As a Christian man, it is critical not to overlook the importance of physical attraction when seeking a wife.
While Christian virtues and shared values are crucial, physical attraction is a fundamental aspect of a fulfilling marriage that should not be neglected.
Many Christians neglect teaching about sexuality all together, much less instructing men on what to look for in a wife beyond the standard Christian values.
The Role of Physical Attraction
Physical attraction plays a significant role in marital satisfaction.
All the good Christian qualities in the world cannot substitute for sexual arousal and physical desire.
If you don’t want your wife sexually, this is a problem.
Because you will inevitably come across women you are sexually aroused by, only they won’t be your wife.
Your resentment towards your wife may grow.
Your marital dissatisfaction may grow.
You may out yourself in a severely disadvantaged position of being attracted to seemingly every woman but your wife – as some Christian men have made known to me.
That’s a sad way to live.
And it’s a permanent way to live.
This physical attraction aspect of marriage is often overlooked by Christians, but it remains critical for a healthy and happy relationship.
Avoiding the Temptation to Settle
Many Christian men find themselves tempted to settle for someone they are not genuinely attracted to, believing that shared values and virtues will suffice.
However, it is important to wait and find someone who is very physically attractive to you.
Do not panic if there seems to be no eligible women around. They are out there.
Be sure to include God in your search, approaching him in prayer and asking for what you are seeking: a woman who is both beautiful on the inside as well as sexually arousing on the outside.
A man can help guide his wife in understanding various philosophies and spiritual matters, but he cannot change her physical appearance.
You can help her learn the flaws of religious Liberalism, but you cannot change the symmetry of her face or the curvature of her body.
It may sound shallow, but it absolutely is not.
Here’s why:
If she does not look good to you, you may be tempted to seek sexual satisfaction elsewhere, which is obviously detrimental to the marriage.
Here’s a critical litmus test for you: If you would have to ‘convince yourself’ to be attracted to a woman, you are not attracted to her.
If she doesn’t catch your eye the moment she walks into a room, you aren’t attracted to her.
Period.
Move on to the next one.
There is no shortage of attractive women.
The Advantage of Time
Men have the advantage of time when searching for a mate, as our sexual market value often lasts well into our thirties.
We simply stay attractive longer.
In fact, we become more attractive into our 30s because we become more established in our careers and lives.
And this is one of the factors that satisfies part of women’s dualistic sexual strategy.
So don’t feel like you are running out of time as you approach your 30s and even beyond. You have far more time than women whose sexual value begins to deteriorate in their 20s.
This long lasting sexual value gives us the opportunity to be patient and selective.
It is crucial to choose someone who is both very attractive and shares core Christian values.
Do not compromise on one or the other.
But recall that you can teach your wife. you cannot change her appearance.
Physical Attraction and Sexual Intimacy
Physical attraction is necessary for true physical intimacy, which is reserved for and expected in marriage.
Let’s be real: if you aren’t attracted to a woman, your ‘equipment’ will not work when it’s time to get sexual.
This intimacy strengthens the marital bond and is a gift from God meant to be enjoyed in marriage.
Ignoring physical attraction can lead to sexual dissatisfaction and temptations that could harm the relationship.
Conclusion
While Christian virtues and shared values are indispensable, physical attraction is equally important in a marriage.
Christian men should be patient and discerning in their search for a wife, ensuring that they find someone who is both physically attractive and aligned with their core values.
This balance is key to a fulfilling and enduring marital relationship.
You have all the time in the world.
You don’t have the same biological clock that limits women.
Get it in your mind that it is okay yo be selective, and patient. you have all the time in the world. And as a Christian, God is on your side in this quest.
Be very selective, remembering that as a man who will be providing, you are the prize to be sought after, not the other way around.
You are you own mental point of origin.
Treat yourself with enough respect to find a sexually attractive woman to marry.
