Category: Christianity

One of the most misunderstood concepts in Christianity today is the idea of “speaking the truth in love.”

Many Christians, influenced by modern culture, have adopted a faulty definition of what love truly is.

They equate love with feelings—romanticized notions from movies, TV shows, and books.

This incorrect understanding distorts how they deliver the truth – they water down God’s Word in an effort to avoid offense.

But the Bible-based truth is this: biblical love is not a feeling—it is an action. And speaking the truth in love means delivering that truth without compromise, even if it hurts.

Love in the Bible Is Action, Not Emotion

Let’s get one thing straight: love in the Bible is not a warm, fuzzy emotion.

Nine out of ten times, when you read about love in the Scriptures, it’s action-based.

Jesus Christ himself didn’t talk about love as something you feel. Instead, he always backed up his words with action.

Consider these passages:

• John 15:13 (NKJV): “Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends.” Notice that love here is defined by sacrifice and action, not emotion.

• 1 John 3:18 (NKJV): “My little children, let us not love in word or in tongue, but in deed and in truth.” Love isn’t just what you say or feel—it’s what you do. If your actions don’t align with love, then no matter what you feel, you’re not really loving.

Feelings may or may not be involved, but love, biblically speaking, is about doing the right thing. It’s about sacrificing, serving, and speaking the truth.

The Mistake of Avoiding the Truth for the Sake of “Love”

Here’s where most people get it wrong.

In an effort to avoid discomfort or offense, they try to deliver the truth in what they believe is a “loving” way, by watering it down.

They think love means protecting people’s feelings, so they soften the message, leaving out the hard truths.

But in doing so, they’re actually engaging in hate because they’re withholding the full truth from someone who needs it.

• Proverbs 27:5-6 (NKJV): “Open rebuke is better than love carefully concealed. Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.” The Bible makes it clear: real love sometimes means saying things that hurt, because those things are necessary for growth and correction.

People tend to confuse compromise with kindness, but compromising the truth to avoid offense isn’t kindness—it’s a failure to love in the biblical sense.

The moment you dilute the truth for the sake of peace, you’ve abandoned real love and are only participating in a false form of it.

Speaking the Truth vs. Watering It Down

It’s important to recognize that how you deliver the truth matters.

Yes, Scripture teaches that we should be wise in our approach. There is no value in being unnecessarily harsh, but the core point remains: the truth must be spoken in full.

• Ephesians 4:15 (NKJV): “But, speaking the truth in love, may grow up in all things into Him who is the head—Christ.” The verse doesn’t tell you to soften the truth, to avoid uncomfortable topics, or to prioritize feelings over facts. It tells you to speak the truth in a loving manner, meaning with care and concern for the person, but without compromise.

When you twist or dilute the truth to avoid stepping on toes, you are no longer speaking it in love.

Love demands you tell someone exactly what they need to hear, even if it’s not what they want to hear.

Getting the Doctrine Right

Before we even talk about delivery, the most important aspect is getting the doctrine right.

If you don’t have the facts straight, then it doesn’t matter how lovingly you present it.

The truth is non-negotiable, and God’s Word is clear on what is right and what is wrong.

• 2 Timothy 4:2-3 (NKJV): “Preach the word! Be ready in season and out of season. Convince, rebuke, exhort, with all long-suffering and teaching. For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine, but according to their own desires, because they have itching ears, they will heap up for themselves teachers.” The passage warns of those who will not endure sound doctrine—people who only want to hear what makes them feel good, what fits their emotional expectations. But the responsibility of a Christian is to speak the truth as it is, regardless of whether it is welcomed.

You can’t prioritize peace over truth. If the truth causes discomfort, then so be it.

Better to save someone’s soul with the full truth than to keep the peace and leave them ignorant of what they need to know.

Kind Delivery, but Not at the Expense of Truth

Delivery of the Truth does play a role. The Bible speaks clearly about using wisdom in how we present ourselves.

But there is a fine line between tact and compromise. You can be wise in your words without sacrificing the essence of truth. That’s where many fail.

Some believe that in order to keep someone’s attention or to avoid conflict, they must tone down the message.

But doing so makes you complicit in falsehood. Speaking the truth in love doesn’t mean watering down the truth until it’s barely recognizable.

• Galatians 1:10 (NKJV): “For do I now persuade men, or God? Or do I seek to please men? For if I still pleased men, I would not be a bondservant of Christ.” At the end of the day, if your primary goal is to avoid offense or to make people comfortable, you are no longer serving Christ—you are serving men.

Better to Offend and Save Than to Stay Silent and Condemn

The core of this idea is simple: truth first, delivery second.

Many in modern Christianity have it backwards. They focus so much on not offending anyone that they fail to realize that silence or diluted truth can condemn souls.

You can’t hide behind “love” as an excuse to soften the Word of God. Real love tells the truth, even if it’s uncomfortable.

• James 5:20 (NKJV): “Let him know that he who turns a sinner from the error of his way will save a soul from death and cover a multitude of sins.” Turning someone from their error requires you to confront them with the truth, whether they like it or not.

Conclusion: Truth First, Love Always

Speaking the truth in love is not about sugarcoating or compromising. It’s about delivering hard truths with the aim of saving souls.

Love in the Bible is action-based, not feeling-based. And sometimes, that action involves saying things that people don’t want to hear.

If we dilute the truth in the name of “love”, we are failing the very people we claim to care about.

It’s far better to offend someone with the full truth and help them find salvation than to make them comfortable in their error, leading them to eternal loss.

So, if you truly love someone, speak the truth—no matter how hard it is to hear.

The Christian walk isn’t designed to be about your personal enjoyment.

While there are benefits—emotional, spiritual, or otherwise—they are not the main focus of the faith.

Too often, people approach Christianity expecting it to provide them with a sense of happiness, comfort, or joy as if that’s the primary goal of following Christ.

That’s a misstep.

The Christian walk isn’t a guarantee of emotional highs or earthly rewards. It’s about one thing—obedience—getting the soul into a saved state and, ultimately, into heaven.

Christianity’s Purpose: Getting to Heaven

The purpose of the Christian life is not centered on how we feel during it – because at times you are going to feel negative.

The point is simple: obey God to get your soul into heaven.

That’s the goal, and anything else is secondary.

Your enjoyment, emotional satisfaction, or personal peace doesn’t have much to do with it.

It’s easy to get wrapped up in emotional experiences and think that peace, joy, and comfort are automatic outcomes of obedience, but Scripture doesn’t promise that.

What God commands is obedience, whether you feel good about it or not.

Commands Over Comfort

The Bible is full of commands, not suggestions. These commands are not tied to your emotional state or personal satisfaction. For example:

• Ecclesiastes 12:13 (NKJV): “Fear God and keep His commandments, for this is man’s all.” The command here is clear: keep His commandments. There’s no mention of needing to enjoy it. It’s an obligation.

• Matthew 7:21 (NKJV): “Not everyone who says to Me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ shall enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father in heaven.” Obedience to God’s will is non-negotiable. That’s the ticket to heaven, not whether or not you find joy in that obedience.

It’s Not About Emotional Rewards

Many people have twisted Christianity into something that promises emotional or even physical rewards.

There’s this notion that if you do what’s right, God will give you peace, comfort, or joy as a byproduct. And sure, sometimes those feelings may come—but there are no guarantees.

You may go through periods where you don’t feel any of these things, where obeying God feels like a grind, where church attendance is a chore, and worship doesn’t excite you.

It’s important to understand that emotional fulfillment is not the measure of faithfulness. The Bible never says, “Do this and you’ll feel good about it.” It says, “Do this because you must.”

Look at these verses:

• Luke 17:10 (NKJV): “So likewise you, when you have done all those things which you are commanded, say, ’We are unprofitable servants. We have done what was our duty to do.’” This verse is key because it strips away any sense of entitlement to reward. The Christian life is a duty.

• 2 Timothy 3:12 (NKJV): “Yes, and all who desire to live godly in Christ Jesus will suffer persecution.” You might not like it, but following Christ may actually bring suffering rather than emotional rewards.

Emotional Attachment Is Misleading

People often conflate obedience with feeling good about being obedient.

This is a mistake.

You can do the right thing without liking it.

In fact, a lot of the commands in Scripture require sacrifice, self-denial, and discipline—things that naturally don’t feel good.

Jesus Himself didn’t come to earth and enjoy every moment of His mission. Hebrews 5:8 (NKJV) says, “Though He was a Son, yet He learned obedience by the things which He suffered.”

Obedience is not about feeling joyful all the time.

Sometimes, it’s about suffering through, pushing forward, and doing what is necessary because that’s what God requires.

The Prosperity Gospel Is False

On the extreme end of this false narrative is the prosperity gospel, the idea that following God will bring financial, physical, or material rewards. That’s nonsense.

Scripture doesn’t back that up, and anyone who teaches that is misleading their listeners.

If you want to be rich, serving God is not a formula for accomplishing that.


You have to work and achieve your own success, and if God allows it, then you will be rich.


But being faithful does not confer wealth to people.

Look at Matthew 6:19-20 (NKJV): “Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal; but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven.” God doesn’t promise earthly rewards for obedience. In fact, we are told not to expect earthly gain.

Our focus should be on eternal rewards.

Focus on Obedience, Not Feelings

The Christian life is about doing what is right regardless of how you feel.

• You may not always like it.
  
• You might not feel good about depriving yourself of earthly pleasures, about taking up your cross and following Christ daily.
  
• You might never feel a rush of joy or excitement when you go to worship or obey a difficult command.

That doesn’t matter. What matters is obedience.

• Philippians 2:12 (NKJV): “Work out your own salvation with fear and trembling.” This verse stresses effort, not enjoyment. You have to put in the work, regardless of how it feels.

You Don’t Have to Enjoy It

Here’s the reality: you don’t have to enjoy worship, or giving up sin, or following the commandments. You just have to do it.

You don’t have to feel a longing for fellowship or an emotional connection to the rituals and acts of worship.

Those things aren’t essential to salvation. Obedience is.

Matthew 7:21 (NKJV) makes it plain: “He who does the will of My Father” will enter heaven. It doesn’t say “he who feels joy”, “he who feels peace” or “he who feels positive emotions while worshipping.”

Do What’s Required

At the end of the day, the Christian walk is about obedience. Whether or not you find personal enjoyment in it is irrelevant.

There is a purpose to this life that can be understood intellectually but doesn’t have to be felt emotionally: to get your soul into heaven.

The means to that end is doing what God commands, regardless of whether you enjoy the process or not.

Emotions are not the barometer of faithfulness. Actions are.

So don’t get caught up in whether you’re feeling fulfilled, comforted, or joyful all the time.

Worry about what you’re doing, not about how you’re feeling.

Because when it comes down to it, that’s what God requires: pure obedience.

The Bible teaches us to “bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ” (Galatians 6:2). The Bible instructs us to support and lift each other up through the struggles and trials of life, especially as we walk through the narrow path of faith.

Ideally, this is what should happen within the church.

We should be able to confess our sins to one another, offer genuine support, and grow together in our shared struggles.

But in reality, the modern church doesn’t quite work like that anymore.

Instead of support, too often, we face harsh judgment—even from fellow believers.

This brings up a critical point: you have to be very careful who you share your burdens with.

In the modern world of convenience, ease, and superficial connection, especially within the church, it’s far too common to find judgment even when you are confessing sins like the Bible instructs.

And this is a tragedy because it undermines the very thing we are commanded to do—to help each other overcome sin.

Why People Don’t Confess Specific Sins

Consider this: when was the last time you saw someone confess their sin in a church service or a Bible study?

If you pay close attention, you’ll see that most confessions are vague at best.

You’ll hear things like, “I’ve been struggling recently” or “I’ve been a bad example,” but rarely does anyone name their sin specifically. Why?

Because people know that the moment they become specific, the judgment becomes specific.

And specific judgment is far more painful than general judgment.

People have run the numbers in their minds and come to a conclusion: it’s safer to keep their confession vague.

If you confess in broad strokes, you might receive a vague disapproval from others.

But if you name your sin—really name it—you run the risk of being torn apart by the very people who are supposed to help you heal.

Instead of receiving help, people fear they’ll be seen as evil despite the fact that they are in the process of repenting.

This is the sad reality in many churches today. People are so afraid of being judged and criticized by their fellow Christians that they would rather keep their struggles to themselves—or, at best, speak in vague, non-specific terms.

As a result, they miss out on the opportunity for real help and support.

The power of specific confession lies in its ability to connect you with those who have faced the same struggles.

But that connection rarely happens because most people stay hidden in vagueness.

The Church and Unrighteous Judgment

The Bible teaches that we are to judge righteously (John 7:24), yet unrighteous judgment is rampant within the church.

People don’t confess their sins because they know all too well what awaits them—a self-righteous, condescending response that offers more criticism than support.

How tragic is it that within the body of Christ, the very place where we should find forgiveness, we instead find judgment?

Christians fear their own brethren more than they fear the sin they’re struggling with.

And that fear leads to a silence that keeps people bound to their sins.

Confession, which is supposed to bring freedom, is now viewed as a potential death sentence—socially and spiritually.

The Solution: Confide in the Right People

So, what do we do?
Do we abandon confession altogether?
Do we stop bearing one another’s burdens because the risk of judgment is too high?

Absolutely not.

But what we must do is be strategic. You can’t share your deepest struggles with just anyone. You have to be selective about who you confide in.

You need to find people who have struggled with the same sins and have overcome them.

These are the people who will understand what you’re going through and can offer practical advice and spiritual wisdom. They won’t judge you because they’ve been in the same pit themselves.

Confession and accountability are critical parts of the Christian life, but they must be done in ways that allow for people to actually want to confess and follow through with confession.

And sadly, the collective church doesn’t provide the spiritual safety that it should.

We aren’t built for collective confession in this modern era where judgment is more common than spiritual support.

So instead, look for one-on-one opportunities.

Find someone you trust, someone who has struggled as you are struggling, and confide in them privately.

This person may not be the person sitting next to you in the pew. They may not even be in your immediate circle. It may take some effort to find them, but it’s worth it.

These are the people who will help you bear your burdens and fulfill the law of Christ in the way it was intended.

A Practical Solution: Anonymous Confession

One possible solution to this problem is an anonymous system within the church, where people can confess their sins without the fear of judgment.

In this setup, people could take on a pen name and anonymously share their struggles with others who have faced similar sins.

This way, you can connect with people who truly understand what you’re going through, without the fear of being condemned by the broader church body.

Anonymity offers the safety people need to be honest.

Over time, if trust is built, those anonymous relationships could become in-person, private partnerships of accountability.

But even if they remain anonymous, the connection can still provide the support and advice needed to overcome sin.

The goal is to facilitate repentance and transformation, and if anonymity helps that process, it’s worth pursuing.

The End Goal: Genuine Repentance

At the end of the day, the purpose of confession is to repent and change behavior in obedience to God. The church should be a place where people can do that without fear.

But if the church isn’t that place, then we need to find other ways to bear one another’s burdens.

Whether through one-on-one confession or anonymous support, the goal remains the same: to help each other overcome sin and live faithfully.

Unfortunately, in many churches today, the collective body isn’t capable of handling confession the way it should.

We judge too harshly, and we show too little kindness when people actually try to obey the commands of God.

Until that changes, we must be cautious about who we share our struggles with. We must seek out those who will lift us up, not tear us down.

It’s a sad reality that we can’t fully trust the church to bear our burdens, but that doesn’t mean we give up on the biblical command to support one another.

We just need to be wise in how we do it.

Confess to the right people, bear one another’s burdens, and keep your focus on repentance and obedience to God—not on the approval or judgment of men.

Choose Wisely Who You Confide In

The church is supposed to be a place of healing, grace, and restoration. But too often, it becomes a place of judgment and fear.

This reality forces us to be cautious about who we share our struggles with.

Confession is powerful, but only when it’s done in the right context.

Be careful who you confide in.

Look for those who understand your struggles, who have been through the same battles, and who can offer you the help you need to overcome.

And if the church body can’t handle collective confession without judgment, consider alternative ways—like anonymous systems—where people can safely seek the help they need.

In the end, the goal is the same: repentance, obedience, and faithfulness to God.

But to achieve that, we need to bear one another’s burdens without tearing each other apart.

Only then can we truly fulfill the law of Christ.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve read from other Christians that “you should leave church feeling encouraged, uplifted, or spiritually refreshed”.

Whether it’s after Sunday service or a midweek Bible study, there’s this unspoken and even spoken expectation that positive emotions should follow faithful worship and righteous living.

But let’s be honest: that’s not always the case, nor should it be.

The idea that every act of obedience to God will be met with positive emotional rewards is not only unrealistic but also fundamentally misunderstanding the Christian walk.

Life isn’t about guaranteed emotional payoffs for doing what’s right.

Sometimes, obedience to God feels like a sacrifice with no immediate return.

And that’s okay because the walk isn’t about your emotions; it’s about your obedience.

The Paradox of Sacrifice

One of the realities of Christian life is that sacrifice often doesn’t come with immediate rewards.

Sometimes, it doesn’t even come with rewards in this life at all.

The Bible calls for self-denial, and Christ himself demonstrated this through his life and death.

If there’s one thing we should understand from the Christian journey, it’s that the sacrifices we make here are often only rewarded in the next life, if at all.

But somehow, there’s this pervasive idea that when we walk into church, sacrifice our time, energy, and resources, we should immediately leave feeling encouraged, as if the sacrifice guarantees an emotional reward.

That’s simply not how the human emotional apparatus works.

Emotions Are Unpredictable and Inconsistent

Emotions are unpredictable, inconsistent, and highly variable.

No set of actions can reliably reproduce the same emotions over and over again.

Think about a simple example like practicing gratitude. You may have tried this habit before and experienced what I’m about to describe.

You could perform the same gratitude practice—listing what you’re thankful for—every day for ten days, but your emotional response will differ every single time.

Some days you may feel deeply grateful, other days you may feel nothing at all, and on some days, you might even feel negative.

The only thing that produces reliable, consistent emotional responses is hard drugs – which are inherently harmful – which chemically manipulate the brain to produce predictable feelings of euphoria.

Clearly, that’s not what we’re aiming for in our spiritual lives.

So why do we expect church or Bible study to deliver the same emotional outcome each time we attend?

Why do we teach people that they should always leave worship feeling “encouraged” when human experience simply doesn’t work that way?

The truth is, it’s impossible to guarantee any specific emotional outcome from any human action, much less a church service, no matter how faithful or dedicated you are.

Different People, Different Feelings

If you were to poll every person in a congregation as they leave a service or Bible study, you would get a range of answers on how they felt.

Some would say they felt uplifted and encouraged, others might feel indifferent, and still others might leave feeling emotionally drained.

This range of responses isn’t a reflection of the quality of the worship service but rather a reflection of the unique emotional makeup of each person.

There are countless variables—personality, upbringing, habits, mindset—that determine how a person feels at any given time.

And it’s naive to think that everyone can perform the same spiritual acts and come out feeling the same way.

Medicine doesn’t even work that way and it’s based in natural law.

If the exact same dose of the same medication worked the exact same way in every patient, doctors wouldn’t need to exist—computers could do their job. But that’s not how human biology works, and it’s certainly not how our emotions work either.

There are hundreds of confounding variables that influence how a medicine acts on the body. Even so, there are hundreds of confounding variables that changes how we experience emotions.

So when it comes to church, why would we expect everyone to have the same emotional reaction? We shouldn’t. It’s entirely unreasonable and illogical.

It’s Not About How You Feel; It’s About What You Do

This obsession with needing to feel encouraged or uplifted after church has shifted the focus away from what’s truly important.

Worship, obedience, and righteous living are about God, not about you or how you feel.

Sometimes you might leave church or Bible study feeling like you got nothing out of it—and that’s perfectly fine.

It’s not about you to begin with.

The central question isn’t whether you feel emotionally fulfilled after worship but whether you were obedient.

Were you faithful?
Did you offer your worship in spirit and truth?
Did you listen, reflect, and try to apply the teachings of Scripture?

These are the things that matter. Not your emotions.

We confuse believers when we teach them that they need to feel a certain way after church in order for the experience to be valid. That’s not how spiritual discipline works.

The Christian walk is about doing what’s right, regardless of how you feel.

If you obey God, live righteously, and follow his commands, you’ve done what you’re supposed to do, even if you don’t feel a single twinge of emotional reward afterward.

The Discipline of Obedience

We have to remember that faithful living is about discipline, not about being handed emotional treats like a dog performing tricks.

Sometimes the Christian life is hard, and sometimes you don’t feel encouraged at all. But that’s no reason to stop doing what’s right.

Imagine this: You’ve had a long, exhausting day at work, and the last thing you want to do is attend a Wednesday night Bible study. You go anyway. Maybe you didn’t feel inspired by the message, maybe you were tired and couldn’t focus, and maybe you didn’t leave feeling spiritually recharged. But your obedience to God is what matters. You prioritized Him over your fatigue, your emotions, or your personal preferences. That’s faithfulness.

Your emotions may tell you that you’d rather be anywhere else, but your mindset tells you that you need to be in church, doing your best to honor God.

You can have a miserable emotional experience yet still be living in perfect obedience.

That’s what true Christian discipline looks like.

The Problem with Emotional Expectations

When we teach people to expect emotional rewards for every act of faithfulness, we set them up for spiritual confusion. Many will believe that if they don’t feel encouraged after church, they’ve somehow failed or that their faith is lacking. This is a gross misunderstanding of what the Christian walk is all about.

The Bible doesn’t promise emotional rewards for obedience.

Sometimes, you’ll just have to do what’s right without feeling anything.

In fact, Romans 6:18 tells us that we have “been set free from sin and have become slaves to righteousness.”

Slaves don’t ask for rewards; they simply do what is required of them.

Faith Over Feelings

You don’t have to feel encouraged every time you leave church, and you don’t have to feel a positive emotional reward every time you obey God.

Sometimes, faith means doing what’s right even when your emotions aren’t aligned with it.

The Christian walk is about discipline, not emotional gratification.

If we can learn to prioritize obedience over feelings, we’ll stop chasing emotional highs and start living the kind of faithful, consistent life that God truly calls us to.

So no, you don’t need to feel encouraged when you leave church. What you need is to be obedient, faithful, and committed—no matter how you feel.

The Separation of Emotion and Obedience

There’s a pervasive assumption within Christian circles that in order to faithfully serve God and fulfill His commands, you must feel a longing for fellowship, for worship, or for obedience.

Many of us grow up being taught and thinking that a lack of emotional drive signals a deficiency in our faith, and that God expects not only our actions but also our emotions to align perfectly with what we are doing.

However, the Bible does not support this notion.

While emotions can be a helpful companion to our actions, they are not a prerequisite for faithfulness.

The Bible commands the right attitudes and right actions — not the right emotions.

God commands us to be obedient, regardless of how we feel at the moment.

What matters most is what you do, not how you feel about doing it.

You don’t have to long to be with your brethren, nor do you have to emotionally connect with every aspect of Christian living in order to do what’s right.

Attitude vs. Emotion: What the Bible Actually Commands

First, we must understand the distinction between attitude and emotion. They are not the same thing.

Emotions are usually involuntary and spontaneous reactions to our circumstances [though you can learn to control them to an extent], attitudes are deliberate mindsets and decisions we make about how we think and act.

God commands attitudes, but nowhere in Scripture are we commanded to feel specific emotions.

If you think you find a command in scripture to feel a certain way, look closer and make sure it’s not about cultivating an appropriate mindset – more often than not this will be the case.

For example:

• Philippians 2:5 (NKJV): “Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus.”

• The command is clear: Let this mind — a specific way of thinking and attitude.

This passage doesn’t command us to feel something, but to manually develop a specific mindset modeled after Christ.

• John 14:15 (NKJV): “If you love Me, keep My commandments.”

• This isn’t about feeling an emotional surge of love. It’s about obedience.



Loving Christ means acting in accordance with His will, not necessarily feeling a particular way.

You prove that you love Christ by doing what He says, not by feeling a specific way.

• 1 Peter 1:13 (NKJV): “Therefore gird up the loins of your mind, be sober, and rest your hope fully upon the grace that is to be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ.”

• The command here is to prepare your mind — an actionable decision to focus on godly thinking, not an emotional feeling.

These verses reveal an underlying them of the Bible – that God is much more concerned with what we do and how we think than what we feel.

Attitude and obedience matter; emotions, while they may be present, are secondary and not commanded.

Obedience Is Not Dependent on Feeling

The clearest biblical example of the separation between obedience and emotion is Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane.

In Matthew 26:39 (NKJV), Jesus prays, “O My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from Me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as You will.”

Here, Jesus feels horrible negative emotions – dread, anxiety, fear, anguish – emotions that are entirely human, but He chooses to obey regardless of those emotions.

His feelings did not determine His course of action.

This is a key point. Emotions do not negate the responsibility to obey.

God never requires us to feel like obeying; He simply requires that we do it.

Similarly, you don’t need to feel an emotional longing to be with your brethren or to serve in worship.

The absence of such feelings doesn’t disqualify your faithfulness.

The Bible is concerned with doing the right things with the right mindset.

Longing for the Church: A Command or a Choice?

Many cite examples from Paul, who often expressed a longing for his fellow Christians.

Take, for instance, Philippians 1:8 (NKJV): “For God is my witness, how greatly I long for you all with the affection of Jesus Christ.”

However, Paul’s expression of emotion here is descriptive, not prescriptive.

He isn’t commanding all Christians to feel the same longing he does.

His emotional attachment to the brethren reflects his personal experience, but nowhere does the New Testament demand that we feel the same.

We are commanded to love one another, but biblical love is action—it’s serving, supporting, and obeying God’s commands to benefit others.

The Command to Love Is a Command to Act

In John 13:34 (NKJV), Jesus says, “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another.”

Here, love is commanded, but love in biblical terms is not defined by emotional attachment.

Biblical love is seen in action—in serving, in humility, in sacrifice.

This idea is supported by 1 John 3:18 (NKJV): “My little children, let us not love in word or in tongue, but in deed and in truth.”

Love, in this context, is about what you do, not what you feel.

If you obey God’s command to love by serving your brethren, you are fulfilling His command, whether or not you feel a surge of emotional longing to be with them.

Potential Counterpoints and Rebuttals

1. Joy and Rejoicing Are Commanded

Some might point to verses like Philippians 4:4 (NKJV): “Rejoice in the Lord always. Again I will say, rejoice!” and claim that this commands an emotion—joy.

However, the command to rejoice can be understood as an attitude of deliberate focus on spiritual blessings, not an emotion that arises spontaneously.

This is further clarified in 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 (NKJV): “Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.”

The focus here is on adopting a grateful mindset and keeping a focus on God, regardless of circumstances.

Rejoicing and being joyful are descriptors of mindset, not emotion.

2. Godly Sorrow for Sin

Others may point to 2 Corinthians 7:10 (NKJV): “For godly sorrow produces repentance leading to salvation, not to be regretted; but the sorrow of the world produces death.”

This highlights that sorrow can have a place in repentance.

However, godly sorrow isn’t necessarily an overwhelming emotional experience.

It’s an awareness of sin, a change of mind, and a decision to turn away from sin.

While emotion can be involved, the act of repentance is about changing behavior, not being overtaken by feelings.

Though in practice, I find it much easier to experience godly sorrow than to experience positive emotions.

If you concentrate your mind on what sin cost the Godhead, what it cost Christ on the cross, it often leads to negative sensations that generate repentance.

The key, again, in this passage is about the repentance.

We can hav godly sorrow all day long, but if we aren’t repenting – chancing our actions – it means nothing.

Attitude and Action Are Enough

In the end, you don’t have to feel an emotional longing to be with your brethren to obey God’s command to gather together. That’s just Pharisaical teaching in the modern world.

The Bible emphasizes obedience and right attitude—those are within our immediate control.

We as Christians are expected to act with the right mindset, to serve with intention, and to do what God commands, regardless of how we feel.

Emotions may follow, but they are not a requirement for faithfulness.

You don’t need to feel a surge of desire to attend worship or serve.

What matters is doing it with the proper attitude of reverence and submission to God.

God is more concerned with what you do and how you think than how you feel.

Conclusion

The idea that emotions are essential to obedience is simply not biblical.

God commands right action and right attitude, not emotional experiences.

You don’t have to feel an emotional longing to serve God, be with your brethren, or worship.

What matters is that you do these things, with the right mindset, regardless of how you feel.

Conduct yourselves like men.

Obey God’s commands, focus your mind on what is right, and let your actions speak louder than any fleeting emotion.