Proverbs 31:3 – “Do not give your strength to women, nor your ways to that which destroys kings”
What is the Bible talking about when it mentions “giving your strength to women”? The text is almost certainly talking about sexual discipline. Many ancient texts throughout history have taught the importance of controlling one’s sexual drive. As the Bible is the true authority for life, it is even more impactful when a similar teaching is found in the scriptures.
The lesson of Proverbs 31:3 is quite clear: a man is supposed to control his sexual drive.
The Bible teaches that uncontrolled sexual drive leads to a depletion of strength.
- Physical strength
- Mental strength
- Emotional strength
- Spiritual strength
- Strength of will
All of these are damaged when men mindlessly engage in sex or sex substitutes.
This is what the Bible means by “do not give you strength to women”.
We know what to do.
We are told to control our sexual drive.
We are taught that uncontrolled sexual drive depletes our strength. What are some quick tactics for doing it?
The first step is to maintain a controlled environment. The environment contains triggers that lead to craving which leads to failure. The best way to control yourself is to control your environment. Environmental control is 80% of discipline. Get out of those situations that would lead to temptation:
- Parties
- Late night one-on-one interactions with women
- Late night on the computer.
Be very selective about the information and media you consume. If you want to walk into a cesspool of lust, log into your social media feed.
You have to maintain control of what goes into your mind. If you feed your mind lust-producing entertainment, you will make your struggle ten times harder. The sexual urges will be more powerful and will surface more often. You have to cut off the supply at the root. Prevent your mind from being able to generate those cravings in the first place.
Next, work to fix the parts of your life that are lacking. Uncontrolled sexual drive is often the result of a lack of purpose and other emotional problems.
Men do not use sex because they want sex. They use it to numb negative feelings in other avenues of their life. Negative feelings exist because we are doing something that is in opposition to our nature.
If you begin to work on this lack of purpose, the problem of compulsive sexual urges will begin to resolve naturally. This is because many men use sex and pornography as a way to numb emotional pains. These emotional pains are often the result of problems with a man’s day-to-day life.
Identify the problems in your daily life.
Where are the areas of life that are leaving you unsatisfied?
What are you unhappy with in your life?
And What is within your power to fix [almost everything]?
And What are you going to do to fix it?
Many men find that with increased purpose through meaningful work, family, the church, and marriage they can take the high ground against sexual temptation.
Not all of these will be motivating for everyone. For example, I can tell you the church itself does not motivate me to be sexually disciplined. I don’t draw much strength from my local church – which I understand is a problem, but it is a reality at the moment.
Whatever you can find to draw strength from, use it. Use everything in your arsenal.
Nothing is off-limits.
Start with these tactics and begin to go to war against lust.
