potential as men. Women naturally want to do this, contrary to the modern feminist narrative.

Some of feminism is built on the fact that women believe they have to take on the masculine role in society. Would women believe this if the majority of men were pursuing excellence in their lives? Perhaps, but I do not think that feminism would be as pervasive as it is today if more men were modeling themselves after masculinity and striving to be more.

Apply these six principles and you will be a better man, and you will be genuinely arousing to your wife.

The Sexual Market Value of Joseph

It is fairly simple to understand how a woman’s sexual market value is determined. All you need to know is if she is attractive or not. Sexually, a woman’s value is based on how good she looks. When men look for a sexual partner, this is all they consider, from a secular point of view. Even religious men first determine if a woman is attractive and then consider her character when they are looking for someone to date or marry. A man will not even talk to a woman if she is not attractive, despite what the “beauty is on the inside” proponents have to suggest. Unfortunately for them, you cannot have sex with inner beauty, so it is not the first consideration for men looking for women. What we will learn momentarily will help us understand how high the sexual market value of Joseph was.

For men, on the other hand, there are many more components that go into determining their sexual market value.
the sexual market value of joseph

Looks are only a component, and though they are important, they must be supplemented with additional characteristics for a man to be sexually marketable. Most notably, looks must be supplemented with traditionally masculine features and behaviors along with a man’s ability to game a woman, and finally topped off by his status or affluence. At the end of the day, women have more criteria for what makes a man a desirable sexual partner, both short and long-term.

Also please note, when I say “sexual partner” I do not mean “husband material”. The religious world does its best to convince young men that behaviors such as being a good provider, taking care of a woman’s emotions, and being a good father are what make men sexually attractive. This is not true. While those behaviors make men good long-term marriage partners, they are not good for generating genuine sexual attraction in a woman. That is best done by a combination of masculine behavior plus game, masculine features (muscle mass, lower-pitched voice, etc.).

Women have different criteria for who they want to have sex with versus who they want to marry.

The church has tried to educate and condition women to desire those long-term provider characteristics (good provider/good father etc.), but conditioning cannot undo a woman’s basic biological need to breed with the man who has the best genetics. She will desire to marry the long-term provider, but she will desire to have sex with the most masculine man. This is also why many Christian wives will rarely if ever feel a genuine sexual desire for their husbands. 

That is a brief glimpse into the female sexual selection process and there is much more to cover at a later time, but those few paragraphs should give you enough information to make the story of Joseph much more compelling. 

What we have in Genesis 39 is a man named Joseph who checks all the boxes for a good short-term sexual partner for a woman. 

The sexual market value of Joseph is quite high. Let’s have a look at these:

I. He is Physically Attractive – Genesis 39:6


The Bible says Joseph is handsome in both form and appearance. Meaning he had an attractive body and face. These are two basic characteristics that form the foundation of a man’s sexual market value. But that is not all, we also learn that:

II. Joseph is Successful and Becomes an Overseer of Potiphar’s House – Genesis 39:3-4

Arguably, even more important than a man’s looks are his status and ambition. Not only is a man’s success in his career reflective of his ability to be an efficient long-term provider, but it also reflects mastery and ambition, each of which women usually find masculine and attractive. Joseph climbed the ranks in Potiphar’s house until he was in charge of everything. Potiphar’s mind was free to focus on business and the kingdom of Egypt, and he must have enjoyed that mental rest. 

III. Joseph becomes “Forbidden Fruit” – Genesis 39:8-9

Women want what they cannot have. So when Joseph refuses Potiphar’s wife, that only makes him that much more desirable to her. Now she has to have him because he is not only attractive and successful but also a challenge to be conquered. 

Potiphar’s wife likely was not interested in one single sexual encounter, I argue that she wanted a long-term affair. 

I base this on the fact that the Bible says “He did not heed her to lie with her or to be with her”. Why separate “lying with” and “being with” unless they describe two separate events. Potiphar’s wife wanted sexual access to Jospeh over the long term (Genesis 39:10).

Men like Joseph are what women want:

1. Successful
2. Ambitious
3. Attractive (Fit)

Consider these points the next time you hear a lesson on the story of Joseph. Go to your preacher and ask him about the sexual market value of Joseph and see what he says. Most men have no idea the temptation Joseph faced when dealing with Potiphar’s wife because they themselves are not sexually marketable enough to be valued by women and subsequently be tempted by them. Women like high-value men. Most men in the church are too busy using their virtue to justify their poverty to have time to train their bodies or build their wealth

Consider how you can make yourself more like Jospeh if you want to be more attractive to your wife. Be masculine and work hard and put yourself first.

Homosexuality – No More Pandering

Unlike the common statements made in the secular and religious world, the Bible has much to say about homosexuality. Never let it be said that “But the Bible doesn’t talk about homosexuality” because it most certainly does.

“You shall not lie with a male as with a woman; it is an abomination.”

Leviticus 18:22

“If a man lies with a male as with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination; they shall surely be put to death; their blood is upon them.”

Leviticus 20:13

“Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. And such were some of you. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.”

1 Corinthians 6:9-11

“For this reason God gave them up to dishonorable passions. For their women exchanged natural relations for those that are contrary to nature; and the men likewise gave up natural relations with women and were consumed with passion for one another, men committing shameless acts with men and receiving in themselves the due penalty for their error.”

Romans 1:26-27

“Just as Sodom and Gomorrah and the surrounding cities, which likewise indulged in sexual immorality and pursued unnatural desire, serve as an example by undergoing a punishment of eternal fire.”

Jude 1:7

“Now we know that the law is good, if one uses it lawfully, understanding this, that the law is not laid down for the just but for the lawless and disobedient, for the ungodly and sinners, for the unholy and profane, for those who strike their fathers and mothers, for murderers, the sexually immoral, men who practice homosexuality, enslavers, liars, perjurers, and whatever else is contrary to sound doctrine”

1 Timothy 1:8-10

Homosexuality is not new, but stupid people in the religious world treat it as if it were some brand new evil concocted by liberals and hippies.

Let us go back in time and take a look at some of the early recorded instances of homosexuality in the Bible. 

Perhaps the first recorded instance is with Sodom and Gomorrah. There is also the strong possibility that the people of the world during the time of Noah were deeply embedded in homosexuality. The ancient, evil city of Sodom is where we get our word “sodomy”. That city was destroyed by God for its evil. 

Later on in the Bible we find out that cult prostitutes were in the land of Israel, and they were a blight to the Israelites.

Whenever Israel left God, it was because pagan worship included sex. The reason we keep mentioning this fact is because sex itself is the prime reason that Israel forsook God again and again. If you ever hear some perplexed soul asking the popular question, “I don’t know why Israel kept associating with the pagans especially after they had seen God do miracles. What was wrong with those people? Did they ever learn anything?” Sex, friend, it is because if they left God they were rewarded with sex. That fact is one of the few useful bits of information I acquired during my college years. But not only were there female prostitutes, there were also male ones for the effeminate Israelites. 

People choose homosexuality today for more reasons than simple “orientation”. I argue that one of the reasons men practice homosexuality is because it is the only way they can get any attention from the world.

In the modern world a homosexual is deified and praised for “coming out”. They are lavished with attention and commended for their “bravery”. This type of response propels more people to come out as deviants. They may not even have strong homosexual desires, but they are strongly attracted to all the attention they would acquire if they practice homosexuality. Because these people were getting zero attention in their daily lives, they think they will be the center of the universe if they are homosexuals. 

A man can be a complete nobody who is worthless to the world and who feels no sense of belonging to anyone. But the instant he says he is attracted to other men, the world worships and praises him.

Homosexuals have their own support and celebration groups and the new man gets more attention than he has ever received in his life. Being homosexual guarantees attention for men who were otherwise too worthless to gain that attention themselves. This is addictive and is the business model of social media. 

Before we continue to make notes about homosexuality, let us observe a very important point: The religious world makes the mistake of separating homosexuality from other forms of sexual deviance. Homosexuality is not worse than fornication (sex outside of marriage) or adultery (sex where one partner is married to someone else), it is simply less common. All forms of sexual immorality are evil. 

There are whores in the religious world, and this is just as much of a problem as homosexuality. 
There are adulterous men and women in the church, and this is just as much of a disease as homosexuality. 

Look around you the next time you are in the church. You are almost guaranteed to see someone who is dealing with homosexual urges. Do you cast him or her out or do you help them live righteously? There are people who have same-sex urges just as most men deal with temptation from women other than their wives. We should not treat these temptations as different entities. Sexual temptation is sexual temptation – all sexual immorality is wrong and all of it should be destroyed. Adultery, fornication and homosexuality are forms of sexual deviance and are sin. 

Now that we have examined the Biblical position on homosexuality, let us understand why it is not masculine to be homosexual.

To help clarify this, I will extensively quote an author who explains this perfectly. This is Jack Donovan from The Way of Men whom we have referenced before. 

“The Tactical problems presented by the appearance of weakness as a group explain, to an extent, the visceral response many men have to displays of flamboyant effeminacy. The word effeminacy is a bit misleading here, because it really isn’t about women.The dislike of what is commonly called effeminacy is about male status anxiety and practical concerns about tactical vulnerabilities, and it is more accurate to discuss dishonor in terms of deficient masculinity and flamboyant dishonor.”

Donovan continues,

“Flamboyant dishonor is an openly expressed lack of concern for strength, courage and mastery within the context of an honor group composed primarily of other men.” 

“I’ve observed this in the few brief introductions I’ve had to Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, in gyms where everyone rolls with everyone. Men find out quickly who is good, and who isn’t…The only way to improve your status within the group is to try harder and get better. Flamboyant Dishonor is a little bit like walking into that room full of men who are trying to get better at jiu-jitsu and insisting that they stop what they are doing and pay attention to your fantastic new tap-dancing routine. The Flamboyantly dishonorable man seeks attention for something the male group doesn’t value, or which isn’t appropriate at a given time. At the primal level, flamboyant dishonor presents tactical problems for the group. By outwardly and theatrically rejecting the core masculine values, particularly strength and courage, the flamboyantly dishonorable male advertises weakness and propensity for submission to outside watchers. Any student of human (and in many cases, primate) body language will be forced to recognize that the postures, gestures and intonations of males generally regarded as effeminate are in fact postures, gestures and intonations that communicate submissiveness.”

Interesting.

The man who rejects the Honor codes of the group can obviously not be trusted to ‘snap to’ in a state of emergency. Dishonor is disloyalty. A man who not only refuses to be as strong, courageous and competent as he can, but who flaunts these codes theatrically for all to see is a weak link. He makes his peers seem more vulnerable for tolerating vulnerability, and more cowardly for tolerating cowardice. He brings shame on the group, and with shame comes danger, because public displays of weakness and cowardice invite attack”

“This tactical reasoning goes a long way towards explaining why men who function successfully within male honor groups make a big show of rejecting and distancing themselves from males who are flamboyantly dishonorable. By expelling effeminate males from the group or by gaming them and pushing them to the fringes of that particular group, the group projects strength and unity. The group demonstrates that ‘we do not tolerate unmanly men here’”

“When men reject effeminate men they are rejecting weakness, casting it out, and cleansing themselves of its corrosive stigma”

I have nothing to add to this assessment of homosexuality presented by Jack Donovan.

Mantra

I am not my urges.

homosexuality

Application

Stop treating homosexuality differently than other forms of sexual immorality. Men will struggle more than women with homosexual desires because of the taboo nature of homosexuality. It is almost popular to be lesbian while it is shameful to be a male homosexual. 

The religious world must cultivate relationships that help others bring themselves to repent and live righteous lives. You cannot force people to repent. We tend to forget this fact. Relationships are the key vessels for evangelism and for inspiring others to come to repentance. If you want to reach someone, you must build a relationship with them. We cannot take God and sell Him door to door like a vacuum cleaner. People do not care what you have to sell them, even if it is salvation, unless they have a relationship with you. 

Many men become homosexual for the attention and relationships.

The church should work to provide the attention and friendships they are looking for without the sinful behavior. But the church can only do this if the members stop treating homosexuality like it is the only sexual sin in the world. If you want to wage war on homosexuality, you must also wage war against extramarital heterosexual sex and lust. All these enemies are allied and you must destroy every single one of them. 

Men cannot continue to pander to sexual sin. Whether homosexual or heterosexual, sexual immorality must be absolutely annihilated from our lives and the church.

We have a bad habit of not addressing sexual sin regularly, and as a result, people think it’s “not that big of a deal”. When people think something is not a big deal, their behavior devolves at a rapid rate. It doesn’t take long before they are snorting lines of cocaine off a hookers chest. Perhaps that is a slight exaggeration (but I do not think it is that much of a stretch considering the state that most youth groups are in).

If you struggle with homosexual urges, get some help froma  trustworthy and supportive source. You might be able to win this battle alone, but you may also need a counselor. See a professional, not one of those nonsense “certified” counselors in the church. Those men spent exactly one weekend doing some online training and printed out their certification on construction paper to make it look fancy. They have no practical experience or training and cannot help you. See a real counselor.

You must be intrinsically motivated to change.

It is not enough to want to change for family and the church, you yourself have to believe that there is a better life available to the man who rejects sexual sin and lives with sexual discipline. 

With a professional you might be able to find out what started you on this path and discover what the root of your struggle is. The same principle applies for heterosexual sin. Understanding why you have a problem is one of the most valuable tools you can have in your war. 

Secondly, see someone in your church or in nearby churches who has dealt with the same temptations. This may be difficult as men are usually not willing to admit they want to have sex with other men, but there will most likely be someone who wants to help you through your struggle. Having a friend or helper in your struggle will be a massive aid to you if you are too weak to win on your own. Just be vigilant and do not let that friendship turn into a homosexual escapade. If you fear that this could happen, avoid getting help and fight the war as a soldier on your own. This is a nasty battle, but you can win. 

Conduct Yourselves Like Men.

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